STANDING
BETWEEN LOVE AND BETRAYAL
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Riding in the buckboard home, Jane lightly leans
into Cody pretending to need rest more than conversation. She thinks back to
this evening's heart wrenching events. Jane had noticed in her state of weakness
that it took Buck all but three seconds to grab Charlene, and whisk her out
the front door of the social hall after Cody had announced her acceptance of
his marriage proposal to the entire town of Rock Creek. She had never intended
for their lives to be this twisted, and filled with so much utter torment.
Jane thinks back to the romantic evening she had
spent with Buck in the cave. Everything had been so perfect between her and
Buck that night. She allowed herself to love him, and Buck certainly loved her
back. But, in the morning after all the candles had burnt out, after light replaced
the moonlight something changed between them. That something was riding back
onto the ranch and the scorn, animosity, and mistrust that she could see in
Cody's eyes. He really looked down on her that morning. In his heart Cody knew
that she had spent the night before loving Buck. He never really said a word.
Cody never asked what had happened between her and Buck. But, Jane knew at that
instance that she had already hurt Buck, and that she couldn't hurt Cody too.
Now, two months later she is willing to allow Cody to marry her, and raise Buck's
child. Jane clinches her abdomen tightly. Thinking to herself, Jane vows that
someday she'll make things right between father and child. She makes this promise
to her unborn baby.
Rachel walks through the front door of her and Teaspoon's
house jumping slightly after Teaspoon walks through and abruptly slams the door
causing the entire house to shake and creak. Rachel lights kerosene lantern
and places it on the dining room table while Teaspoon paces back and forth before
her.
"You're wearing a hole in the floor isn't going
to change the fact that Jane has promised to marry Cody," Rachel spoke
softly trying to calm her husband down.
Teaspoon stops and looks at Rachel. "I can't
believe what is going on around here. How can Jane promise to marry Cody when
it is obvious that she loves Buck?"
"Teaspoon, you're barking up the wrong tree.
When it comes to love, and the foolish things that people will do for love,
no one really knows what a person is thinking or feeling for another."
"What kind of nonsense is that?" Teaspoon
asked bluntly.
"That kind of nonsense is called love. Teaspoon,
you can't say for sure that Jane doesn't have feelings for Cody."
"There has to be something else driving that
woman to marry Cody and turn away the love that she feels for Buck."
Rachel places a reassuring kiss on her husband's
lips. She looks into his eyes. "If there is something going on with Jane
other than blind love for Cody, it isn't likely any of us will ever discover
the truth. I think what we all need to do is to stop meddling in Jane's life."
"I'm going up to bed. You coming up too?"
Teaspoon asked disheartened over a situation he can't fix.
"I'll be up shortly. I have something I need
to do in the kitchen first," Rachel spoke softly.
Teaspoon gives Rachel a kiss, and then Rachel watches
as Teaspoon concedes to a battle that he surely can't win, and walks quietly
up the stairs to their bedroom.
"I just can't believe what Jane is putting
Buck through. When she looks at him, and let me tell you Lou, Jane looks at
Buck a lot more than she looks at Cody, she must be able to see how much everything
she is doing is damn near killing him!" Kid spoke shouting as he engages
the stairs with Lou right in front of him.
The two enter their bedroom. Kid lights a lamp,
and begins to get ready for bed.
"I mean you're a woman Lou. How can a woman
love two men at the same time? Does Jane really love Cody, or is this just some
kind of game she's playing to see how much she can break Buck's heart?"
"Shouting so that the entire town of Rock Creek
can hear you isn't going to give you the answers that you're looking for."
"I'm sorry. But, I would really like some answers.
I see the way Jane looks at Buck whenever his eyes are turned away from her.
There are feelings of love for Buck when Jane looks at him."
"I know there are. I see the love for Buck
in her eyes also, but there are also secrets and fears hiding in Jane's eyes,"
Lou spoke just above a whisper.
