Mystery [Insert Pun/Injoke Here] Theatre 3081 and The Whafroodeath MST Series present: WoDMST Pt. 5 / M[IP/IH]T Special Ep. 2: MORE Dual MST Crossover Action! Riffed by TSG (stelas@rpgcafe.net) and Jonatan L. (draco_argenteus@hotmail.com) with the Cynical and Sarcastic and Pessimistic help of:- Eleni Hikaken, Stelas Eldrasia, Silver, and Shane Ai Shalaida ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Notes from TSG: Disclaimer: This document is not intended to abuse the authors contained herein. MSTing is about criticising a document in a way that is humorous and may give someone some laughs. It is not intended to be harmful. All original creations are copyright their relevant authors: Silver and Shane are copyright Jonatan L. 2000 Eleni, Stelas and TSG are copyright Alan Knight 1999-2000. The original fanfiction remains copyright it's relevant authors. Please note that permission to MST the first document has NOT been obtained due to missing and / or defunct email addresses. If the author sees this and wants it taken down, mail me and I'll do so. Also, note that permission to MST the second document was... er... well, sort of given. I asked if I could MST the document and he thought I wanted to put it up on my site. I'll count that as good enough for now. Thanks always go to the patient authors of these fics for putting up with me doing this to their work. The MSTs, and all fanart, can be found at http://www.kekkai.org/tsg/ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Notes from JL: Um... basically, what he [points upwards to the previous section] said. Only, MY MSTs an be found at another address. Namely: http://hem.spray.se/draco_argenteus/index.html ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ===[?]=== "Silver, PLEASE don't kick the bucket-" >BANG!!< "- again," Shane whimpered, while - too late - clamping her hands over her ears. The wizard scowled, and purposefully strode over to where the bucket had come to rest. Glaring evilly at the hapless thing, he drew his foot back, and- >BANG!!< Shane winced. "Look, Sir Mage, why don't you go and blow something up in the MR room? It's not MY fault X is such a damn klutz!" "I heard that," X muttered sullenly. "Get lost, you incompetent idiot," Silver muttered absently - >BANG!!< - and sent the bucket flying yet one more time. "It's not MY fault!" X defended himself. "SHE dropped the damn dagger!" "YOU were the one who was supposed to handle transport." Silver glared at the source of X's voice. "YOU could have made sure it didn't slip out of that damn Portable Hole as you teleported us! _I_ would have made sure everything got where it was supposed to go!" "I didn't know there was an EXTRADIMENSIONAL SPACE hidden in her pocket!" X shouted back. "Bull! You KNEW she had the Portable Hole." "I DIDN'T KNOW SHE'D TAKE IT WITH HER!" "Um..." Shane tried. "Look... there's nothing we can do about it, right? I mean... it's not as if she'll be gone forever or something..." "That's what YOU say!" Silver snapped. "We have Fic Sign in twenty minutes thanks to Mr. Too Damn Stubborn over there, and Jeanna will have to search an entire bloody island to find that thing!" "Um..." "And ON TOP OF THAT, we don't have anyone else to ask for help! Draco went off who knows where for HIS 'day off', and all my contacts refuse to have anything to do with MSTs! We're stuck with only two people, and it's gonna be A DAMN PAIN!" >BANG!!< Shane narrowly managed to duck as the bucket zipped past, whistling. "Actually..." X said, sounding thoughtful, "there IS someone we could ask." "?" Silver asked as he stalked over to where the now slightly dented bucket had landed. >BANG!!< "Well, YOUR associates may not want anything to do with this, but I have associates on my own..." Silver blinked. "You're talking about that TSG person," he said, without the faintest trace of emotion, "aren't you." "As a matter of fact... yes," X said. "..." Silver muttered as he pondered this. "Come on!" Shane begged. "I don't wanna be stuck in there with only a perverted wizard as company!" " But you may be right... it would be nice to have some company." Silver's features twisted into a slightly lewd grin. "Besides, Eleni is REALLY cute." X and the slightly roasted Shane sweatdropped in unison. "I'll check with TSG-" X began. "No, YOU have done QUITE enough." Silver glared claymores at X's presence. "_I_ will handle this. Just give me five..." ===[Somewhere Very Close To Earth (But Still Far Away)]=== [Stelas is pacing back and forth in the lounge, looking quite bored. There's still no sign of Janna or Ilitis, but Eleni's laying out on the sofa, looking just as bored. She's seemingly changed her image a little: she's wearing tight black sweater and jeans, and has her hair pulled back just a little more than previously, revealing a little more of her face. Thanks to this, Stelas is stealing glances often, and it's pretty obvious that she's noticing and liking