MORNING GLORY
by HBK © 2002
After a few days of hard riding under the heat, Kid was happy to be home. It even surprised him how he considered Rock Creek to be his home now. Perhaps it was because it was not really the place that made something home but the people who stayed there.
He dismounted from Katy, patting the horse as he made his way to the water basin. Feeling refreshed, he made his way to the bunkhouse to take a short nap. He was surprised to see Cody in the bunkhouse.
"Hey there, lover boy," Cody greeted him with his familiar grin.
"Lover boy?" Kid questioned, half-smiling. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Well, it seems to me that you have two women waiting for your return."
"What are you talking about?"
"Louise and Samantha. Who else?"
Kid ignored Cody and lie on his bunk. "Cody, the problem with you is you always draw conclusions without evidence."
"Without evidence?" Cody asked as if he was insulted. "Kid, the evidence is around us like the sun, the moon and the stars. What more do you want?"
"Cody, nothing's going on," he said exhaustedly.
"Is it because of the lack of commitment?"
"Cody, I'm not really in the mood for this right now."
"Kid, you are never in the mood! Do you need help making up your mind?"
"Cody, I'd like to be alone."
"Kid, you've been practically alone for almost four days! How much time alone do you need?"
Kid turned his back to Cody.
"Kid, I've got an idea. Let's see and compare. Looks? Lou or Samantha? Pick one?"
Kid remained quiet, falling halfway to unconsciousness.
"Fine, I'll pick for you." Cody thought real hard for a minute but was unable to choose. "I don't know, Kid. Both are beautiful in their own way. What do you think? Kid?"
Lou walked cautiously in the back of the saloon. She knew that Boggs was not there at that time of the day, but she didn't want to take any chances. Jesse was busy changing the curtains in several rooms.
Charlotte, where are you? Lou glanced nervously around her. She didn't want any girls from the saloon to see her. She could see Jesse from the second floor. She threw a tiny stone to get his attention.
"Louise? What are you doing here?" Jesse cried.
"Shhh," she said, gesturing for him to be quiet. "I'm here to see Charlotte."
"What?"
"Charlotte. I came to see her," she repeated.
"I can't hear you."
Lou sighed, frustrated with Jesse's lack of hearing. "Where's Charlotte?"
"Charlotte?"
Lou nodded.
"She's not here."
"Where is she?" Lou asked, glancing around uneasily, hoping no one was watching. "She went out on a date?"
Jesse nodded, still holding the curtain rod.
Lou sighed, sad to discover Charlotte was not around. She waved bye to Jesse and quickly left the place that held more bad memories than good. She spotted Charlotte with a man who looked like a gentleman inside a restaurant. This certainly was not the time to talk with Charlotte so she decided to return to the station.
"Louise!"
She turned around to see Kid in front of the marshal's office. She ran to him, obviously happy to see him back. "Hey, when did you get back?"
"A few hours ago," he said softly. He pulled her into a hug, not caring at all who witnessed the affection between them. "How have you been? Everything all right?"
She nodded against his chest, loving to hear his heartbeat. "We've missed you around here."
"What are you up to?"
She smiled at him. "I wanted to see Charlotte, but she's out on a date. I guess right now is not a good time."
"Is now a good time for that race you promised me?" he reminded her with a mischievous grin.
"Kid, you just got back from your ride. You're probably dead tired. I don't think it's a good idea." Lou was kind of surprised at her attitude toward him. When did I start caring? she wondered.
"I'm not tired. I just took a rather long nap."
"Will you ever get tired of riding?" she said, almost scolding him for his lack of concern for himself.
"For you, never," he replied, looking directly into her eyes.
She looked away. "I think you need more rest."
He followed after her. "Okay, fine, if you don't wanna race, we can just go out on a ride. How about that?"
"Kid, it's you I'm worried about. You've been gone for a few days. If I ride for four days, I'd probably be in bed right now."
"I'm used to riding," he told her. "C'mon, let's ride."
"Are you sure it won't bother you?"
"It's no bother at all," he said.
They rode their horses in the plains, enjoying the wind against their faces. After an hour of riding, they took a break by the water hole.
"You're amazing," he complimented, still in awe of the beautiful woman across from him.
"In what way?" she asked, not quite believing a word he said.
"In many ways. First of all, you're real good with horses. Where did you learn to ride like that?"
"I don't know. I've been riding since I can remember."