"Secrets? Fears? What kind of secrets and fears?"
Kid spoke loudly.
Lou slips on a silky nightdress, and walks over
to her side of the bed that she shares with her husband. "There are plenty
of things going on in Jane's life that none of us are aware of. As a matter-of-fact
I'm willing to bet that Cody may be the only person who could actually shed
some light on to the reason why Jane is so eager to marry him."
"Cody isn't going to tell any of us a thing
about any secrets that Jane is keeping," Kid spoke as he climbs into bed.
Lou settles into her side of the bed next to Kid.
She gazes at her husband who is lying on his back at the moment.
"What about being in love with two men at the
same time? Women can't really have intense feelings of love for two men at the
same time can they?" Kid asked calmly.
As Lou is about to answer Kid's question, he places
a kiss on her cheek, and then proceeds to get comfortable by turning onto his
side, and facing away from Lou.
Lou is somewhat stunned by Kid's actions. "I
think it is possible to be in love deeply with one man, but have some thoughts
about another at the same time. In Jane's case I believe she has intense feelings
of love for Buck, and I think Cody is just an excuse to not feel those intense
feelings for Buck."
"But why?"
"Maybe Jane is afraid of getting hurt. Her
intense feelings for Buck make her feel alive, and uninhabited. Her feeling's
for Cody simply slows down her feelings for Buck. Cody gives Jane a sense of
security."
"Buck can give Jane security. He owns half
this ranch. Buck has a home large enough to support half a dozen children. What
other kind of security could she need?" Kid asked confused.
"Yes, I agree. Buck can give Jane security
with a home to live in, food on the table, and the fact that he works hard.
It is the powerful passion between the two of them that scares Jane away from
Buck."
"Why?" Kid asked with a yawn.
"Because Jane would be devastated if she ever
lost Buck," Lou spoke as she glances at her husband who is sound asleep
beside her. "Just as I could never bare losing you," Lou spoke as
she wiggles down next to Kid and puts her arm lovingly around him.
Jimmy and Hannah walk onto the front porch of the
home that she shares with her parents, and at one time two siblings. Hannah
turns and faces Jimmy for one last time. She takes Jimmy's hand into her hand,
and squeezes tightly as if never wanting to let him go.
"Cody and Jane certainly shocked your entire
family including you tonight with their unexpected wedding announcement,"
Hannah spoke softly.
"I mostly was in shock because I just figured
it would be Jane and Buck getting married someday," Jimmy spoke somberly.
"We have come a long way since we first met."
"Yes, we have."
Hannah pauses for a moment trying desperately to
gather her final thoughts on her brief, but fierce relationship with a man that
will always have her heart. "I don't want you to be their tomorrow when
the stage arrives to take Phillip and I to the train station. Tonight will be
good-bye for us. It will be easier for both of us this way."
"I hope good-bye isn't all that is left of
us Hannah. I hope that you will always hold the thought that we can have a long,
and happy life together," Jimmy spoke adamantly.
"You will stay in my heart forever. That is
all I can give you. I don't want you to spend your life pining away for me with
the hope that someday I will return to you. I want you to live the life that
you are meant to live James Hickok. Do this for me. Do this for you," Hannah
spoke tears flowing from her eyes.
Jimmy softly wipes the tears from Hannah's cheeks.
"I can promise you that I won't pine away waiting for your return, but
I can't promise that I won't think about you everyday for the rest of our lives."
Hannah reaches over, and teases Jimmy with one last
deep kiss. The two share a passionate embrace, but Hannah soon pulls away not
wishing to make their departing any more difficult on either one of them than
it already is.
"You need to go now," Hannah whispered
softly.
Without saying another word, or looking back on
the woman he truly loves, Jimmy rides off the Anderson Ranch with no regrets
of ever meeting, or falling in love with Miss Hannah Anderson.