it. She sighs.] Eleni: Man, this place is boring without Il and Jan to stir it up as well... Stelas: I know what you mean. Okay, it's nice and quiet... [he glances over a little sheepishly, with a quiet smile that's returned by Eleni] ...but still! I mean, there's really not too much to do, despite all the new stuff that pops up. Eleni: Yeah. What crap did we get this week? Stelas: A new plastic box... [he holds it up. It has 'PS2' written on the side in a squarish font] ...but I can't seem to find anything good to play on it anywhere. Oh well. [he shrugs, and throws it over his shoulder] [Eleni sits up, looking at Stelas with puppy eyes. As disturbing as that may be, it's more disturbing that she's /really/ good at it.] Eleni: [cute] Will you get me a drink? Pleeease? [Stelas whimpers, and tries to look away, but Eleni just gets up and moves around to be in his viewpoint again.] Eleni: [cute] Pleeeeeeeeeease? [Stelas grumbles a little halfheartedly, but has a smile on his face as he goes out.] Stelas [from hallway]: Whaddaya want? Eleni: I dunno. Whatever. TSG: That's a dirty trick, you know. Eleni: Oh, gimme a break. We're new to this. TSG: So I notice. Change of image for your or Stel's benefit? [Eleni eeps a little.] Eleni: F-for mine! TSG: Suuuuuuuure. [Suddenly, there's a flash. Eleni disappears in a flash of light, leaving only a faintly sparkling silver shape where she was, which dissipates into the air slowly.] TSG: What the?! [In the kitchen: we see the remains of a Stelas-shaped shadow too. As it fades, a book with "DICtionary" written on the cover falls to the ground with a "thump!".] TSG: What the hell's going on?! ===[?]=== [There's an audible pop, and Stelas and Eleni appear in mid-air looking rather confused. They fall to the ground, coincidentally (or not, given Silver's grin) with Stelas landing on Eleni. They both go very red very quickly, and pick themselves up and dust themselves off while avoiding eye contact.} Silver: ...seconds. There you go. X and Shane: ...eep! O_o [Stelas and Eleni are glaring at Silver, a battle aura amassing around them.] Silver: What's the matter? Dragon got your tongues? Stelas: You... Eleni: [as an insult] ...MAGE! Silver: That's me! ^_^ Stelas: We were perfectly happy at home-- Silver: I'll bet. ^_^ Eleni: --cause with the others gone there isn't enough of us to MST-- Silver: We're in that situation too. ^_^ Stelas: --so we could just relax-- Silver: That's an interesting nickname for /it/. ^_^ Eleni: --but you had to bring us here to MST-- Silver: Off Course! ^_^ Stelas: --when you've only got two people as well-- Silver: So you are listening. ^_^ Eleni: --so why not just get out of MSTing?! Silver: Because. ^_^ Stelas and Eleni: ... Stelas: Let's just give up now. Eleni: ...good idea... [she sighs] Shane: Um... I don't want to interrupt anything but... em... you guys know each other? And I, um, don't know you? Silver: What my student here is trying to say is... "who the hell are you?" Eleni: It's simple enough - he's Stelas the dumb hentai and I'm Eleni the pedantic and sarcastic one. And you? Shane: Me? Em... I'm Shane. I'm... Silver: A wizard-in-training. Shane: Um, yeah... Silver: Allergic to [speaks telepathically in Stelas' and Eleni's minds] Pokemon, Magical Girls and Lemons, so don't mention those things or you'll get fireballed. Shane: ... Silver: ...I think that pretty much covers it. Eleni: All right, that's taken care of. Now - can we get on with this so we can go back home? Silver: Well, I- TSG: X, care to tell me just why you yanked my MSTers away without warning? X: It's not me! Silver did it! TSG: Uh, what? Your MSTers can interact out the satellite?! Eleni: [to Silver] You are my god. Teach me. Stelas: ...mmph. Little fickle, aren't we? Eleni: Hey, you're cute and likeable and all, but he can get us out the house. Stelas: ...good point. TSG: ...well, since they're here, we may as well... but I get the use of Silver's little 'holodeck' while they're here. Silver: Fine by me. TSG: ...really? Silver: Sure. [There's a sensation of space where TSG's voice 'was'.] Silver: Now, how'd you guys like a little revenge? Stelas: You mean... [Silver snaps his fingers, and deposited on the floor in the middle of the room is a 20-years-ish old man, wearing pretty worn, black, t-shirt and jeans. He looks vaguelyish like Stelas.] Man: Agh... who broke the fourth wall again...? [He picks himself up, blinking around.] Man: Wait, you haven't even started MSTing ye--ohshit. [Silver grins.] Man: Oh, you die, Silver. One fanlemon coming right up as soon as I get out of here. Silver: I'll look forward to it. ^_^ Man: [under breath] I never said who it'd be /with/... Silver: Hey, you're talking to a guy who survived reading the UNCENSORED version of "The coming of Munihausen". I'll live. Stelas: Hey, you're... TSG: Yes, I'm TSG. Well done. Have a cookie. [Stelas and Eleni drop into attack stance.] TSG: Think it and get