He sat next to her on the stump, pulling her into his embrace. He had a pretty good idea of her dark past ever since her mother's death. He was quite aware of her distant, distrustful nature. After all, who could blame her? Her father had physically and emotionally scarred her, and it was amazing how she remained beautiful and managed to hold on to her sense of dignity, pride, and strength.
"You know, I've never been this close to anyone," she told him, referring to the physical closeness they shared. "I'm not used to being so vulnerable."
Lou felt as if she was slowly melting in his arms. She feared that the moment would end, and everything she imagined between them would be gone. She did not want to believe her feelings for him. Maybe if she didn't admit them to herself, it wouldn't hurt so much when he decided to leave her.
He gazed at her and could not control himself any longer. For so many nights, he dreamt of those sweet lips and wondered how soft they would feel against his own. He lowered his head and kissed her softly. The taste of her was gratifying, and he wanted more. He had been with many women in his young life, but she was incomparable to any of the women in his experience.
Perhaps it was her innocence and delicacy that attracted him. Perhaps it was more. There was something about her that he could not readily point out, but he knew he felt deep feelings for her that he never did before. He deepened his kiss, tasting her sweetness, pleasing his senses. The intensity and passion of the kiss she returned erased the doubts in his mind. He could tell that she wanted this as much as he did.
His mouth moved expertly against hers. She knew little about these kinds of things although she was often exposed to the steamy visuals in her life at the saloon. She could not think about anything but him. All she knew at the moment was how much she wanted and enjoyed his touch, his burning passion, his tender kisses.
He wanted to take her as his own at the very moment but decided against it. It was wrong to take advantage of the moment. Even if she had initiated the move, even if he had her full consent and upon her request, he would not and could not do such a thing to disgrace her. First of all, they were not married. He was not even sure if they were even together although the attraction between them was definitely strong.
After long moments of passionate kisses, Kid pulled himself from her. He was slowly losing control of himself and was unsure if he could hold back anymore. It was better to end it now before both of them got too carried away.
She lowered her head, feeling somewhat ashamed of herself. Did he find something wrong with me? Does he regret it? How can I be so stupid to put myself in this position! How many times has Charlotte warned me about men?
"Lou, I'm sorry," he said softly. "I didn't mean anything by my actions."
She nodded although she felt quite upset with him. "Listen, Kid, I hope that doesn't happen again. I don't like being used and taken advantage of."
Kid was taken back. He actually took the initiative to end what might have led to greater pleasure and trouble for both of them, and she was mad at him! She should be thanking him for not letting them get carried away. "Lou, I was not using you or taking advantage of you!"
"I find that hard to believe," she said rising from the stump to get away from him. "If you weren't taking advantage of me, what was that all about?"
"If I was taking advantage of you, I wouldn't have stopped until I satisfy my needs."
She stood her ground, looking at him face to face. "Oh, so you're not satisfied? I guess I'm not woman enough for you."
"Lou, that's not what I meant. Other men would have done something else, something worse. Listen, I care about you. I really do, and I can't disgrace you like that. You deserve better. I'm sorry if my action misled you."
She stared into his eyes, seeing the sincerity and honesty of his words. "Apology accepted," she said softly, walking away from him. "I need time to think about this," she said, confused about her feelings for him. He felt so right in a world that felt so wrong. She was not used to letting her guard down. She knew it was not his fault at all, but there were still too many things about life that frightened her, and love was certainly one of them.
"Oh, honey, there's nothing wrong with that," Rachel assured her after hearing her story. "It's natural to feel that way. It's part of being human."
Lou sat on the porch of Rachel's house that was now her home. Although she was welcomed and embraced, there was still a part of her that remained aching. Perhaps it was from the fact that her father did not even ask about her whereabouts or show any concern for her. "I don't know why I feel so guilty. It feels like I shouldn't have done it, like I always put myself in stupid places."
"Louise, Kid is a good man. I'm sure he only had your best interests in mind. There's nothing wrong with you. You're young. Enjoy what you have."
"I guess I owe Kid an apology. He probably thinks I overreacted."
"You have nothing to apologize. He understands," Rachel comforted her.
"Louise, what did I tell you about these things?" Charlotte asked her. Her frown was a clear indication of her anger. "Didn't I warn you?"
Lou nodded, feeling her spirits brought down each time Charlotte voiced her disapproval. "Charlotte, he's really wonderful. You haven't met him yet. That's why you're angry."
Charlotte paced around her room that was located in the sleeping quarters of the other working women of the saloon. "Louise, I hope I never see him. I swear I'll kill him."
