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A
Tribute to Mom...
learning the alphabet Mom-style. |
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A - Adult
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing
in the middle.
B - Bathroom
A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom
to be self-cleaning.
C - Committee
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
D - Date
Infrequent outings with Dad where Mom can enjoy worrying about
the kids in a different setting.
E - Empty Nest
See "WISHFUL
THINKING."
F - Fable
A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.
G - Gum
Adhesive for the hair.
H - Hindsight
What Mom experiences from changing too many diapers.
I - Inflation
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
J - Junk
Dad's stuff.
K - Kiss
Mom's medicine.
L - Lemonade Stand
Complicated business venture where Mom buys powdered mix, sugar,
lemons, and paper cups, and sets up a table, chairs, pitchers
and ice for kids who sit there for three to six minutes and next
a profit of 15 cents.
M - Maybe
No.
N - Nail Polish
Part of an assortment of
make-up items such as lipstick, eyeliner, blush etc. which ironically
make Mom look better while making her young daughter look "like
a tramp."
O - Overstuffed Recliner
Mom's nickname for Dad.
P - Panic
What a mother goes through when the darn wind-up swing stops.
Q - Quiet
A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth of
the first
child and occurs again after the last child has left for college.
R - Refrigerator
Combination art gallery and air-conditioner for the kitchen.
S - Spoiled Rotten
What the kids become after
as little as 15 minutes with Grandma.
T - Towels
See "FLOOR COVERINGS".
U - Underwear
An article of clothing, the cleanliness of which ensures the
wearer
will never have an accident.
V - Vacation
Where you take the family to get away from it all, only to find
it there, too.
W - Walls
Complete set of drawing paper for kids that comes with every
room.
X - XOXOXOXOXO
Mom salutation guaranteed to make the already embarrassing note
in a kid's lunch box even more mortifying.
Y - "Yippee!"
What mother's shout the first day of school.
Z - Zucchini
Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before
kids refuse to eat it.
Happy
Mother's Day!
©
Ulla-Jane - 2002
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