Everett: What did you think of me when we first met?

Firth: Kind, generous, professional, adorable in every way.

Everett: What do you think of me now? Have I changed much?

Firth: You have become a monster.

Everett: Has a mid-life crisis hit yet and if so, describe it in depth?

Firth: I've started dreaming about Harley Davidsons, Botox and Britney Spears.

Everett: Have you experimented with drugs?

Firth: I can't remember - it's all a blank.

Everett: What made you become an actor?

Firth: Desperate need to put on frocks and be adored. Tyrone Power also had quite a lot to do with it.

Everett: Did Bridget Jones's Diary change your life?

Firth: I've changed a lot more diapers since it was released (had a baby more or less the same day) - and yes, I get a lot more upgrades.

Everett: Are you jealous of Hugh Grant and if not, who are you jealous of?

Firth: I admire his talent and envy his hair options. I also look forward to the day when my fee equals his per diem, but I can live with not being him. No further comment. Any honest answers to this question would be far too revealing.

Everett: Do you regret never having played Hamlet? Do you regret my not having played it?

Firth: I actually did play it once. I regret not have played it a bit better.

Everett: Where do you see yourself in twenty years? Would you like a knighthood?

Firth: While I think a knighthood is inevitable in the next year or so, I think I'm going to have to decline on grounds that it might make me seem a bit old and spoil my chances with Britney. Twenty years time would be fine. I expect I'll still be acting, if anyone is still asking and the implants and transplants allow. I'd quite like to end up as Charles Gray.

Everett: Have you ever dabbled with homosexuality?

Firth: I don?t really think this is the place to come out.

Everett: What is your best memory of making The Importance of Being Earnest?

Firth: Dabbling with homosexuality.

Firth: When they suggested me for The Importance of Being Earnest what was your first reaction?

Everett: Oh God, not him. But I was pleasantly surprised at the first reading when you didn't bring that awful guitar and you seemed to have lost that red brick 'Robin-Hoody' thing that you were working in the old days.

Firth: When you dream of giving it all up and doing something else, what do you dream of doing?

Everett: I'd like to be a loader at Miami International Airport and get rich smuggling.

Firth: Would you ever consider cosmetic surgery. If so, what?

Everett: Yes, I would consider cosmetic surgery - perhaps a penis reduction.

Firth: Were you jealous of my singing voice in The Importance of Being Earnest?

Everett: Yes, desperately. I thought what a shame for you that vaudeville is dead.

Firth: What most relaxes you during breaks in filming?

Everett: A good whine about the production.

Firth: What quality in other actors most enrages you?

Everett: When they are too good.

Firth: Is there anything that (as an actor) you would absolutely refuse to do, however much they paid you?

Everett: It would depend on the money.

Firth: Do you like doing live chat shows?

Everett: They terrify me.

Firth: Are you in any way politically motivated?

Everett: Yes.

Firth: What is your best memory of making The Importance of Being Earnest?

Everett: I enjoyed the whole thing - you made me laugh the entire time. So did Judi.

Firth: Are you jealous of Hugh Grant? If not, who are you jealous of?

Everett: I'm not jealous of Hugh Grant, but I am jealous of Denny Night Debenhams (Daniel Day Lewis) because whenever he goes off to be a cobbler or have a wobbly, Harvey Weinstein and Martin Scorcese are on the next plane tracking down the shoe shop, coming in on all fours and begging him to come back. I once threw it all in for a bar job and I'd still be there now if I hadn't been fired.