fanficced. Eleni: Doesn't matter if you don't get out of here /alive/. TSG: How many times have you been fireballed and stayed alive, Shane? Shane: [simultaneously] Far too many! Silver: [simultaneously] Not enough. Stelas: He's got a point. It's like we're in a cartoon. TSG: Or a fic. Stelas: Er. Better point. X: Anyway, can we get on with this? [TSG blinks.] TSG: X! Help me out here! X: Hmm... nah. 5 MSTers could be fun. TSG: ... [The group file into the theater, TSG grumbling under his breath. They sit down, Stelas-Eleni-Silver-Shane. TSG sprawls lazily across a couple of seats on the next row up, chanting something to make a large bottle of Pepsi appear in his hand.] TSG: Never thought I'd be on /this/ side of the wall. Stelas: Maybe you'll learn a little compassion? TSG: Maybe El'll learn a little about your private life? Stelas: ... Shane: Woooow... even your author can emasculate you? That's bad. [Stelas sinks in his seat a little.] >Yet Another Evil A Fan Fiction All: [bored] There's an extra A in there. >by Zor The Man Silver: ...we'd all like to kill? Slowly? Over several hundred years? Eleni: ...we'd all like to gut slowly with a Holy Lance, before dragging his still-twitching carcass through a mincer and feeding him to a Grue? TSG: I'll never get used to you being like that... Eleni: [Popeye] I yam what I yam. TSG: ...and that voice scared the hell outta me. Please don't do that again. Stelas: We're able to personally scare our avatar for a while, we're going to make the most of it. TSG: Somehow I was afraid of that. Silver: [to Stelas] ...need any help? ^_^ Stelas: Nah, but feel free to join in. Silver: Off Course! Scaring avatars is FUN. ^_^ TSG: You think these two scare me? You don't know the horrible depths of my mind very well, do you? Silver: I've been around a while longer than you have, avatar-boy. I know a LOT of scary things. Shane: [to TSG] Believe him. TSG: I live with three students. What's your next offer? Silver: Well... how about THIRTY students? TSG: The thrice-termly barcrawl. ^_^ Shane: Eek! Silver: Hmph. That's nothing. How about- X: EH-HEM! We have a FIC to roast, remember? Eleni: We don't! Stelas: We're here-- TSG: --or manifested-- Stelas: --against our will! Silver: Well, I remember being in a similar situation a while back, thanks to [glowers at TSG] certain avatars and [glowers at the ceiling] weird... critters. Fair enough, wouldn't you say? TSG: ...mpph. That was a valid holiday. Silver: [glowers] Let's continue this later, OK? But don't you think for a second that I don't intend to follow this up. >A note: TSG: Do! Shane: Re! Eleni: Mi! Silver: #F! Stelas: So! Eleni: Lah! Shane: Ti! Silver: #Q! TSG: Right. Carry on. Shane: ..."#Q"? >All right now, I've adjusted some stuff, Eleni: [Zor] ...made some stuff up... Stelas: [Zor] ...ignored some important canon stuff... Silver: [Zor] ...and remembered to act like an ass. Check. >many of my stories now start off in FF3's world. TSG: ...why? [Dead silence.] TSG: Okay, thought so. >It's fun to start a story in a different way than usual. Stelas: Actually, words are the most common way for a reason. Just a warning. Silver: Then again, pictures offer... unique options, too. >I've changed the spelling of Red IV's name to Red4 so my wrists don't >fall off while I'm writing. Stelas: So you save one keytap every time you type his name. Wow. Eleni: Given Red4's one of his characters, that's actually a massive saving. Can't have the established characters taking the limelight, right? Silver: Well, Zor is... one of a kind. Shane: ...and I suppose we should be grateful for that? Silver: [looks at Shane] ...yes. >I can't think Stelas: Pleease? Eleni: Oh, all right. Stelas + Silver: [to screen] WE KNOW THAT! >of a story without Tifa in the fights, so screw Shane: I'm not liking the way this is going. o_O Silver: [smirks] ...and are going to do just WHAT about it? Stelas: [grinning] Just what /are/ you and Shane going to do, Silver? My, and I thought you were the honourable type, what would Jeanna say? Silver: [speaks far too calmly] TSG: That chant only works if we're subbed, Silver. [TSG leaps aside as the fourth wall collapses.] Silver: <...chi no nagare yori akaki mono... toki no nagare ni uzumore shi...> Shane: [to TSG] How'd you know to jump away? Silver: <...idai na nanji no na ni oite... ware, koko ni yami ni chikawan...> TSG: Easy, I've read all the others. [Ditto.] Silver: <...warera ga mae ni tachi fusagari shi, subete no oroka naru mono ni, ware to nanji ga chikara mote...> Stelas: [nervously] Um... TSG? Shane: He's right... shouldn't we stop him [indicates Silver] from finishing that? TSG: Look, do you see any subtitles around here? I tell you, it won't work. [TSG starts to jump away again, but nothing happens. After a few seconds, a note appears.] TSG: [taking and reading the note] "Sorry, but the Fourth Wall you were trying to reach is currently down for repairs. Please try again later." ...huh? Shane: Um... maybe those "supplies" aren't as "unlimited" as we thought? Silver: <...hitoshiku horobi o ataen koto o...