Chapter XXVII

The last rays of the afternoon sun cast over Sweetwater and preluded that the end of the day was near. It had been raining regularly throughout the day as it was normal on a typical December day. The cold wind was blowing strongly, hastening the last wanderers in town to look for shelter at home.
Inside the marshal’s office, the atmosphere seemed cozy and quiet. Teaspoon had lit the stove to warm the cold room. It wasn't much help as the naughty wind sneaked in through the cracks in the fragile and thin door and windows. The room was almost silent and the only sound noticeable was the cracking of the trunks burning in the stove. The day had been calm and Teaspoon had sent his deputies home as the rest of the day didn't seem to present any more trouble. With this autumnal weather everybody, even the most heartless criminals, would cuddle by a good fire and wouldn't dare go out in such a foul weather. Therefore, Teaspoon and Louise were the only occupants in the office. Kid had left some hours ago and they hadn't heard from him yet.

From his sitting position at the desk Teaspoon watched Louise carefully. After his conversation with Kid he had been intrigued by the girl and what there was behind that tiny person. Even though he had shown Kid that he was convinced of Louise's guilt, as a matter of fact he had several doubts about it. All the evidence he had was circumstantial and nobody could say there was a real link between Louise and this murder. Nobody had really seen anything tangible. That man had seen her around the place where the body was found but he couldn't even remember the day he had seen her. Rachel had also said that she hadn't been at home that day but she couldn't state where Louise had gone. It seemed as if a series of coincidences had allied to bring the girl as the major suspect. But Teaspoon couldn't turn a deaf ear to the only evidence he had and Louise was the person at the end of this line. What made Teaspoon more suspicious was the girl's clear words stating Marianne's death and circumstances of her decease months before the event had taken place. This was real strange, but somebody might have heard Louise’s ramblings and accomplished what the girl had said in a delirium. This thought was really far-fetched but it wasn't impossible. But who could have wanted to kill Marianne Herrick? She was just a girl; her parents were simple farmers and there didn't seem to be any obvious reason why she might have enemies. But sometimes things were not as obvious as they might seem at the beginning. "Or simply the truth was all the time there and it was Lou who killed her” Teaspoon thought but deep inside he knew by experience that the apparent truth could lead you in the wrong direction.

He had had time during the whole day to see that Louise didn't fit in with the image of a murderess. Teaspoon had met people who were wolves in sheep's clothing but there was something about this girl that was different. He feared to make a mistake if she was found guilty of this crime. Things weren't as clear as he had thought at the beginning. He wondered if he could do something about it. He was the law in Sweetwater but from the moment Louise entered that cell and the judge was called, his function was limited to keep watch on her. Now he had to let justice to take care of the situation. He only hoped that Kid could find something that led them to a possible alternative or at least help the girl in this situation.

Teaspoon still remembered his conversation with Boggs when he had gone and talked to him that morning. He had had to communicate the banker that her daughter was in prison officially. The marshal was sure that Boggs must have heard about it before his visit but he had to play the role properly. And moreover, besides Kid nobody had come and seen her, so he had to find out if a lawyer had been hired for her defense.

As usual Boggs had been very kind and amiable as he had received Teaspoon in his office in the bank. The marshal and he had always got on well although they weren't close. The banker was the only man closer to his own age at the station and for that reason Teaspoon sometimes welcomed his company. But his conversation today hadn't gone as well as he had thought. When the marshal had directed the conversation to the matter at issue, the banker's attitude had changed drastically. His voice had turned harsher and his stance had been hard. He had refused flatly to look for a lawyer. "I'm not going to waste my money in a litigious fellow for her. If she has done it, let her pay the consequences," Boggs had said and had refused to discuss the matter any more. He had dismissed Teaspoon impolitely and that was the end of it.

Teaspoon had been thunderstruck after he had talked to the banker. However much the marshal had said, it had been useless and he had returned with empty arms to his office. Teaspoon was really baffled at Boggs' response and he wondered how anyone in this situation could live on as if everything was just fine. The marshal was well aware that the banker had said that Louise wasn't his true daughter and he could understand that this situation wasn't easy at all. But the way Boggs always talked about her was really hateful and illogical. He really didn't care what might happen to Louise and for Teaspoon this was something out of logic. He hadn't had much contact with the girl; he knew just as much as everybody in town: she was of unsound mind. But from what he had been able to see she seemed a nice girl in spite of her problems. Boggs had brought her up, lived with her since her birth, but his attitude was just abnormal. How couldn't he feel at least mercy on someone who was practically her daughter if not by blood?

As all these thoughts were running in his mind, Teaspoon's torpor was interrupted by a voice coming from the far end of the jail. He got up and approached slowly. Lou was staring at him as if ashamed.

