So here it goes:
Saknar du något ragg tips?
I lost my phone number, can
I have yours?
Guy: So, do you have any Italian
in you?
Chick: Not since last night.
I've been bartending for six
years and this is still the worst pick up line and one of the best comebacks
I've ever heard.
This guy says to this hot chick,
"Hi there, in the Taco bell of life you are a burrito supreme,"
She looks at him with disgust and quickly replies,
"Yeah buddy, and your a plain taco."
A put down line:
Lad : "So, how do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Lass : "Unfertilised!"
"Do you sleep on your stomach?"
"Can I?"
Man: "Where have you been
all my life?"
Woman: "Hiding from you!"
"Was it difficult getting
into those jeans?"
"Can I try?"
"Oh baby, you look so good
I could drink your bath water!"
"Why don't you sit on my
face so that I can eat my way to your heart."
"I like you shoes! want
to fuck?"
"I may not be Fred Flinstone
but I sure can make your *BEDROCK*"
"Hi, my name is Scott,
but you can call me milk 'cause I'll do your body good."
"Excuse me, do you want
to go fuck now, or do I owe you an apology."
Guy: "Hold out your hand."
Girl holds out hand, gets 40c dropped into it.
Girl: "What's this for?"
Guy: "So you can phone your mother to tell her you're not coming home
tonight!".
Man: Did you wash your jeans
in Windex?
Woman: No, why?
Man: Because I can sure see myself in them.
Man: "Your father must
have been a thief."
Woman:"Why do you say that?"
Man: "Because he stole the twight from the stars and put them in your
eyes."
Man:"Do you have plans
later?"
Woman: "No not really."
Man: "Well if your heart ain't busy tonight maybe it and other parts
of you would like to get together with mine?"
"I just love a man out
of uniform." (We lived near an Army National Guard center)
"You've got whitest set
of teeth I've ever come across."
"HEY! There's a party in
my mouth and you're invited to come."
"Can I take you home and
wake up in the morning with my face feeling like a glazed doughnut?"
I heard this one on Spring Break
at Daytona Beach last year.
Guy rubs woman's stomach:"Your skin's so soft. Wanna have sex?"
Hope you like it. He got a slap across the face.
"Hey babe, I have clean
underwear on."
"I like your shirt, but
it would look better on my floor in the morning!"
Guy : Can I have your phone
#
Girl: 493-Never in your life
Customer: What time do you get
off?
Barmaid: That depends on how good you are!
"One way or another I'm
going to make love to you tonight. but I'd rather you be there."
Man: "Is that a spacesuit
you are wearing?"
Woman: "No, why?"
Man: "Because your body is out of this world."
Here's a line someone tried
on me........ I smiled, and he got a date.... He sent the waitress over
with cold milk in a wine glass, and a message,
"The gentleman over there, wanted to tell you that "every great
body needs milk."...then she gave me his card. It worked!
"Should I call you in the
morning or should I just roll over?"
"Is that a mirror in your
pocket cuase I can really see me in your pants."
Guy says to girl that has shot
down other blatently sexual lines, "Want to go back to my place and
talk about math?" pause for questioned face... "We'll add you
to me, subtract our clothing, divide your legs, and multiply."
Here's a pick up line that I
heard while on Spring Break last year in Panama City Beach, FL.
"You're clothes would look great crumpled up on the floor next to my
bed"
Man: "Do you want to go
get a pizza and fuck?"
(assuming woman says no)
Man: "What's the matter...You don't like pizza?"
"I'm not looking for a
relationship... I'm looking for an experience"
"Hi, do you want to have
my children (assuming the answer is no), OK then, can we just practice"
"Miss, If you've lost your
virginity, can I have the box it came in?"
A classic from the movie Fletch:
(to girl in towel): "Excuse me, could i borrow your towel? My car just
hit a water buffalo"
"Hey you don't sweat much
for a fat girl"
"Thats a nice dress can
I talk you out of it?"
"If I told you that you
have a nice body, would you hold *it* against me?"
"Can I buy you a drink
or do you just want the money?"
"Lets take a shower together
-- you smell"
"Kiss me you fool, fuck
me you harlot"
"I'd look good on you"
"Why don't you come on
over here, sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that pops
up"
"Excuse me, have I fucked
you yet?"
"Sit on my lap and we'll
get things straight between us"
Irish: "Have you got a
little Irish in you?"
She: "Uh...no"
Irish: "Well, do you want some?"
"Would you like to see
my boa constrictor?"
"Is that a false nose?"
"You look like a hooker
I knew in Fresno"
"I'm drunk"
"Hi! My friends call me
Creepy"
"Would you like to come
to a party in my tool shed?"
"I just threw up!"
"You're ugly but you intrigue
me"
"I had to find out what
kind of woman would go out dressed like that"
"If you are what you eat,
I could be you by morning"
She (to passing man): "Excuse
me, do you have the time?"
He: "Do you have the energy?"
"You know, I'd really like
to fuck your brains out, but it appears someone beat me to it"
"I bet you I have more
pubic hair than you" (doesn't work very well)
"Do you know how to use
a whip?" (surprisingly this works)
"Would you like to dance?"
(the answer is No) "I'm sorry you must have misunderstood me. I said:
You look fat in those pants"
"I'm in the process of
writing a phone-book. May I have your number?"
"You're prettier than a
beer truck pulling up my driveway!"
"I don't think I've let
money make me feel all that special"
"Have you ever spent LOTS
of money just for the fun of it?"
"I *love* women who aren't
afraid to put on a few pounds"
"Hi, can I buy you several
drinks?"
"The word of today is legs.
Lets go back to my place and spread the word"
(grab target's bottom, and ask)
"Is this seat taken?"
"I'd use a cheesy pick-up
line on you, but you're too smart!"
Lick your index finger and wipe
it on your shirt then hers and say, "How about you and me get out of
these wet clothes?"
At the office copy machine:
"Reproducing eh?", "Can I help?"
Motion with your finger for
a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered
you long enough you would cum!"
"I love every bone in your
body - especially mine"
"Hi! Can I buy you a car?"
"My face is leaving in
10 minutes. Be on it!"
"I'm new in town. Could
you give me directions to your apartment?"
"Fuck me if I'm wrong,
but isn't your name Gretchen?"
"My hands are fast, but
my tongue is quicker."
Look at the tag in her shirt
and say, "I wanted to see if you were really made in heaven"
"I think you're the most
beautiful girl I have ever seen... On a Wednesday"
"Do you believe in one-night-stands?"
"With one touch, I could
make you make sounds that only a dog could hear!"
Man: "Did it hurt?"
Woman: "Did what hurt?"
Man: "When you fell out of heaven!"
"Do I know you from somewhere,
because I don't think I recognize you with your clothes on?"
"I'm conducting a feel
test of how many women have pierced nipples"
"Inheriting eighty million
bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart!"
Man : Hello !!!
Man : U whant to be Swedish ???
She : YES !!
Man : I can help U!!
She : Hmm how ??
Man : I can fuck U blue and yellow .
(Thanx Anders Andersson)
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