> [points at Stelas] [TSG is proven wrong as power flares, and Stelas is thrown across the room, leaving a dent in the wall] Silver: ...you were saying, TSG? ^_^ Eleni: O.o ...er... weren't you HENTAI the last time we met? Shane: Not as long as I'm SIXTEEN. Stelas: Ow. Ow. OWWIE. Ow. TSG: Ittaaaii... it's a good job I'm self-inserted... >everything about her having kids. Eleni: Riiight. Because strong women who fight occasionally can never have kids. Dumbass. Silver: I'm sensing some jealousy, or maybe wishfulness. TSG: Hmm... [TSG pulls out a pen and notebook and looks thoughtful.] Eleni: No... NO! Don't you /DARE/! [Silver laughs while Eleni pounces on TSG, confiscating the pen and returning to her seat.] TSG: ...damn. Stelas: [crawling back into his seat] Owww... What's all the fuss about...? Eleni: NOTHING!...nothing. Stelas: ??? Silver: You really ARE dumb, aren't you? I thought that was just an act... Eleni: He's led a sheltered life. Silver: That's no excuse to be THAT dumb. Eleni: ...he's male. Silver: See the above statement. Shane: The wonders of text files. ^_^ [the new Fourth Wall takes the opportunity to fall over Silver, who levitates the bricks and drops them in the back row] >And I have ELIMINATED Rogue; TSG: He's gone! [All start cheering.] >only a high demand can bring him back. TSG: And he ain't coming back! [All cheer more.] Silver: What SCARES me is the fact that he actually CONSIDERS THE POSSIBILITY that someone could WANT ROGUE BACK. Eleni: He's delusional. There's no other explanation for the fics, after all. Silver: [dryly] No, REALLY. >These adjustments will be like this in most of my stories, Silver: Yeah. All eight of them. Others: AAAACK!! X: Heh heh heeeh...! ^_^ Shane: You shouldn't have told him that. X: Heh heh HEEEH!! Silver: [sweatdrop] I know... >but you will be notified of any other adjustments. [Stelas hides behind Eleni.] Stelas: He knows how to contact us... Eleni: Aww... poor bangboy. Silver: Guys, I SERIOUSLY doubt that X'd let stuff end up here like that. It's his satellite; the only way it's going to get here is if he lets it. X: And what about that MR room...? Silver: Hmph. That was ME. There's a difference. >Three years after that fight against the greatest evil, Stelas: Bill Gates? Silver: The author? Shane: _PJ??_ Eleni: Dave Jones? TSG: You did that last MST. And no-one's going to get it now either. [The Fourth Wall falls on TSG.] TSG: [from under rubble] Grh... at least /my/ walls don't fall down... Silver: Yeah, but then, you don't have an unlimited supply of them. ^_^ Shane: Or ALMOST unlimited, either. >things in the world seemed to calm down, Terra did enjoy the time she >spent with those friends from other times, but now she was the Queen >of Figaro, Eleni: Bye, canon! Bye, kids at Mobliz! Stelas: ...hello lemon? Shane: [shrieks] Zor lemon?! Silver: ZOR lemon, hell no. TINA lemon, hell YES! TSG: ...what's worse? That we hang around with them or that we made them? JL: Hey, at least mine don't angst. Silver: What do YOU know? And I TOLD YOU TO STAY THE HELL OUTTA MY MSTS! You are ruining the little fun there is to these things! Stelas: Ooh, that's gotta hurt. JL: Ow. It ow does ow. >and couldn't do too much away from the castle. >Edgar: Terra, you okay? Eleni: [Terra] I'm married to a womanizer, stuck in a love quadilateral with a thie--treasure hunter and a general wearing a swimsuit, and my hair's green. Sure, I'm fine. Shane: SHE'S NOT IN LOVE WITH LOCKE, DAMMIT! Eleni: Suuuuuuure. You just keep thinking that. Silver: Cool it, Shane. You could get a heart attack. >Terra: Yes, Why? >Edgar: You don't look too good, you look depressed. >Terra: I miss Zor. TSG: A~Ano... Stelas: Now /that/ can't be right. Eleni: Minor Avatar Power - Seduce Canon Character. Easy. TSG: [pulling out another pen and scribbling down a note] I have to get me that sometime. JL: Don't. It isn't worth the trouble. [Silence] Silver: And you would know that HOW...? Stelas: Well, he does appear to have screwed you all over, as it were. [Stelas goes flying across the room, aided by two female fists.] JL: Did you HAVE to do that? I was gonna drop a safe on him! Eleni: [eyebrow twitching] You still can! JL: Really? Stelas: No! ;_; JL: Shaddap. You opinion doesn't count. :P Shane: [sweatdrop] Aren't we, um, like FORGETTING something...? JL: Oh, yes, of course. Safe awaaaay! Shane: [sweatdrop] You know, that was NOT what I meant. [Stelas gets flattened by a safe. A faint "itai" echoes from within as Eleni works on picking the safe's lock.] >Edgar: He had the worst mouth I ever heard that's for sure. >Terra: Ha ha. Silver: [Tina] Well, it was better than YOURS, at any rate... Eleni: [Terra] See me be a good little sycophant. Stelas: Woah... calm it, El, okay? Eleni: Grr... [Everyone backs away juuuust a little, except for