WHO IS BRIDGET JONES???

• Weight lost in average year: 357lbs. 
• Weight gained in average year: 358lbs
• Bane of life: her mother, over-confident advocate of the floral Country Casuals two-piece and serial adulteress
• Loves: Mr Darcy; self-help books; computer messaging; her friends Tom, Jude and Shazzer; going out; chocolate croissants; Silk Cut; bottles of chardonnay; Instants lottery scratch cards; Agnes B, Whistles and Jigsaw; Milk Tray; resolving to start diet in the morning. 
• Hates: Her own bottom, actually going on a diet; exercise; bossy, scary people; getting up in the morning; going to parties thrown by her mother's friends; work; people who say "how's your love life?"; communal changing rooms peopled by ghastly thin girls who go round saying "does it make me look fat?" to their obese friend who looks like a water buffalo in everything. [The Electronic Telegraph, 1997]

Q:What makes you proud to be a Londoner? 
Bridget Jones: The new big wheel. But I don't think it should go round so slowly as it might be boring. It should have open carriages and go really fast like in fairgrounds.

Q:What makes you embarrassed to be a Londoner? 
Bridget Jones: People get too busy and suspicious of each other to be open and friendly. When I first arrived in London I used to smile at everyone until a man on the Tube escalator masturbated into the back of my coat.

Q:And what is your most embarrassing moment in London? 
Bridget Jones: My friend Tom phoned me up and said had left his mobile at my house. Realised had thrown mobile away with the newspapers (v. tidy clearing up). Problem was flat has those big communal dustbins and did not know which one it was in. So Tom said if I went outside he would ring the mobile. Was just waiting for this to happen when Mark Darcy (lost love) walked past and said, 'What are you doing?' Ended up saying, 'I'm waiting for the dustbin to ring.'

Q:Are you a member of any club? 
Bridget Jones: Lambton Place Health Club.

Q:Where do you exercise in London? ;
Bridget Jones: Between the flat and Notting Hill Tube.

Q:Where would you like to exercise? 
Bridget Jones: Lambton Place Health Club, but only until I am nearly there and then it seems more attractive to go for a chocolate croissant and cappuccino. So it is turning out rather expensive on a per-visit basis.

Q:If money were no object, where would you like to live in London? 
Bridget Jones: Colin Firth's house.

Q:Where are you least likely ever to live in London?
Bridget Jones: Colin Firth's house.

Q:Where do you have a cup of coffee? 
Bridget Jones: Coins coffee bar on Talbot Road in Portobello. But it is full of girls who are so keen to make a fresh fashion statement in the morning they turn up wearing Gucci slingbacks, hiking socks, a petticoat, a fleece and a Bhutanese tribesman's hat. One time my mum came there and said, 'Why don't you live near normal people?' I said, 'They are normal people,' but just then a nun in a brown habit came in pushing two babies in pram.

Q:Do you have a local? 
Bridget Jones: 192 or Café Rouge on Kensington Park Road.

Q:Do you plan to visit the Dome? 
Bridget Jones: Well, we usually go to Café Rouge.

Q:What will you do on New Year's Eve? 
Bridget Jones: Oh, it's definitely going to be fine, definitely. It is probably just that people have not started sending out their party invitations yet.

Q:Have you ever chatted someone up in a public place?
Bridget Jones: Well, where else are you supposed to chat them up? Because, you see, if it was in a private place you would not need to chat them up because you were already in a private place with them.

Q:What was your most expensive meal in London? 
Bridget Jones: Buying a deep-fried sausage from the Marine Fish Bar when my car got towed away.

Q:Would you rather go to Wagamama or Wong Kei? 
Bridget Jones: Neither of them are in any of my brochures, but whichever has the nicest hotel would be lovely. Thank you very much.

Q:Have you ever ordered off-menu? 
Bridget Jones: We went to a Lebanese restaurant once and the meat was definitely off. Shazzer said it was cat. Also one time we ordered a Chinese take-away and asked for a Spring Roll and when it came it was a String Roll - full of string instead of noodles which we thought was very unusual and interesting.

Q:What is your favourite view? 
Bridget Jones: From the 28th floor of the Hilton on Park Lane. Also they serve drinks.

Q:What is your favourite building? 
Bridget Jones: Harvey Nichols. Oh, Tom says, say the Lloyd's Building. 

Q:What did you do last time you were in Soho? 
Bridget Jones: I'm not sure but it definitely wasn't that bad. I called up Shazzer the next morning and said, 'Was I really pissed last night?' and she said, 'No, you were lovely, you were really sweet.' Then Tom called to ask about my hangover and I told him Shaz said I wasn't pissed and he said, 'Bridget, Sharon wasn't there, she was at a party at the Met Bar and ended up asleep in a dish of guacamole.'

Q:When did you last go to a nightclub? 
Bridget Jones: It may have been then.

Q:What was your most memorable night out? 
Bridget Jones: After I had my wisdom teeth out so I could only drink Diet Coke. 

Q:What or where is your favourite painting or work of art? 
Bridget Jones: Usually in the toilet. It is a painting of a Worried Woman which I bought for 15 quid in a market in Thailand but every time Tom comes round he puts it in the toilet because he says it's crap.

Q:What is your favourite market? 
Bridget Jones: Portobello, but in the week, not Saturdays, because then it is full of tourists saying, 'Nineteenth century - is that Joan of Arc?' and strange Red Indians playing didgeridoos pretending they are there all the time and part of chirpy Cockney culture.

Q:If New York is the Big Apple, what is London? 
Bridget Jones: Is this a trick question? Is it like IQ tests about if Bill is sitting next to John then where is Mary? Is it Orange? The Big Pea?

Q:What last made you cry? 
Bridget Jones: Tom, just now. He said London is not a Big Pea and I have a brain the size of a small one. Which is actually not true...