Teaspoon sat next to Rachel on
the swing. For a couple of minutes they were quiet. He
sipped coffee from his cup and waited for her to say
what's on her mind. He knew it would somehow have
something to do with Louise.
Oh, Louise, he thought, what did you
get yourself into this time? He loved that girl
and admired her. It frightened him to see her, the one
that was always so strong, so weak.
"Rachel, you wanted to tell me something." He
said after the silence became unbearable.
"Yes. But I don't know where to begin."
"What's wrong with her?" Teaspoon had a feeling
Lou was in the middle of Rachel's thoughts.
"Oh, Teaspoon." Rachel started. "The poor girl's
in so much trouble. I don't know how to help
her."
Teaspoon looked at her. There were tears in her
eyes. "What happened, Rachel?"
Rachel took a deep breath before answering. She
fixed her eyes on the horizon ahead. "Teaspoon, you
must keep this a secret. No matter what. She doesn't
want anybody else to know."
"What is it, Rachel?" Teaspoon checked her
face.
"She's pregnant, Teaspoon." Rachel said, still
not looking at him.
Teaspoon's mouth hanged open. "Pregnant?" He
asked, not believing.
Rachel nodded. "Two month."
"Oh, my God." Teaspoon said. "Did she tell the
Kid yet?"
"No, Teaspoon. She's not planing on
either."
"But she has to. He's the father, isn't
he?"
Rachel nodded again. "I told her he has a right
to know, but she wouldn't listen. She doesn't want him
to know."
They sat silent for a few minutes, before Rachel
started again. "She said she's leaving."
"Leaving?"
"She doesn't want the Kid to find out and she
also said that since she can't ride, she has nothing
to stay here for."
"Nothing to stay here for? What about her
family? What about her friends? And where would she
go? She has no place else."
"She said she'll write Emma, ask her to stay
with her and Sam." After a few seconds of silence she
continued. "So, are you going to fire her?"
Teaspoon looked at her shocked. "Fire
her?"
"She can't ride, Teaspoon. That's why she hadn't
rode Lightning on the way here."
"How did she get here then?"
"She came here in a stage." Both Rachel and
Teaspoon were startled to see the Kid right there on
the porch with them.
"How long have you been standing here?" Rachel
asked afraid that heard things he wasn't suppose
to.
"I just arrived here. Why?" he asked
suspiciously.
"Nothing important, son." Teaspoon said. "What
were you saying about the stage?"
"I said Lou came by stage. I met a girl at town.
She and her husband just arrived from Seneca by stage
and guess who was on the stage with them."
Teaspoon just sighed and glanced at Rachel who
had tears in her eyes once again.
"What's wrong with her, Rachel?" The Kid asked
feeling that something was wrong.
"Nothing, son. Nothing." Teaspoon answered as he
still looked at Rachel.
Rachel cleared her throat. "Kid, would you
please get the boys, dinner will be ready in a few
minutes. We'll eat at the house tonight."
"Sure, Rachel." Kid said as he headed toward the
barn, a bad feeling in his heart.
After he called the boys for dinner, the Kid
went to the bunkhouse to hang his gun belt. He took a
minute to look at the sleeping Lou before walking
toward his bunk. He longed to hold her and kiss her
but she wasn't his to hold and kiss anymore. And he
had another girlfriend now
Samantha
How
could he give all hope with Lou for her?
Lou stirred and woke up. She opened her eyes and
looked at him. Immediately she had tears in her eyes.
Kid felt guilty for making her cry again.
"Lou
" He started but she turned her back
at him.
He sighed. "I've met Eli Smith at town earlier
today. She said she might come and visit you
sometime."
Lou stiffened as she heard this. "Who's Eli
Smith?" she lied. She remembered the pretty woman very
well.
"She's the girl you traveled with in the stage
from Seneca. You know, the pretty girl that just got
married." Kid had more than a bit sarcasm in his
voice. He knew she was lying and she knew he
knows.