Stelas, who moves closer and gives her a determined hug. Eleni's growling and grumbling slowly dissipates as she hugs back.] TSG: Aw, so sweet. I may be sick now. Stelas: Hey, you're the one who writes us. Eleni: So it's all your fault. TSG: Then why would I have you trying to attack me earlier? Shane: Throwing people off the scent? ^^ [Pause.] All but TSG: [lunges] Get him! [TSG acks, and flips backward over the aisle and starts rummaging in a pocket for weapons while doing his best to dodge wakisashi, two-handers and various spells.] TSG: C'mon, c'mon, must be something in here... Eleni: Avatarspace? Psh. What's the matter, can't defend yourself? TSG: Damn right, I know your stats. [The fourth wall falls on Stelas.] Stelas: Ack.... x_x TSG: One down! ^_^ Eleni: Grr... [TSG pulls a computer screw from his pocket.] TSG: Ergh. That's no help. Shane: What's that? TSG: Ashton's screw. Eleni: Ugh, don't remind me. [He throws it away, then pulls out a katana.] TSG: Ah, that's more like it. Silver: You realise you've just been playing with your sword in your pocket? [Pause.] [Everyone deflates.] Eleni: Let's... just go back to the fanfic. Shane: Agreed... [TSG walks over to Stelas, pulls out a mallet from his pocket and slams Stelas into the wall with it. Bizarrely, he wakes up.] Stelas: There are easier ways to do that, you know. TSG: Yeah, but that's the fun way. [Eleni + Shane are blushing. Heavily. Eleni looks /angry/.] Silver: Are you sure you got the right dimensional space? TSG: ...ah. Oops. That last one was hammerspace, wasn't it? Stelas: I thought only females could access that. TSG: I'm the writer. JL: Don't you mean /a/ writer? TSG: Hey, you gave me first choice on riffs. Deal with it. JL: Yes, I know. You've been on this satellite for about 2 months so far. TSG: Bite me, I had flu. Stelas: So you just write yourself into a female version? An... Alanna? Silver: It's one way to be your own boss, I suppose. [The girls recover, as Eleni launches herself - growling, again - at TSG.] TSG: NoPlacingInNextMST! [Eleni somehow stops in midair, leans back against the aisle and considers.] Eleni: ...for two weeks. With Stelas. Vacation. [she cuts TSG off] A /proper/ one. Back in Eblan for a while. TSG: ...done. Stelas: A victory for the MSTers! Silver: You mean you don't get frequent victories? TSG: ...I hate you all. MSTers: Gooooooood. X: Would you /please/ get back to the fic? Shane: No. We like obscure references! X: ... >A guard comes in Silver: And Tina immediately fires him for indecent behaviour. >Guard: Your Majesty! Someone has come to see you. >Edgar: Let him enter. Stelas: [Guard] Bu-but sir, it's Zor. Silver: [Edgar] We never said we'd let him /leave/. >The guard began to open the door upon the click of the latch opening >they heard something very familiar. [Everyone looks at Shane.] Shane: [Tina] Sorry, sorry, I had a big breakfast. ^^; >Voice: It's about f$%#-ing time. >Terra: It can't be! Silver: Sadly, it can. >Zor: Hello, everyone. Silver: Get him! [The cinema screen is assaulted by Dragon Slaves, Fireballs, Throwing Daggers, large gouts of flame, and finally a 2l bottle of Pepsi.] Shane: [to TSG] Hey! That's a waste of good soda! TSG: So? Avatar Powers are fun. Shane: [pouts] You don't have to flaunt them like that. TSG: Uh... I'm an Avatar. Of course I do. Shane: [sighs] ...okay then. Can I have one? ^.^ TSG: Weeeeellll... oh, alright. [TSG summons another, and hands it over.] Shane: [beaming] Cool! Silver: Showoff. Eleni + Shane + JL: And you're one to speak? >Zor was in (for some odd reason) Shane: A bunnysuit? Eleni: Panties and thong. [Stelas sweatdrops.] Silver: We didn't need that mental image. Eleni: I know. But if it hurts, all well and good. Shane: Not if it hurts US more. >his power form. And his cape and armor were white, instead of the >death-like black that they used to be. Aeris was right behind him. TSG: [Aeris] Hi. I'm a supporting character from a video game in a Zorfic, and thus this was my only line. [The others boo.] TSG: [Aeris] But it was my only line! >Edgar: Well if it isn't Mr. Foulmouth. >Zor: Shut up. Stelas: Intense Male Bonding Action! Silver: See them instantly forge life-long bonds by insulting each other! [The glance at each other.] Stelas + Silver: ...nah. Shane: [sipping Pepsi] As long as that "bonding action" doesn't involve the "tinkle tinkle" sound effect, I'll be happy. [Eleni gahs.] >Terra: Why are you here? >Zor moved his cape to display more of his Stelas: Heh. Heheh. Heheheh. Silver: Oh no. OH no. That is WAY too easy. _WAY_ too easy. >armor, which was almost completely shredded up. >Edgar: What happened? Eleni: [Zor] Oh, I got in a fight, nearly died then made a massive ego-boosting comeback as I simultaneously attained new levels of ridiculous power for the next bad guy for me to trounce. Nothing much. >Zor: That's not important, we need to use your medical facilities. >Edgar: Why? TSG: Someone's hurt. Duuh. >Zor moved to show the group of near-dead Silver: Midgets, surely, if no-one noticed them before. Shane: [finishing her Pepsi] Bacteria? Silver: [smirks] Yeah, that works too... Eleni: Nah, they'd move with him. Silver: Are you saying there's anything in this fic that does NOT move with Zor? Stelas: ...the audience? Silver: ...I said IN the fic... bangboy. Stelas: ...mph. At least I get a decent THAC0. Silver: ...wall. [ >CRASH!