Yesterday's Tomorrow

Part 6

Kid entered the bunkhouse quietly, afraid to wake her up.  He found her sleeping on his bunk.  He never thought that he would see her again.  He tried to erase her from his mind, but he didn't succeed.  Now she was back, sleeping in front of him.  He wanted so much to touch her, to kiss her.  He tried to block these thoughts from his mind.  He knew that they were wrong, but he could not help himself. 

He knelt down beside his bunk, admiring the beautiful woman who was softly cuddling his pillow.  She looked lovelier than before.  She was indeed the most beautiful person he ever saw.  He kissed her softly on the forehead,, afraid that she would wake up.

"You don’t know how much I missed you.  You almost made me crazy, Lou," he whispered as he kissed her forehead again.

"Kid," she whispered his name, her brown eyes staring at his baby blues.  "I miss you so much."

"Where have you been?  Why did you go?" there was an apparent misery in his voice.

She explained to him why she left and how she lived with an old friend in St. Louis.  She never looked away from his eyes, and continuously searched his eyes for any sign of love or hidden affection; but all she found was a friend who truly cared about what happened to her.  She tried to ignore the sadness that lie in his eyes, thinking that he missed her just as much as the others did, not more.  The more that she looked into his eyes and the closer he was to her, the more nervous she became.  It was not a mystery that she was falling for him all over again; but a part of her knew that it was wrong for he was no longer hers.

But wasn't it him who said that I'd always have his love? she asked herself.  Didn't he make me promise to always remember his promise that I'll always be his love.  Or maybe we were just too young then and didn't really know what it means to love?  Maybe he's forgotten his promise…

"I'm sorry to wake you up.  You need your rest," Kid excused himself.

"Kid, please stay here for a while.  I wanna talk to you some more."  She felt as if he would disappear if he went away now.

"Lou, we'll talk when you wake up.  You look very tired," he said with a friendly smile.  She noticed that he did not seem to look at her the way he used to when she thought that he was in love with her.  "If you want we can go riding just like old times," he offered her.

Maybe even do a little dancin'? she wished sadly in her mind, knowing that it would never happen again.  I guess this is my fault.  I left without a word, and then I come back expecting things to be the way they were.  Well, he can't be mine forever, and now I've lost him to that Brenda witch. 

Kid went outside to join the guys whom he'd grown to love like his own brothers.  He could not help but notice the strange looks they were giving him, especially Cody who wore a ridiculous smirk in his face.  "What's your problem?  Stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like there's somethin' wrong with me."

"Lou's pretty, ain't she?" asked Cody to noone in particular.

"Like you're just noticing it now," Buck told him.  He always thought that Lou was beautiful then, even more now.

"I know she was pretty then, but look at her now!  If she wasn't such a good friend, I'd be hitting on her now," Cody said with a big grin on his face.  He saw Kid's jaw tensed up, and he loved making Kid feel uncomfortable, maybe even jealous.  "Ain't it too bad that you're engaged, Kid!"

"Shut up, Cody.  You don't have to remind him what he's missing out," Jimmy added, hoping that his best friend would wake up and see that he and Brenda did not belong together.

"Hey, I love Brenda, all right?" Kid defended his fiancee, but he sounded more like he was convincing himself.  "Just because Lou's here doesn't mean things are gonna change.  Lou can come and go, and it don't matter to me anymore.  I'm engaged, and I'm getting married soon.  I don't see what this fuss is about.  Things ain't gonna change between me and Brenda, all right?"

"Haven't they already changed?' Buck asked him as he fed the horses.  "You've been more energetic and even seem happier when you saw her today."

"What are you talking about?"

"Aw, c'mon, Kid.  We've known you for so long now.  Sometimes we can even figure out what you feel by just the way you act," Jimmy told him.  "Kid, listen to me.  She's back, and she's single.  You're engaged, but you ain't married.  I'm sure where your heart belongs.  You just gotta figure it out."

"Why don't you guys get to work and leave me alone?"  Kid hated being the center of the joke.  He knew that his friends only wanted the best for him.  "By the way, I won't be able to work this afternoon."

"Again?  Kid, you've been spending too much time with Brenda already!  You were practically with her all night last night, the other night and the night before!"

"Who said I'm taking Brenda out?  I'm taking Lou to a picnic if you don't mind."

Cody started laughing.  "I guess things are changing already."

Kid watched as Lou unbraided her long auburn hair.  He loved how her hair glistened in the sun.  He felt strange watching her as if he was committing a mortal sin.  He could picture Brenda's disapproving face in the back of his mind.  "So, Lou, who are you going to the dance with?"

She started laughing and threw an apple at him.  "Why are you asking me this?  I just got here yesterday.  I haven't really gotten around town.  I don't even know there's a town dance comin' up."