"Rachel said dinner's ready." He said after a
couple of minutes, just before he walked out.
"So why won't you go then?" Lou said harshly.
She just wanted to be left alone, especially by
him.
"I'm going. But before that, would you tell me
why you took the stage and didn't just ride
home?"
"I thought you would be happy that I took a
safer transportation." She said sarcastically.
"Lou," he sighed, "You never cared much about my
feelings when we were together. Don't start now." He
didn't wait for her to answer and just walked
out.
Lou looked at the door even after he left. How
dare he say that? She didn't care? She wasn't the one
with a new boyfriend.
While they were all sitting at the table,
Teaspoon excused himself. He wanted to talk to Lou
alone, without the boys coming and going.
Jimmy watched him as he walked outside the door.
"Rachel," He started, "have you found out anything
about Lou?"
Kid stiffened in his sit. "She took the stage
here." He said without looking up from his
plate.
"And how would you know?" Jimmy asked
arrogantly.
Kid looked up and stared right into his eyes.
And this is my best friend
he thought. "I met
someone that was on the same stage with her." He
finally said.
Rachel felt the tension between the two and
decided to interfere. "the woman that Kid met said Lou
didn't seem too well so she wanted to check on her,
that's all. Now boys, I don't want to discuss the
matter any more tonight." When she saw the Kid relax
she said more quietly, "Now finish your
dinner."
The boys each looked at his plate. The Kid
couldn't eat and just played with his food.
Occasionally Jimmy watched him, ready to pick up
another fight in Lou's name.
Teaspoon knocked on the door of the bunkhouse
before opening. He stepped in quietly, not wanting to
frighten her. He saw her sleeping on one of the bunks.
She didn't seem comfortable in this bunk that wasn't
hers. She was curled with her legs to her chest,
breathing fast. He took a chair and sat beside her. He
wanted to touch her and hug her and make everything
O.K. again for this brave woman who now seemed to be
even tinnier than he has ever seen her before. However
he just sat there looking at her for a moment before
he woke her up, whispering her name. Lou stirred
before fully waking up. He smiled at her lovingly. She
tried to smile back but didn't quite succeed. She knew
why he was there. He's going to fire me, she
thought.
"Lou
" he started. It was so hard. When he
took the job for Russell, Majors & Waddell, no one
warned him he would fall in love with all those boys
and women he worked with. And of-course no one warned
him of falling in love with a young great lady that
stole every heart of every man she met. And no one
warned him of the problems he would have to help them
deal with
Lou decided to make it easier on him. "It's
O.K., Teaspoon. I'm leaving anyway."
Teaspoon looked at her, with sad eyes. "No one
here wants you to leave, Lou. I'm not firing
you."
"I can't ride." She was relived that she didn't
have to repeat her story to him.
"Louise
remember what I told you all when
I first found out about you? Company's company, and
family's family. And I always thought of you all as
family. You are family Lou, and the rest of it is
here."
"And now this family's getting bigger
" Lou
tried to lighten the subject but it only brought tears
to her eyes.
"Aren't you going to tell this baby's father
about it?" Teaspoon hoped she would change her mind
about this. Kid was also a member of his family, even
thought he might have made a mistake by seeing that
southern woman.
Lou shook her head. "Hasn't Rachel explained
this to you?"
"She did," He admitted, "I just hoped you've
changed your mind."
"In a couple of weeks he would probably ask
Samantha to marry him. I don't want to come between
them just because of this baby."
"Don't you think he would like to know?"
"Why? So he could be noble again? And what about
Samantha? She's not the one who has to suffer because
of a mistake the Kid and I made."
Teaspoon was overwhelmed. She tried to do the
right thing for the woman that took her place. "You
don't have to go through this alone, Lou."
"I've been alone most of my life, Teaspoon. I
think I can manage this too."
"I don't doubt that you can, but you have to
think of this baby too. Don't you want it to have the
father that it deserves? Do you want it to grow
without a father like you did?"