Hannah stands quietly on the front porch watching
Jimmy ride off her parent's ranch. "Have a good life sweetheart. Good-bye
my love," Hannah spoke quietly as she throws a kiss into the evening breeze.
Buck reaches his hands around Charlene, and pulls
her full force onto his body! Charlene quickly tries to unleash the passion
in Buck by running her hands up and down his manhood! She figures tonight is
the best opportunity that she'll ever have to get Buck into bed!
The sofa that they are wrestling on suddenly becomes
too small and confined when Charlene tries desperately to untangle her body
from the many layers of clothing that she has on! The sudden uneasy movements
that Charlene makes cause Buck to realize that he is on the sofa with Charlene
and not Jane.
Cody's announcement that Jane had accepted his marriage
proposal had dug deeply into Buck's heart. The announcement took the breath
out of Buck's body, and left him pretty much defensive less to ward off any
passionate thoughts of Jane. The moment he and Charlene entered his home thoughts
of making love to Jane, and believing that they were actually the ones getting
married flooded his mind so rapidly that he couldn't help the sudden urgency
to make love to Jane. His mind filled up so quickly with the scent of Jane,
the touch of Jane, and the feel of Jane that Charlene became Jane!
Buck upon comprehending what his mind, and body
are doing quickly stumbles off the sofa, and into a standing position. He leaves
Charlene breathless in a heap of clothing on the sofa.
"I'm sorry Charlene. I can't believe I'm doing
this," Buck spoke his voice cracking with emotion.
Charlene pulls all her clothing to one side, and
slowly forces her legs to stand. "Why can't you let thoughts of Jane go?
She's never coming back to you!"
"I don't mean to constantly make you think
that we have a chance at a future. It would be best for both of us if you were
to move out of this house. It can't be good for either of us to be subjected
to my persistent haunting feelings of Jane," Buck spoke honestly.
"I can't accept the fact that you can't get
over Jane. I could make you forget about her if you would just give me a chance,"
Charlene spoke with anger that Buck always has Jane on his mind, and in his
heart.
"It would be best if you just made plans to
move out Charlene," Buck spoke adamantly as he proceeds toward the stairs.
Jane stands at the open door of the Hunter house,
and watches as Cody walks over to the bunkhouse. "Good-night Cody."
She closes the door tightly, and turns around to
come face to face with Rachel. Jane clutches her hands across her chest. "Good
lord Rachel, you frightened me."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you.
I only wanted to make sure that we got that chance to talk before you went on
up to bed for the night," Rachel spoke quietly.
"I guess we haven't had a chance to have that
woman to woman chat that you've been wanting to have with me since Thanksgiving
Day."
"You seem a little tense to be talking with
me Jane. I'm only looking out for your best interests. If something is wrong,
or bothering you than I want you to know that you can talk to me about it."
"Rachel, every woman has problems or concerns
about things when she goes through them for the very first time."
"Like sex with a man?" Rachel asked knowingly.
Jane nods her head positively. "Making love
to a man can be the most wonderful feeling in a woman's life, but it can also
leave you feeling pretty miserable about the episode."
"Are we talking about Buck or Cody?" Rachel
asked calmly.
"I guess I am referring to both Buck and Cody,"
Jane spoke unsure of how she is going to convince Rachel that the baby she is
carrying actually belongs to Cody, and not Buck.
"My guess is that Buck was your first, and
that making love with him bought you to heights that you never imagined before.
I'm also guessing that making love with Cody is flat in comparison," Rachel
spoke with the ease of a mother talking to her daughter.
"When I made love to Buck I felt like a woman
possessed with pent up passion. I was sure that that passion would disappear
after the first time, but it didn't. Now that we have parted, I can't seem to
acquire that same amount of passion with Cody. Does that mean that there is
something wrong with me?"
Rachel admires Jane's honesty concerning the two
different men in her life. "It doesn't mean that there is something wrong
with you. What it does mean is that your feelings are not the same for Cody
as they are for Buck. I truly believe that you need to explore closely the feelings
that you have for each man before you totally commit to a life with Cody."