< ] Silver: And besides, even a wizard has good THAC0 at MY level. [ >CRASH!!< ] Shane: Shane: THAC0: good. WIS score... um. ^.^ [turns to TSG] Got any more Pepsi? [ >CRASH!!!< ] TSG: A~ano... even /I/ don't drink that fast... [he summons yet another can] >people, everyone from his time except him and Aeris were near death. Eleni: Er. Since he hasn't specified, that means an entire universe is in Edgar's castle waiting for the hospital. Stelas: Imagine the toilet queues. Silver: Forget the queues, imagine the TOILETS. >But Red4 and Testiclops were missing. >Terra: My god! Eleni: [Terra] Quick, finish them off while we've the chance! >They quickly gave them medical attention, Silver: Tina dressing up as a nurse? This we like. Shane: [glowering over her Pepsi can] Sir mage no baka. >Zor said everyone must be gathered. >Kolingen.. TSG: Bless you. >Locke: Celes, why don't we take a vacation? We need some time away. TSG: [Locke] All these killer scene changes keep getting to me. Eleni: Time away from what, exactly? Thieving? Shane: No, treasure hunting. ^^ Stelas: Seeing Celes in a swimsuit? Silver: Why would you want to get away from /that/? Stelas: Relationship brownie points? >WHAP< --Hey! Eleni: Shush, you. Silver: Stelas, let me point out a few things you're doing wrong- Eleni + Shane: [tackling Silver] NO, YOU WILL NOT! TSG: [sweatdrop, to himself] How did I create these... things... JL: Hey! Don't take ALL the cred... waitaminute... Naw, nevermind. >Celes: I was thinking about that too, but it can't involve much >activity. Eleni: [Celes] So no making out like bunnies for you! Stelas: [Locke] Aww. TSG: Art imitating reality? YOU decide. Silver: We're not in reality. And don't talk to camera. [The fourth wall falls, again.] Shane: [blinks] ...WHAT camera? [turns to TSG] Got more Pepsi? ^.^ TSG: [sweatdrop] A~ano... here, just have a bottle... Shane: Thanks! ^.^ >Locke: Why would I do something like that when you're pregnant! Eleni: Because you're male, and thus have one side of the brain permanently wired into the 'Sex' terminal? Silver: That's entirely unfair! Eleni: Oh, all right. Except for TSG, who has that wire constantly in 'Computer Games'? TSG: HEY! JL: Eleni, I'm not sure which insult was the worst, but I THINK I should drop a safe on you. Eleni: Do it and I ask Silver to do the same to you as he did to TSG. JL: Oh, but since you've admitted that you're in love with Stelas, he doesn't really have any reason to do you favours anymore, does he...? Silver: Don't flatter yourself, _author_. Things like THAT, I do because it's FUN. JL: >gulp< ...point. >Someone knocked on they're door. >Celes: Come in. >They heard something hit the ground outside. Locke ran to the door, >opening Shane: Eeeww. That looks painful. o.O >he found someone unconscious. >Locke: Alkarl! CELES, GET OVER HERE! TSG: Locke then uppercut Celes, performed the Toasty cheat and bit her head off as someone shouted 'Fatality'. Shane: [blinks] Like...? TSG: Oy, no-one gets pop culture references anymore... >Celes: What? OH MY GOD, Stelas: [Celes] You killed Arkal! All: WOOHOO! Silver: [whomever kicked Alkarl's ass] Too bad. We were AIMING for ZOR. >ALKARL! Silver: KAAAAAANEDAAAAAAAAAAA! Stelas: HIIIIIIIIIIIRROOOOOOOO! Eleni: TAMAHOOOMMEEEEEEEE! Shane: AAAAAARIIIIIIIMAAAAAAAAA! [Silence] Shane: What? He's cute, okay? >They brought him to the hospital. A few hours later he came to. >Doctor: Whoa! Take it easy. >Alkarl: Where am I? >Locke: You're in a hospital in Kolingen. Eleni: [Alkarl] Bless you. Now, where am I? >Who knows where?... Eleni: Succint answer, but not really very helpful, is it? Silver: Not really. And that's from someone who's _been_ there. >Setzer had just landed the Falcon, when something just outside the >forest he landed near caught his eye. >Setzer: What's that? TSG: It's a Plot Device. Given this is a Zorfic, just ignore it. It'll go away soon enough, I'm quite sure. >Setzer walked over, with his razor cards ready in case it was hostile, >when he got closer he noticed it was unconscious, so he put away his >cards. Eleni: And at just that moment the big gribbly RunOnSentenceMonster jumped on his back and killed him. >Going even closer he recognized it. >Setzer: ALKAISER! [Stelas takes a deep breath.] Eleni: Don't you dare. Stelas: HI-- [Eleni pokes him in the ribs.] Stelas: Hey! Eleni: You were warned. [Shane sips some more Pepsi and tries to look innocent] >He brought him back to the Falcon and headed for the nearest town, >Kolingen. Shane: Plot Contrivance