Lou knew what he said was true. She always
promised herself her children won't be orphans. "I'm
not sure Kid is the one I want as a father for my
child." She said honestly.
"You had so much love for each other, Lou. It
can't have just disappeared." Teaspoon saw it in their
eyes. He knew the both of them still loved each other.
He had a lot of experience in this field
"You really think so?" Lou asked doubtfully.
"I'm not sure what love is anymore. I'm not sure that
we ever loved." She started crying.
Teaspoon decided to leave the Kid out of the
conversation, talking about him caused so much pain to
her. "Where did you think of going, then?"
"I thought I would write to Emma. Do you think
she'll have me there?"
"Why not? You know she loved you as a
daughter."
"But I never was pregnant before." Lou said.
"She's a respected woman, and I'm not even close to
this category."
Teaspoon knew how hard explaining this baby's
going to be for her. "Emma's your friend," He said,
"she won't judge you for this."
"You know, Teaspoon, I used to. I thought that
girls that
you know
I thought them to be
immoral. I thought myself better than them. I guess
I'm not, am I?" she said as she began to sob
again.
"Louise, you remember Amanda, don't
you?"
Lou just nodded.
"Well, her mother and I weren't married. Does
that make either one of us or Amanda count
less?"
"Of-course not, Teaspoon, but that's what others
think."
"What do you care what others think?"
"Cause no man would ever want anything to do
with a woman who has a child which father is a
mystery."
"You can discover this mystery, Lou."
"No! Please don't tell him, Teaspoon. I don't
want him to know."
"I already promised Rachel I won't tell. Don't
worry about that. But please think of what you're
going to do some more, I don't want you to leave and I
don't think any of the boys does." She opened her
mouth to protest but he just continued. "Even the
Kid."
He stood up. "You better rest now. I'll tell the
boys to be quiet. Good night" he then left the
bunkhouse.
When Teaspoon entered the house he was surprised
to find there was still some food left. The boys
stared at him as he sat in his chair and started
eating. He avoided them for moments that seemed like
eternity.
Finally Jimmy couldn't stand the silence any
more. "Is she any better?" He asked.
The Kid looked at him. Maybe he's the one Lou
would marry. He obviously care a lot about her, maybe
even love her, He thought. But, Lou, no one would ever
love you the as much as I loved you. He didn't want to
admit it even to himself but he still loved her, even
though they broke up.
"She will be," Teaspoon answered, "if you won't
hustle her. Please don't annoy her with your
questions."
"But what is it?" Noah asked.
Teaspoon gave them all a hard glare. "She'll
talk when she's ready. For the time being just leave
her alone."
They all looked ashamed for their
impatience.
"Rachel, may I be excused?" the Kid asked after
a couple of seconds.
Rachel nodded her head and he got up.
"Off to visit your sweetheart, Kid?" Jimmy
couldn't resist.
Kid stopped for a moment but then headed out the
door.
Teaspoon sighed. "You know, Jimmy, I never
thought you would behave so stupidly."
Jimmy just stared at teaspoon, sure of his
doings. He stood up. Why do I have to listen to this?
He thought.
"Sit down!" Teaspoon growled at him. "Where do
you think you're going?"
"Outside." Jimmy said. "Why? Only he can go
out?"
"Sit down, Jimmy." Noah tried to calm him
down.
"Why do you all care so much about my doings?"
Jimmy asked them, his voice high.
"Jimmy," Rachel tried. "What's the
matter?"
"What's the matter? What's the matter? Don't you
see? The matter is the Kid keeps hurting her and
hurting her, and no one here seem to mind."
"Jimmy, the Kid has a right to go on living even
though they broke up, and you know damn well why they
broke up, and you know it wasn't really the Kid's
fault." Teaspoon tried to reason.
"He shouldn't have pressured her like he did."
Jimmy just wouldn't listen. He was so sure of his
rightness.