"I have already committed my life to be with
Cody. I'm pregnant Rachel," Jane spoke flatly as she watches closely for
a surprised reaction from Rachel, but no shocked reaction happens. "You
don't seem too surprised by my sudden baby announcement."
"I have suspected for quite some time now.
Your sudden bouts with nausea gave your pregnancy away," Rachel spoke with
a soft smile.
The tension and nervousness in Jane's body suddenly
leaves her, and she lets out a deep breath. "I have been so afraid to tell
any of you that I am pregnant. I assumed you would all think terribly bad of
me."
"The question is, is Cody really the father
of the baby you're carrying, or is Cody taking the place of the natural father
so that Buck never has to know the truth?"
Jane is stunned by Rachel's question. She hadn't
prepared herself to have to answer a question concerning the parentage of her
baby. She simply assumed that her new family would believe that Cody is the
father without asking any questions. Now Rachel is asking the question that
she must lie to. She can never tell anyone the truth concerning the natural
father of her baby. Even Rachel would not respect her wishes that Buck never
be told the truth.
"Because you are not answering my question,
I will assume that Buck is really the father of your baby," Rachel spoke
calmly.
"No Rachel!"
Rachel is taken back by Jane's demanding tone that
she not think what she would like to believe. "Don't you think you owe
it to Buck to tell him the truth?"
Jane calms down before she ends up giving the secret
away that she
is trying so hard to protect. "Rachel, the baby is not Buck's. Cody is
honestly the father of this baby that I'm carrying."
"I have to admit I'm surprised that Cody is
the father. I actually thought that perhaps you and Cody hadn't consummated
your unique relationship yet."
"I don't want to disappoint any of you, but
to make this news easier for Buck, Cody and I will get married here in Rock
Creek, and then we will leave Rock Creek for good. We will make our home far
away from Rock Creek. "
"I see. I suppose it would be asking too much
for the two of you to reconsider, and stay in Rock Creek until after the baby
is born. It would be better for your health and the baby's that you don't travel
too much right now."
"Rachel, that is why Cody and I will be getting
married rather quickly. We need to be on our way to our new home before the
hardest part of winter settles in to stay."
"Then I guess I should start the preparations
for your wedding," Rachel commented disheartened.
Jane starts toward the stairs, but she does stop
by Rachel, and kisses her lightly on the cheek. "Thank-you for everything
you've done for me Rachel. I'll never be able to repay how you took me into
your home, and watched over me like a daughter."
"You don't have to repay me for anything Jane.
I enjoyed having you here. I hate to see you leave."
"Good-night Rachel," Jane spoke softly
as she makes her way up the stairs to her bedroom.
Rachel quietly sits down in a chair wondering how
Jane's news of a baby will affect Buck's already broken heart.
In the deep sleep of the night Charlene finds herself
unable to breath. She gasps for breath after breath until her lungs are about
to explode, and she awakens from her sleep. She finds the presence of a man
in her bedroom covering her mouth with his hand.
Jesse motions for Charlene to be quiet as he slowly
removes his hand from her mouth.
"How did you get in this house without Buck
awaking up?"
"You're precious boyfriend has gone for a ride.
I've been waiting to see you for a few hours. I knew eventually his anxiety
over Cody's announcement of marriage to Jane would be more than Buck Cross could
handle."
"What do you want Jesse?"
"Have you forgotten the next phase of our plan
so quickly?"
"No. I just don't need Buck finding out that
I've been working with you all along. He would surely kick me out of this house,
and his life for good."
"The next part of our plan will be carried
out on their wedding day. You know what you're suppose to do," Jesse spoke
as he exits Charlene's bedroom from her bedroom window."
Charlene suddenly hears the gallop of a horse getting
closer to the ranch. Buck must be returning home to her.
NEXT
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