Lou smiled, thinking how funny it was that Charlotte wanted to kill Kid, a person she had not seen, someone who had done nothing but showed his concern for Lou while Charlotte had never said anything of that kind about Boggs who was a devil compared to Kid.
"Louise, be careful. You don't know what men are capable of. Please come back here. You're safer here."
"Charlotte, I wouldn't exactly say that it's safer here. After leaving, I find more peace. I feel happier, better, more appreciated. I finally get the chance to be around my peers. People who do care."
"You're constantly around men, Lou," she said fearfully. "Please be careful."
"You have nothing to worry about. They're nice and funny. They're like my own brothers. Teaspoon's like a father figure. I feel like I belong, like for once in my life, I matter to somebody."
"Lou, you always matter to me," Charlotte reminded her. "And you call them your brothers? I heard that gunfighter fellow works for the Express."
Lou laughed. "You mean Jimmy? He's nice, Charlotte. You've been hearing too many rumors about the Pony Express. Everyone there is a gentleman. You totally have the wrong idea about them."
"I'm sure they're decent, Louise, but you still need to be careful. Don't be too comfortable. Men always have a way of making you feel special so they can use you for their own advantage. Take care, sweetheart."
Lou returned the hug, feeling more confused than ever. She did not know if she should listen to Charlotte or Rachel. Rachel seemed more rational, but Charlotte's concern was justified. She left the saloon, wishing Charlotte could come with her.
"Louise, wait for me!" Jesse called after her.
"Are you done working?" she asked him.
"Yeah, I was waiting for you."
Lou smiled at the young Jesse James. She knew it was only a matter of years before girls would start drooling over him. "So what are you up to?"
"Nothing."
"Jesse, I've got something to ask you. You don't have to answer it if you don't want to, all right?'
He nodded.
"If a girl accuses you of a terrible thing that greatly offends you, what would it take for you to forgive her?"
Jesse frowned. He wanted to answer her question only if he knew how. "I don't know, Lou. What kinda terrible thing?"
Lou thought hard for a moment, trying to come up with something that would not give away her predicament. "Just imagine the most terrible thing she could say to you."
"I'm the kind of person who doesn't forgive and forget so I guess it depends on how much I like her. If I really like her, maybe I'll forgive her."
"But what does she have to say to you to make you forgive her?"
"Sorry. That's about it I guess."
Lou nodded, thankful for Jesse's advice.
"Does this have something to do with you, Lou?"
"No," she lied, laughing nervously. "What makes you think that?"
"Is this something about the Kid?"
"What are you talking about, Jesse?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. It's just kinda weird. You and him haven't really talked since he got back from his ride yesterday. What happened anyway?"
She sighed, knowing she could not easily escape Jesse's questions with her lies. "I said some things that I shouldn't have. He hasn't talked to me since. I guess he's angry. It's very understandable. It's all my fault anyway. I don't blame him for not speaking to me."
"Lou, he's not angry with you. He thinks you're the one who's angry with him."
"He said this?"
Jesse nodded, feeling somewhat afraid that he let her know something she was not supposed to know.
Kid sat by the corral, watching the wild horses prancing around. The sunset cast an orange shadow in the far horizon, which made the horses look more magical and beautiful. He heard soft footsteps from behind and looked to see who was coming. He immediately turned around, pretending to care less about who was there. He felt a bit uneasy to see Louise approaching.
"Kid?"
"You need something?" he asked, his back still facing her. He leaned uncomfortably on the corral fence.
She cleared her throat. He definitely is not making this easier, she thought sadly. Nonetheless her determination was not to be put off so easily. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"
He nodded, refusing to look at her.
"I know you're mad at me, and I'm sorry. I have no right to accuse you of anything. It's my fault."
She finally had his attention. He turned around to face her. "What is?"
"Huh?"
"What's your fault?"
"I don't know."
"Lou, you didn't do anything wrong. You have nothing to be sorry for," he said softly.
"You're not mad?"
"Honey, I'm not mad at you. I have no reason to be."
Hearing him call her 'honey' secretly delighted her. "Thanks."
He smiled at her, pulling her into his embrace. He inhaled her pleasing scent, loving the feel of the softness of her skin against his. "Lou, let's just forget about it, okay?"
She nodded, feeling the emergence of a new understanding between them. She reached up to kiss him, and he was more than happy to satisfy her. Gone from his mind were the beautiful horses, the golden sunset, the images of Samantha as if having Lou in his arms was all that mattered to him.
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