"Jimmy," Noah interfered, "you're acting like a
fool. Kid's your best friend and you're letting this
friendship sink because of your feelings for
Lou."
"What feelings?" Jimmy got defensive.
"Oh, Jimmy
" Rachel looked at him
doubtfully, as if saying why do you keep denying
it?
Jimmy returned the glare. "What? Lou and I are
just friends. That's all." With that he left the
house, afraid of being questioned any more.
Jimmy walked out of the house. Even though he
would never admit it, he knew he wasn't right to come
so hard on the Kid. It wasn't his fault he and Lou
broke up. It wasn't anyone's fault. It just wasn't the
right time for them. In his heart he missed his
friend.
As he wondered through the station he saw a
figure sitting on the fence of the corral. He walked
closer. It was the Kid. He just sat there watching the
dark.
"Hey." Jimmy said.
"I don't feel like fighting with you tonight,
Jimmy. You will have to look someplace else."
"I didn't come to fight with you. Just thought
you would like to talk."
Kid looked suspiciously at him. Is this his way
to say he's sorry? He thought before he decided to
give him the benefit of the doubt. "What
about?"
"I don't know. You, Samantha."
Here he goes again. The Kid thought. Just can't
leave her out of the conversation. He decided to try
and play along. "What about her?"
It took Jimmy by surprise. He never thought the
Kid would talk with him about her. "Um
I don't
know. Your relationship, I guess."
"What do you want to know about it?"
"Well
don't you need anymore of those
advises you used to need so much when you were with
Lou?"
"You've already taught me everything there is to
know, Jimmy." The Kid said sarcastically.
Jimmy sneered at that. He still remembered the
time when Kid asked him for an advice about Lou. "Just
dance" he told him then. At that moment Jimmy knew
that it wasn't for him to come between the two of
them, even if they weren't together anymore. "So, do
you love her?" Jimmy was pretty curious about
that.
Kid thought about it for a moment. "I don't
know." He said honestly. Even though things weren't
the way they used to be between the two of them, he
knew Jimmy wouldn't use that against him. "She's a
nice girl and all, but it's not like it was with Lou.
You know what I mean?"
Jimmy nodded silently. "You still love Lou,
don't you?"
"Don't you?" Kid asked back.
Jimmy looked at Kid for a sign of anger but find
none. "She's a very special lady."
Kid didn't pressure him for more and just nodded
his consent. "I would never find anyone like her. I
don't want to either. What we had was special when we
had it. I don't want a poor replica of it."
"Why did you break up then?" Jimmy asked though
he knew the reasons for their break up very
well.
"I pressured her and she wasn't ready. It's just
that the way things were going between us
we had
to get married before something might have
happen."
"But did you love her enough to marry her?"
Jimmy asked.
Kid just stared at him as if he's lost his mind.
"Did I love her enough? Jimmy, what are you talking
about? I loved her more than anything. More than life
itself. Seeing Samantha is the thing that keeps me
from loosing my mind. I thought you understood
that."
Jimmy shrugged. "I don't know, Kid. It seemed
kind'a strange - the way you started with Samantha so
soon after your break up. It didn't seem right. It
looked as if breaking up with Lou didn't count for
much. I think that's the way Lou feels."
"Our relationship counted everything to me,
Jimmy. You can tell her this."
"If she'll ever get over what's bugging
her."
"What do you think it is?"
"Who knows? Probably nothing big, just a flu or
something."
"Yeah." The Kid said. "Come on, let's go to
sleep."
They jumped of the fence and walked together
toward the bunkhouse.
When Jimmy and Kid entered the bunkhouse Ike was
already sleeping, Lou was pretending. She was glad to
see them coming in together
both
alive
"Where's Noah?" Kid asked.
"Probably helping Rachel clean after the
dinner." Jimmy answered.
Kid stopped getting undressed to watch Lou. "Do
you think she's going to be O.K.?" he asked.
"She better." Jimmy said. Or Cody will give
her a hard time when he gets back, he
thought.