"So, who are you going with?"

"I don't know, Kid.  You'll be with Brenda, right?"

He nodded sadly. 

"What's wrong?  You don't seem so excited?"

He smiled and avoided looking in her lovely eyes, afraid that he would never be able to take his eyes off her if he did.  "Lou, we're really good friends, right?  I mean you trust me with your life, and you know that I'll do anything for you. . . like a true friend.  I want us to be able to talk the way we used to.  You know what I mean?  I don't want any secrets between us."

"Kid, you can tell me anything."

He smiled and stared at his boots for a moment as if hesitating to tell her the thoughts in his mind.  "Brenda's great and everything.  She's gonna be my wife, but it's just weird how sometimes I feel strange to be with her."

She moved closer to him and began carressing his hair.  "What do you mean?"

Kid grew intense at the realization that she was so close to him.  He could even reach a bit and kiss her on the lips.  "I don't know.  I like her, but sometimes I want to be away from her for a while.  It's kinda hard to explain it.  Sometimes I get annoyed with the little things she does or says like if we go out for dinner, and she always insists that I refer to her as 'my fiancee' at all times.  It's like she wants the whole world to know that she's 'my fiancee.'"

Lou laughed and said, "Kid, if you love her, you should be proud to tell the whole world who she is to you.  Maybe you're having doubts.  Maybe you're just nervous.  Don't worry.  When you're married, these things will be silly to you."

Kid turned to look at her for the first time that afternoon in the open field.  For a moment he forgot about his worries and fears as if she was angel sent from heaven to ease his troubled mind.  If I only you'd be mine, Lou, he thought sadly, believing that it was too late for a change of heart.

The guys were playing cards later that night in the bunkhouse.  Lou turned to face the wall, annoyed at the boisterous riders.  "Will you keep it down, Cody?  When are you leaving, Jimmy, Buck?  Aren't your wives waiting for you outside?"

"Aw, relax, Lou, we'll leave in a couple of hours," Jimmy told her.  "It ain't often that we get a chance to play.  Hey, this is like old times."

"Yeah, except this is better!" cried Cody.  "I'm finally winning!"

"Nope, you're just getting better at cheating," Buck told him. 

There was a soft knock on the door.

"Hey, Kid, you mind getting that since you ain't doing anything but reading a book?"

"Get it, Jimmy, you're closer to the door."

Jimmy rose from the table and was almost tripped by one of Cody's pair of boots.  "Hi, Brenda.  Can I help you with something?"

"Hello, Jimmy.  I came to see Kid."

Lou felt her body tensed up at the voice of that woman.

Jimmy slightly opened the door for her, giving her enough space to view Kid from the door.  "There, you've seen him. Now you can go."

Kid got up from his bunk.  "Cut it out, Jimmy.  C'mon in, Brenda."  He gave her a tender hug.

Lou peeked at the two lovers jealously from her blanket.  She did not want to, but she couldn't help it.  She hated how Brenda was so close to Kid, how his arms enfolded her tiny waist.

"I miss you, honey," she whispered loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. 

"I miss you too."

"I don't," Cody whispered to the two riders before Buck threw some cards at his face.

Lou could see Cody peeking a nervous glance at her and then back at the couple.  She almost threw up at the sight of Kid and Brrenda making out right in front of the boys.  She couldn't believe that Kid had the nerves to do that stuff in front of everyone.  I guess he's really changed, she thought, remembering how he used to be so shy about that kind of stuff before.

Buck caught Lou peeking at the lovers and said sharply,  "Kid, Brenda, can you two please take it outside?  We want to concentrate on our game."

Brenda eyed him disapprovingly.  "C'mon, darling.  Let's go for a ride."

"Ain't it too late?" asked Jimmy.  "It's almost midnight."

"Mind your own business, Hickock!" Brenda told him angrily.

"Let's go outside, Brenda," Kid said as he hurriedly opened the door for her.

Cody stuck his tongue out at Brenda as she walked out the door.  "God, I hate her!  I really hate her!  And this ain't the kind of hate that will go away.  This is the kinda hate that will hunt me for as long as she's around!"

"Cody, I don't see what the fuss is about.  She didn't do anything to you," Lou told him.

"Do you see the way she looks at me, Lou?  She looks at me like I'm an idiot!  Well, she's an idiot!  If Kid marries her, I'd kill myself."

"Do you think she's pretty?"

"It's hard to answer that, Lou.  We hate her so much that we don't really see her face," Buck told her.  "She might be if we don't hate her so much, but we do so it's hard to tell."

"Don't worry.  You're prettier than her," Cody reassured her.  "If Jimmy was a girl, hell, he'd even be better looking than her!"