off the Port side! Stelas: Quick! Arm the Implausability Cannon! Eleni: Which weapon? Stelas: Uhm.. Aika and Fina's Tenchiness! Eleni: ...isn't that overkill? Silver: Nothing wrong with that, fire away! >Figaro..Terra: Something attacked you're entire planet? TSG: Who's FigaroTerra? It sounds like a DALnet IRC nick. Silver: I'm trying to figure out if that is a greater insult to IRCers, or to Zor... >Cloud: As it is in our time. Cloud and the rest were now fully >recovered. Eleni: Cloud's turned into a Mysterious Narrator (tm). >Tifa: We barely made it out alive >Red XII: We must find everyone else and then go get Ramza and his >friends. Silver: [Red XII] We must pointlessly cross over as many games as possible! Stelas: [Red XIII] ...who're you? Silver: [Red XII, breathy] Nanaki... I am your father. Stelas: [Red XIII] ...so you're the missing link that explains why I'm a lion but my grandfather's a floating Space Hopper? Silver: [Red XII] ...nevermind. >Edgar: Let's go to Kolingen, Locke and Celes live there. >Zor: Where's Kolingen? >Edgar: Beyond the northeastern mountains. TSG: ...no, that's the ocean. Kohlingen was to the northwest. >Satanitron: Then how do we get there? >Terra: You'll see. Shane: [Terra] We just use the power of flight Zor'll contrive any minute! Silver: The SCARY thing is... you're probably right. >Everyone Eleni: ...apart from the regular castle inhabitants. So, Zor's posse... Stelas: ...which to the author count as everyone... >was surprised when the castle sank and emerged on the other >side of the mountains. They arrived TSG: Stuff happened. It was cool. Stelas: That's a two-person riff. TSG: And I've got more than two personalities in here. Shush. >and were surprised to find out they weren't home. Silver: Then they were surprised to find they were surprised, then they got surprised at that. Shane: [Tina] I have a feeling we're not in Figaro anymore... Silver: [Zor] Arf? >They asked around and found out they're with someone in the hospital. Stelas: Er... I'm all confused... which they is they and which they is them? Eleni: Easy. They's they, them's them, and that's that. >Terra: Why there? >They went to the hospital and saw Red4 alone in the room. >Zor: RED4! You're okay! TSG: [Zor] You weren't killed by my plan to subvert all non-essential characters yet? I wanna be the only one in this fic, dammit! Silver: TSG, I don't think you get it. Zor is the kind of... creature... who wants an AUDIENCE. If he killed everyone else, there wouldn't be anyone left to kiss his boots, see? Stelas: Or kiss his--mmf! Eleni: Enough. I swear, you're worse than Ilitis at times... Silver: Hmm... I would like to meet this Ilitis some time... TSG: [murmured] That can be arranged... >Red4: What? You think I was dead? >Celes and Locke walked in. >Celes: What are you all doing here? >Zor explained the reason they are in this time. TSG: [Zor] Exposition, exposition, crap, plothole, contrivance, exposition, contrivance, waggly arm movements, nodding, fading out to black. Done! Silver: [Zor] Bah! I'll just grab something blindly and use it as a plot! No one'll notice! [he puts a hand over his eyes and reaches out... grabbing hold of... nothing, of course.] Oh, poopy! Ah, who cares. I'll use it anyway. >Locke: Yet another evil. >Yuffie: Yup. Silver: [Cloud] Damn. We're doomed. TSG: [Locke] Oh. Another bad guy. Help. Help. Shane: Rinoa is in this? O.o Eleni: I wouldn't doubt it at some point. Stelas: For one line only, of course. Shane: That line being "Help! Squall! Save me!", I assume? Silver: Shane, that's THREE lines. Shane: Is not! [turns to TSG] Got any more Pepsi? [TSG facefaults.] TSG: Nani?! Oy... here... Shane: Wai! ^.^ >More doctors come in with another patient. Setzer walks in shortly >after. >Setzer: What are you doing here? Eleni: [Celes] Why, we're being a background for Zor to be superior to. Can't you tell? Shane: [Setzer] Oh yeah. I almost forgot. Silver: [Zor] Muahahaha! Even my MEMORY is superior to yours! BOW before me, filthy Canon characters! MWAHAHAHAA! >Barret: We'll explain later. >Zor: Who was that they were brining in? Stelas: [Barret] I think it was a brain tuna victim. [All facefault.] Stelas: ...WHAT?! >Setzer: Alkaiser. TSG: [Locke] Woah. You had that bad a night? Stelas: [Setzer] Yeah... oog... Eleni: Alkaiser! Relieves upset stomachs, laws of physics, and canon characters. Warning: May cause diarhhea of the mind. Silver: ONLY the mind? Stelas: Well... mainly of the pen, too. >A few hours later Alkaiser has recovered and they all boarded the >Falcon. Celes is staying home. Why? Godammit! SHE'S PREGNANT! Silver: Nono, it's "BECAUSE HANPAN SAID SO!". >Setzer: Next stop, Narshe! >They arrived in a few minutes and entered the mines. Eleni: They passed the lifeless forms of Vicks and Wedge, already sealed into hermetic coffins with 'Return To Square For Reincarnation' scribbled on. Shane: Ohno! Don't YOU start with the damn Fritz references now! Jeanna would go NUTS! Stelas: ...would? TSG: Now, now. That's not nice, Stel. Silver: Not to mention painful. [makes a show of holding up a fully charged Fireball] JL: Oooh, I think SOMEONE is in LOOOVE... Shane: Methinks that was a bad move. Silver: Indeed. [ >BOOM!