"What did you say?" Teaspoon asked her, standing before her. “Do you need something?" Teaspoon didn't like it but it unnerved him to have a pregnant woman in his jail. Though he had been married on several occasions, his contact with children or anything about them was practically null, except when he was a kid himself.

"Nothing, I said nothing," Louise said curtly. She looked down to hide her blushing cheeks. She had been so engrossed that she had forgotten Teaspoon's presence in the room.

"Come on," Teaspoon smiled at her," I heard you and the last time I checked there wasn’t anybody else apart from you and me in here."

Louise remained silent and didn't intend to talk up. She was really tired of everything and didn't feel like talking right now, and much less explaining his actions to anybody. She kept her head down and in a moment she lifter her gaze again and caught Teaspoon's odd stance. She was looking at her with an expression which was a mixture of amusement, wonder and wariness. She knew that look very well; people used to stare at her like that when in their opinion she acted funny. And she was fed up with everybody prying and assuming what they didn't know anything about. She might have nothing but she had her dignity too and nobody was going to doubt her any more.

She lifted her head proudly and looked Teaspoon in the eyes firmly and decidedly. Her eyes shone with the anger she felt within. Teaspoon feared he had made a blunder as he saw the expression on Lou change. He shook his head and began walking towards his desk.

"The baby," Louise blurted out suddenly.

Teaspoon turned round and looked at her when he heard the words. "What?" he asked.

"I was talking to my baby," she said, softening at the mention of her child. As Teaspoon kept looking at her questioningly, not understanding what she was talking about. "I spend every day all alone and sometimes I feel the need to talk to somebody, to express in some way what I feel inside and ..." she paused and caressed her abdomen, " he or she is always ready to listen."

Teaspoon smiled at the girl's bittersweet telling.

"I guess I'm doing it now more often than I thought," Louise giggled as she realized that she had been caught red-handed and hadn't even been aware of Teaspoon's presence. "But really I need to use up all the time I have. The baby ... well... will grow up without knowing me and in a way I feel now my little one can sense me and ... I don't know. It's really stupid but it's the only time we have together." She sighed and kept quiet.

Teaspoon came closer to the cell. "I don't think it's stupid at all," the old marshal stated. "Nothing is more sacred than the bond between a mother and her child. You seem a very smart lady to me," he grinned and squeezed her hand through the bars which kept them apart.

Louise looked down and stared at Teaspoon's hand on her own. She was stunned by the tender gesture and when the marshal let go she looked straight at his eyes.

"My father never did that to me," Louise said in a whisper, "he never had a kind word for me. He never liked me." Teaspoon remained in silence watching as Louise's expression changed from sweet tenderness to utter sadness. "He refused to help me, didn't he?"

Teaspoon just nodded, not really knowing what to say. There weren't words to soften the reality she was living. He looked at her, an obvious apology in his eyes.
"Don't worry, Teaspoon." Louise stated. "It's not your fault and it's no surprising. He has been always like that. As I told you, he doesn't like me. He likes everybody but me. He's even very friendly to that conceited girl... They seem really close." she said, clearly hurt. She kept silent for a few moments and she blurted out. "I am a terrible person, Teaspoon."

These words perked the marshal's attention up. Louise had been quiet for most of the day and now that she had begun opening up, he had to take advantage of this opportunity. He was having doubts about the girl's guilt but he wasn't completely sure. He had had so many unexpected surprises in his life that it wouldn't be odd if this case turned out to be as simple as the doing of an unbalanced woman. Maybe he could get a confession from her.
"Why are you saying that?" Teaspoon began warily. “Why do you think you are a ...?"

But he couldn't finish the question as the door opened rumbutiously and Kid stalked in. He seemed to be in a terrible mood and for a moment Teaspoon turned his attention to the boy now sitting on one of the chairs and holding the head low.

"How did it go?" Teaspoon asked although he knew the answer from the rider's expression.

Kid looked up and let out a groan. He got up from his sitting position and clumped across the room. He came near the cell where Lou was and gripped two of the bars tightly bringing his face closer.

"I'm sorry," Kid said in a whisper, a sad shadow in his eyes.

Louise smiled at him comfortingly and came closer to him. They kept looking at each other, lost in the moment, expressing thousands of thoughts till Teaspoon's voice interrupted the rapture.

"Didn't you find out anything, anything at all, Kid?"

Kid turned his attention to the marshal and his expression talked loudly. He let out a sigh and began talking.
"I've spoken to every living soul in this town. Relatives, neighbors, friends, anybody who knew her and no one saw anything suspicious that can help us. Everybody keeps insisting on the same." Kid stopped to let out a sarcastic smirk. "They're happy that we have caught the person who did it. Many people are reluctant to talk and they stick to the fact that we have her murderess behind bars." He sighed audibly and then continued. "I thought I had a clue. There is this cousin of hers who tried to court her but she refused. The man is like a hermit, lives all by himself, miles away from Sweetwater, really a brute. That's why it took me so long".