"Hey what does that supposed to mean, Cody!  Are you saying that I'm not pretty enough to be a girl?"

Cody laughed nervously and said, "Well, maybe if your jaw ain't a little too square-"

"Are you saying I have a big jaw?" Jimmy said, his voice rising steadily in anger.

Buck shook his head and said to himself, "I can't believe you guys are even arguing about this!"

The sun shone brightly in the hot summer day.  The riders had been working for hours at the ranch.  Lou decided to take a break.  She couldn't stand the heat any longer.  "Boys, I'm just gonna cool off for a while.  Another minute under the sun and I'd fry myself!"

"Take a break, Lou.  You work too hard anyway," Jimmy told her.

"A lady like you shouldn't be working so hard.  It ain't right," Cody said.  "You should be home like the rest of the women, trying on clothes and maybe cookin?"

"Cody, if you think I'm gonna start cookin', you can starve!"

"Hey, it wouldn't hurt to learn one of these days!"

"Cody, since you like eating so much, why don't you learn to cook for yourself?" Buck said.

"I know how, all right?" he defended himself.  "I was just never given a chance to prove myself!"

Lou walked away from the guys' silly argument and headed to the shower just outside the station.  She was so tired that she did not even notice that someone was there until she opened the door and found Kid naked in front of her.  Her eyes grew wide, her knees felt weak.  She felt like she was melting in the heat of the moment.

"Lou, will you kindly get out of here!" Kid told her as he hurriedly wrapped the towel around his waist.  "Go on!  Get out of here!"

Lou did not even hear a word he said.  She was mesmerized by the handsome sight.  It reminded her of the old days, especially of one particular day when she walked in on Kid taking a shower.  She stood there watching him intently, wondering what he would do to get her to leave.

"Lou, please go.  C'mon, if you need to use the shower, I'll be done in a minute," he pleaded.

Suddenly out of nowhere, Brenda's high-pitched Southern drawl broke the silence.  "Kid!  Where are you, honey!  I need to talk to ya!  The boys said you were here somewhere!"

Without a moment of hesitation, Kid pulled Lou in the shower and shut the wooden door frame behind her.  He signaled for her to be quiet.  "I'm taking a shower, Brenda.  I'll be out in a minute."

They heard Brenda's footsteps approached the shower. 

Lou trembled nervously as Kid held her close to him.  Please, don't open the door, she prayed.  This is my fault.  I should have left when I had the chance.  On the other hand, she was thankful that Brenda came for she loved being against Kid's chest.

"Kid, are you gonna take long?"

Kid sighed and looked at Lou as he shook his head.  "Brenda, go home. I'll come to your place as soon as I finish the ranch work, okay?"

"But I miss you.  I want to see you now."

Lou rolled her eyes.  That high-pitched, whiny voice was really irritating her.

"Honey, I'll see you in a couple of hours, all right?"

"Okay, Kid.  I'll be waiting."

As they heard her leave, Kid let go of his hold on Lou.  Lou almost wished that Brenda stayed longer so that Kid would still hold her. 

"Lou, don't do that again," he told her as he wiped her face with his hands.  "Look at you!  I got you all wet."

She smiled, loving every moment that his hand brushed against her cheeks.  "I'm sorry, Kid."

"Well, go and change your clothes.  I got your clothes wet."

"It's okay.  They'll dry under the sun."  As she started to leave, she looked back at him and said, "Why do you cover yourself, Kid?  It ain't like I've never seen you without clothes before."

He smiled and said, "Well, 'cause it's only proper that I do.  Look at you.  Why do your wear clothes?  It ain't like I've never seen you without them before either."

"Because it ain't proper 'cause you're getting married soon," she said, shutting the door behind her. "Maybe if you ain't, they wouldn't be so necessary all the time."

He shook his head and chuckled to himself, thinking how lovely she was.  He almost ran out the door with only a towel to lay a kiss on her lips.

The boys turned to Lou as she walked back to the house.

"Well, what happened to you?" Jimmy asked her as he fixed the fence.

Kid immediately followed after her; his hair was wet. 

Cody laughed crazily.  "Oh, I get it.  Something happened, didn't it?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Kid, don't try to lie.  I can tell what's up between you two.  I mean ain't it obvious?  You came from the shower.  She's wet; her clothes are wet. You're both wet.  It doesn't take a genius to figure this out."

Lou turned to him and said, "Cody, it only takes an idiot with a dirty mind to come up with whatever you're thinking."

"No, Lou, it takes a genius with a creative spirit to correctly guess what just happened between you two."

