When God Created Fathers
When the good Lord was creating
fathers, He started with a tall frame. And a female angel nearby
said, "What kind of father is that? If you're going to make
children so close to the ground, why have you put fathers up
so high? He won't be able to shoot marbles without kneeling,
tuck a child in bed without bending, or even kiss a child without
a lot of stooping."
And God smiled and said, "Yes,
but if I make him child size, who would children have to look
up to?"
And
when God made a father's hands, they were large and sinewy. And
the angel shook her head sadly and said, "Do You know what
You're doing? Large hands are clumsy. They can't manage diaper
pins, small buttons, rubber bands on pony tails or even remove
splinters caused by baseball bats."
God smiled and said, "I know, but they're large enough to
hold everything a small boy empties from his pockets at the end
of a dayyet small enough to cup a child's face."
Then
God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulders.
The angel nearly had a heart attack. "Boy, this is the end
of the week, all right," she clucked. "Do You realize
You just made a father without a lap? How is he going to pull
a child close to him without the kid falling between his legs?"
God smiled and said, "A mother needs a lap. A father needs
strong shoulders to pull a sled, balance a boy on a bicycle or
hold a sleepy head on the way home from the circus."
God
was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone
had ever seen when the angel could contain herself no longer.
"That's not fair. Do You honestly think those large boats
are going to dig out of bed early in the morning when the baby
cries? Or walk through a small birthday party without crushing
at least three of the guests?"
And God smiled and said, "They'll work. You'll see. They'll
support a small child who wants to "ride a horse to Banbury
Cross" or scare off mice at the summer cabin, or display
shoes that will be a challenge to fill."
God
worked throughout the night, giving the father few words, but
a firm authoritative voice; eyes that see everything, but remain
calm and tolerant.
Finally, almost as an afterthought, He added tears. Then He turned
to the angel and said, "Now are you satisfied that he can
love as much as a mother?"
And the angel shutteth up!
~ by Erma Bombeck ~
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