"And what happened?" Teaspoon asked.

"He's dead. I went in the hut he has ... had and there he was. It seems a wild animal attacked him and he must have been dead for at least a month now. I went to the undertaker's and he's taking care of everything," Kid finished.

For a moment the two men stayed in utter silence, unable to say one single word. Then Teaspoon piped in warily.

"I'm sorry, Kid."

"Me too, Teaspoon," the rider wheezed, and glimpsed at Lou for a moment. An apology in his eyes.

"We have another problem," Teaspoon continued.

"What?" his voice showing a hint of concern.

"Well, however much you'd like to avoid it, it's something we have to talk about," Teaspoon began. "The judge is coming in two days and, well, Kid, she needs a lawyer but Boggs doesn't seem too eager to help."

"Did you talk to him?" Kid asked.

Teaspoon nodded and replied. "He won't move a finger to help her. Those were his exact words."

"That low-down..."

"Kid!!" Teaspoon reprimanded.

The rider began pacing up and down the small space in frantic anger. "He won't pay a single cent but he has $1,000 that belongs to her, her mother's inheritance. He offered them to me as a wedding present. Of course I refused."

"We can talk to him again," Teaspoon added.

"No," he stated. "We don't need him. I'll take care of everything." His stance was proud and decided. He wasn't going to beg for something that legitimally belonged to her. He didn't understand Boggs' attitude to Lou. Kid was sure that if the banker gave her one single opportunity, he would see how much he was missing. He wondered if the relationship had always been on these bad terms or if he had developed this dislike when she had fallen ill. Anyway, Kid couldn't comprehend his attitude in any of the situations.

"No, Kid," Louise, who had been quiet all this time, spoke up. “You can't afford it. With the wedding and the baby you have more than enough charges."

"Don't think about it," Kid said. "You are more important right now."

"You need an attorney, sweetheart," Teaspoon added.

"It won't make any difference even if I had a thousand of them.” Lou continued. "People have made up their minds about me. I'm already judged and condemned."

"Please, Lou, don’t think that way." Kid insisted. "You have to have faith."

Louise didn't say one word and just looked at him with an expression of utter skepticism. She was sure that a lawyer wouldn't get anything that Kid had already tried. Nobody would stand up for her in the present situation. Her chances were practically nonexistent. She wished they could skip the whole trial completely.

She knew that she would be condemned, so everything was useless. Louise could imagine that it wouldn't be nice to bear the whole predication. People were sensitive after the murder of that poor girl and the thought of having to face the town in court made her tremble from head to feet. She had seen people's reactions when Teaspoon had driven her to jail and she wasn't looking forward to enduring such tribulation again. If she confessed she had actually done the deed, maybe she could be saved of all that trouble. But she couldn't come to admit it. Kid had placed all his trust on her and she couldn't disappoint him. He had done what nobody had ever done for her and she'd endure anything if it was necessary.

She was so immersed that she never heard the words between Kid and Teaspoon. When she looked again, Teaspoon was nowhere to be seen and Kid was sitting on his chair comfortably staring at her. His look upon her made Lou blush and she hurried to fix her attention in something else. Lately everything seemed to affect her terribly and apparently Kid wasn't an exception. She had tried to forget her feelings and however much she had tried, her efforts had been useless and now just a simple act like his stare made her flush and tremble.

Louise tried to hide her red cheek from him and turned her back to him as she tidied the bunk a little to sit down.

"Where's Teaspoon?" she asked without even lifting her look at him, busy with the task at hand.

"Went to talk to the lawyer," Kid simply said. "You're stuck with me for a few minutes." He smiled at her though she didn't direct her gaze to him.

"Oh," was all she said as she placed herself on the small bed inside the cell. Louise muttered all his strength and looked up at him directly and decidedly. They stayed like that for a few minutes, both looking but none daring to say one word till Lou blurted out of the blue:

"Why do you look so sad, Kid?"

The question caught the rider off guard and it took him seconds to compose himself and be able to utter a word. "Why, you know, you're in prison and it makes ..."

"Not now," Louise interrupted him short. "I mean you’ve changed since I first met you. Though you smile, your eyes seem sad all the time."

She had never said truer words, Kid thought. Of course he looked sad; that's how he had felt since those magical moments they had shared were over. She had left an emptiness in his heart that nobody could fill. He tried to get over her every day but it seemed an impossible task. Knowing that she was nearby didn't help things much. All he wanted was her, her alone but things weren't against him. He had to get used to the idea that she would never be part of his. That was real life and he wondered how he could ever forget and go on. Of course he was sad, sorrowful, unhappy; heart-broken ... there were not enough words to describe his mood.