"By the way, Brenda came here lookin' for you," Jimmy told him.  "I don't know what whiskey she's been drinkin', but she came here wearing a tiny blouse with a very low v-neck line showing her stomach."

"I think she forgot to dress 'cause she was hurrying to see you," Cody kidded.

Kid sighed, getting tired of the teasing and fooling around.  "I know she was here.  I'm comin' to her place after I get my work done here."

"Well, Kid, you can kiss her place goodbye 'cause you have too much work to do to last you all night," Cody told him.

Kid grumbled as he began fixing the fence.

Lou suddenly felt sorry at the handsome lad who appeared to be disappointed at the news of not seeing his fiancee for the day.  "I got nothing to do.  I can do his work today."

"Lou, it's okay.  You don't have to," Kid told her. 

"No, really.  I want to.  I've been sitting around all the time.  I wanna get some of my muscles back."

Jimmy shook his head.  "Lou, honey, you're already in an incredible shape.  You don't need to have any muscles.  You're fine just the way you are."

"He's right, Lou," Kid told her.  "You shouldn't even be out here in the first place.  You should be inside the house with the ladies."

"Yeah, you should be having coffee and cooking with Rachel, Rose Mary and Glory, not here with us," Cody agreed.

Her face turned red in anger.  "Fine.  I'm offering my help around here, and you snob me like I'm not good enough to do your work."

"Lou, it ain't 'cause you ain't good enough to help.  The truth is you're too good to help us.  You're a woman, Lou.  Act like one. Put a dress on.  Fix your hair.  Gossip around.  Find a man," Kid told her.

She glared at him, trying to keep herself from crying in anger.  "Stop mothering me, Kid!"  She headed to the bunkhouse furiously and lie on Kid's bunk.  She began to cry, angry at the treatment she received from her closest friends.  She hated how Kid was being so protective and how he was suggesting for her to be more womanlike, but she liked it in a strange way for it reminded her of old times.  She cried for a while before falling asleep with Kid's pillow softly pressed against her chest.

Kid stood uncomfortably before the woman whom he knew dearly loved him; one could even say a little too much.  It was a beautiful evening, perfect to spend with the person he loved.  For some reason, he knew he should be happy to see Brenda, but being with her only made him wish he could go back inside the bunkhouse and join the other riders with the card game.

"Well?" Brenda asked him angrily.  "Where were you this afternoon?  Don't you have anything to say to me?  Hmmm?"

He struggled to find the right words to calm her down.  "I had work to do in the ranch."

There was rage in her big blue eyes.  He used to think they were truly beautiful until he saw Lou's eyes again; he was reminded of how lovely Lou's eyes were, how much he loved drowning into them, losing himself because of them. 

"Kid?  Are you even listening to me?"

"Brenda, I'm telling the truth.  All afternoon, I was working."

"That's it?  That's all you have to say to me?  Goddammit, Kid, I was waiting for you all afternoon.  I didn't even get to go shopping or visit my cousin who just arrived today.  And you wanna know why?  Because I was waiting for you all day today!  That's why!"

Kid sighed; all the fussing and fighting were upsetting him.  He was tired of explaining himself.  "Look, if I had time, I would have gone."

"Well what about after work, huh?" she asked with her eyebrow raised.  "What were you doing then?"

"I just finished workin' an hour ago.  I had to get something for Rachel.  I was gonna come see you after that, but you were already here."

She slapped him hard across the face.  He was so surprised at her reaction for he did not think it was such a big deal to her to see him that afternoon.  "Liar!  You weren't coming to see me!"

With his hand still on his reddening cheek, he said, "I was too.  If you don’t believe then I can't do anything more.  I'm sorry."

Brenda began to cry.  She sobbed gently at first, but later turned hysterical.  "It's because of that worman, huh, Kid?  What does she mean to you anyway?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Lou!  Who else could I be talking about?  Why, Kid, are there others I should be worried about?"

"Brenda, why don't you go home and get some rest?  We're both upset right now.  We need some time to cool off before we can talk again and make some sense out of this mess, all right?"

"Oh, God!" Brenda cried intensely as she bit her lower lip.  "You don't love me anymore.  I knew it."

Kid shook his head, exasperated at her senselessness.  "Brenda, I'll take you home.  C'mon.  Let's not fight anymore."  He tried to put his arm around her, but she pushed him away.

"Just don't touch me, okay?  Why don't you go back to that little bitch in the bunkhouse?"

Kid felt his jaw tightened.  "Don't you ever call her that, Brenda!" he told her angrily in a low tone.  "She is a friend of mine, and you have no right to call her anything!  I will let this one go because I know you're upset, but trust me, next time you say that, it will be over between us.  Remember that."  He walked away hurriedly, afraid at what else he might say, and left her crying outside.

Part 7