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Startsida
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A
letter to the London Observer newspaper from Terry Jones (of Monty Python fame).
Letters, Sunday January 26,
2003 The Observer I'm really excited by George
Bush's latest reason for bombing Iraq: he's running out of patience. And so am
I! For some time now I've been
really pissed off with Mr. Johnson, who lives a couple of doors down the street.
Well, him and Mr. Patel, who runs the health food shop. They both give me queer
looks, and I'm sure Mr. Johnson is planning something nasty for me, but so far I
haven't been able to discover what. I've been round to his place a few times to
see what he's up to, but he's got everything well hidden. That's how devious he
is. As for Mr. Patel, don't ask me
how I know, I just know -- from very good sources -- that he is, in reality, a
Mass Murderer. I have leafleted the street telling them that if we don't act
first, he'll pick us off one by one. Some of my neighbors say, if
I've got proof, why don't I go to the police? But that's simply ridiculous. The
police will say that they need evidence of a crime with which to charge my
neighbors. They'll come up with endless red tape and quibbling about the rights
and wrongs of a preemptive strike, and all the while Mr. Johnson will be
finalizing his plans to do terrible things to me, while Mr. Patel will be
secretly murdering people. Since I'm the only one in the
street with a decent range of automatic firearms, I reckon it's up to me to keep
the peace. But until recently that's been a little difficult. Now, however,
George W. Bush has made it clear that all I need to do is run out of patience,
and then I can wade in And let's face it, Mr. Bush's
carefully thought-out policy towards Iraq is the only way to bring about
international peace and security. The one certain way to stop Muslim
fundamentalist suicide bombers targeting the US or the UK is to bomb a few
Muslim countries that have never threatened us. That's why I want to blow up
Mr. Johnson's garage and kill his wife and children. Strike first! That'll teach
him a lesson. Then he'll leave us in peace and stop peering at me in that
totally unacceptable way. Mr. Bush makes it clear that
all he needs to know before bombing Iraq is that Saddam is a really nasty man
and that he has weapons of mass destruction -- even if no one can find them. I'm
certain I've just as much justification for killing Mr. Johnson's wife and
children as Mr. Bush has for bombing Iraq. Mr. Bush's long-term aim is to
make the world a safer place by eliminating 'rogue states' and 'terrorism.' It's
such a clever long-term aim because how can you ever know when you've achieved
it? How will Mr. Bush know when
he's wiped out all terrorists? When every single terrorist is dead? But then a
terrorist is only a terrorist once he's committed an act of terror. What about would-be
terrorists? These are the ones you really want to eliminate, since most of the
known terrorists, being suicide bombers, have already eliminated themselves.
Perhaps Mr. Bush needs to wipe out everyone who could possibly be a future
terrorist? Maybe he can't be sure he's
achieved his objective until every Muslim fundamentalist is dead? But then some
moderate Muslims might convert to fundamentalism. Maybe the only really safe
thing to do would be for Mr. Bush to eliminate all Muslims? It's the same in my street.
Mr. Johnson and Mr. Patel are just the tip of the iceberg. There are dozens of
other people in the street who I don't like and who -- quite frankly -- look at
me in odd ways. No one will be really safe until I've wiped them all out. My wife says I might be going
too far, but I tell her I'm simply using the same logic as the President of the
United States. That shuts her up. Like Mr. Bush, I've run out of patience, and
if that's a good enough reason for the President, it's good enough for me. I'm going to give the whole
street two weeks -- no, 10 days -- to come out in the open and hand over all
aliens and interplanetary hijackers, galactic outlaws and interstellar terrorist
masterminds, and if they don't hand them over nicely and say 'Thank you', I'm
going to bomb the entire street to kingdom come. It's just as sane as what
George W. Bush is proposing -- and, in contrast to what he's intending, my
policy will destroy only one street. Sincerely, Terry Jones ----- ----- ----- ----- -----
----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- "The twentieth century
has been characterized by three developments of great political importance: the
growth of democracy; the growth of corporate power; and the growth of propaganda
as a means of protecting corporate power against democracy."
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