He fumbled for right words to say; he couldn't be sincere to her. Things would be worse if he uttered one single thought of his. It couldn't change anything and Louise was suffering enough to have to hear his reasons. "I don't know what you mean," he said uncomfortably.

"You've changed and you know it!" Lou stated. "It's fine if you don't want to tell me. But don't lie to me. You're terrible at it." She laughed outloud.

Kid joined her in the mirth. She was right. He was a terrible liar and it amazed him how well she knew him. In these simple sentences she had uttered Louise had proved that she knew him better than anybody else. Lou had been in the station for scarcely a month and they hadn't had many meetings, and when they had, it had been troublesome and difficult. But she had been so perceptive to notice his mood, his sadness. Nobody, neither the riders, nor Teaspoon, nor Patricia, had realized how he felt every day. Kid was with all of them daily, fighting, working, living and nobody but she had noticed it.

He smiled at her and said nothing. He was dying inside to open his heart and telling her why he hadn't been quite the same since she had left. And now that she was here, things were getting worse and worse. She was so near but so far at the same time. He wanted to shout what he felt for her. But he remained silent and smiling. He couldn't tell her. He just cleared his voice and managed to utter clumsily. "It's nothing, Lou. Really."

Louise shook her head teasingly at his stubbornness and sniggered at him. "You're a terrible liar," she said between giggles, "but thank you." She finished in a serious tone.

Kid stared at her questioningly, not understanding what she meant, and Louise continued. "Thank you for all you're doing for me.

At her words Kid's mood saddened and he just said. "I didn't do a damned thing, that's the problem." He was still angry with himself for his inadequacy at helping her. He knew that there had to be something out there that had to prove Lou's innocence but it seemed that he was useless.

Hearing him Louise got up from her position on the bed and came close to the bars. She looked at him very closely as he came by her side; slowly with an apology in his looks. Now mere inches kept them apart and the intensity of his look shied the girl and lowered her eyes and focused her attention in her finger that toyed with a bar before her. Kid's presence was overwhelming, his body was almost touching the only physical barrier that kept them apart and Louise had to swallow the lump in her throat as her eyes followed her tiny finger almost touching him. Finally she found her voice and managed to speak up though she still didn't dare to lift her eyes to him.

"No matter what the result is," she said in a whisper. "You've done for me what nobody ever did, and for that reason I'll be grateful to you forever. You trusted me and that's more that I deserve."

She gave him a shy smile and this time she met his shining eyes. And for some strange reason she felt very happy and her heart leapt with joy. In that instance everything seemed to have turned into air. There was no jail, no pending trial for murder, no asylum, no fiancée, no engagement, nothing, just the two of them caught in the magic of the moment. Louise didn't want to think about anything else, all that mattered was before her and she wished the moment wouldn't end. It was a fantasy that was always on her mind and now it seemed to materialize. She was thrilled, bewitched in this magical moment. His eyes expressed an unconditional love that she had always longed for. Her head kept nagging and invading her with thoughts of his past indifference for her but in a minute she shushed these voices away and just focused all her self on the man, on that look calling her.

She didn't know when but she realized that her hands had gripped the cell bars strongly and the realization came as she felt Kid's strong hands over her own. She had to suppress a cry of pleasure as her skin rubbed against him. She felt terribly happy at his single gesture of his and she could swear that something inside him had stirred too. He looked different; the sad shadow that covered his eyes had disappeared and he seemed the same person that she had met and fallen in love with four month ago. That was his Kid and not the caricature she had found this time.

She saw as Kid's head lowered and came near hers; she could even feel his breath on her skin and her heart was beating wildly. She looked at him expectantly and then he watched him whisper something.

"We're family. We always will. Don't ever forget that. I'll be there for you, always." Kid said softly and then he retreated to his position at Teaspoon's desk.

As Kid sat on the crackety chair that the marshal was always sitting on he kept his focus on the people passing by outside. He couldn't look at Louise and didn't dare. Once again he had let himself come too close to her. He had to keep his distance but he knew that it was a lost battle. She had a power over him that he couldn't control. He had been lost in those precious minutes and his body was still trembling because of that. He wanted her with his very self and he had lowered his guard and made his feelings obvious. He knew that she had seen it and he was a t a loss. He had always been so sure that it wasn’t a good idea for Lou to know about his deep feelings. He couldn't offer her anything and how he could tell her that he loved her but her relationship was impossible. That could be devastating for her and he couldn't do that to her. Lately he had had to bear snide comments about the way her child, their baby had been conceived. He was aware that people that people were talking about unscrupulous behavior or her indecency. Kid knew that Boggs had "kindly" referred these opinions to her daughter. Kid didn't care what people might think of him but he couldn't allow anybody to diminish her.

From his position at the desk he dared to throw a furtive glance at her and saw that she had decided to rest and was lying on the bed. He could only see her back and kept staring at her. He let out a sigh and mouthed a silent. "I love you."