< ] JL: Ouch. Ouchie. OUCHIE. >Zor: What are we doing here? >Terra: We're trying to find Umaro and Mog. Stelas: Just follow the ecchi signs! Silver: ...UMARO and MOG hentai? [turns to Eleni] Do you REALLY like this guy? Eleni: He doesn't /read/ it... TSG: ...yet... Eleni: ...and if we reference it now then just maybe we won't get any. Plus, his cluelessness makes him so like a puppy it's hard to get mad at him. Silver: [pause] Maybe I oughtta try that sometime. Shane: I'm sure you'd be very good at it. ^.^ [Silver fumes.] TSG: [to Silver] Nooo, you two're /definitely/ the sort of Keitaro-Naru type, your relationship thrives on, say, one or other of you getting smacked into orbit. Silver: Ah. Sorta like the relationship between, say, you and this FIREBALL...? [holds up said fireball] >Voice: Kupo! You mean us? >Edgar: Mog? >Zor: Who the f#$% else always says 'kupo!' TSG: Lessee... There's Moshi, Kupo, Mosco, Monty, Gumo, Kumop, Mogki, Moodon, Moonte, Mene, Mogmi, Atla, Nazma, Mogrich, Mochos, Monev, Mopli, and yet more. So quite enough, I think. Silver: Except they are INSERT NAMES HERE in the Jap version. Eleni: O.o ...you MEMORISED that? Stelas: And he calls US strange. >Cloud: We have work to do. >Mog: Kupo! What are you doing here? >Zor: We'll explain later. Silver: [Zor] In that mysterious area known only as... the Exposition Zone... Shane: Exposition zone? We're _in_ the exposition zone? Stelas + Eleni: Dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee... Shane: ... [sweatdrops] Um, like, wrong show, people. >Terra: Next stop, Thamasa! >A few hours later they arrived to find Shadow entering the town. >Terra: Hey, Shadow! Stelas: You konw... Terra's getting a lot of lines for a Zorfic. Even if she is just a destination marker. Shane: [RandomPasserby] I like swords! ^.^ Eleni: [RandomPasserby2] Welcome to Corneria! Shane: [RandomPasserby] I like swords! ^.^ Eleni: [RandomPasserby2] Welcome to Corneria! Silver: [Terra] Aaack! I see dead people! TSG: [Bruce Willis] Yeah, you ain't the only one. >Locke: We didn't expect to see you here. >Shadow: I live here now. >Locke: Why? >Shadow: To take care of Relm, Strago died a week ago. All: o_O ... Eleni: I think Implausibility just scored a Limit Break... there is NO WAY Shadow would ever admit his connection to Relm. Silver: Not in that many words, at any rate. Stelas: [Shadow] Ug. Me Relm Daddy. Silver: _..._ Shane: You asked for it! ^.^ [drinks more Pepsi] >Cloud: Oh. >Zor: Well we need you and Relm's help. >Relm: Why? Silver: [Zor] BECAUSE HANPAN SAID SO! Shane: [facepelm] Oh, _nooo_... >Relm had spotted them from home and went out to greet them. Stelas: She's got some great voice projection. >Zor: We'll explain after everyone's gathered. >Shadow: Gogo's dead. >Zor: What? Silver: [Shadow] I decapitated a guy. Gogo mimiced him. He's dead, Jim. Stelas: [Zor] Dammit, Shadow, I'm an Avatar, not a Miracle Wo--...wait. Silver: [dryly] Isn't that supposed to be the same thing? Shane: He can create PEPSI! He is TOO a miracle worker! [drinks more Pepsi] TSG: A~ano... what are you, a sponge? Shane: No, but thirsty! ^.^ Got more Pepsi? [TSG facefaults, along with most of the MSTers.] Shane: [looking puzzled] What? Silver: [badly dubbed] Ah, dear student. I taught you well. >Shadow: I went to Triangle Island before Strago died and found her >half-eaten. Stelas: So she'd Go-ne. All else: ... Silver: ...her? HER? He's not... [facepalms and sighs] He is, isn't he... >Terra: Gogo was a woman? >Shadow: To be exact she was Daryl, Setzer's ex-fiancé. Silver: Woo. I'm SO happy. [he takes a notebook out of his sleeve and writes something on it, then replaces it] Shane: Whatcha doin'? Silver: I just added reason #4372 on my Why Zor Has To Die list. Shane: ... [sweatdrop] O-kaaay... Anyway - [turns to TSG] I want more Pepsi! [TSG facefaults again, and hands more over.] Shane: Yay! ^.^ >Setzer: Shit. Stelas: Intense Emotional Action! >Setzer: Now we go get Gau. Stelas: o_O... Intense Emotional REBOUND Action! Silver: [Setzer, dark] Zor did it... I'll just plot a suitably painful revenge... then she can rest in peace... >Shadow: Gau lives in New Doma with Cyan, Cyan is tutoring him. Stelas: ...In the art of ecc-- Shane: Pepsi! ^.^ Stelas: ... TSG: We'd just like to state that we do not endorse, nor mean to advertise Pepsi or any of Pepsi Inc. products. We just drink them way too much. Shane: Too much? You can't get too much PEPSI! ^.^ Silver: ...well, at least MOST of us aren't advertising it. [Eleni looks suspiciously at Shane.] Eleni: ...you're vibrating. I think that's too much. Silver: Nono. You know she's had TOO much when YOU start vibrating. Shane: Wai! ^.^ TSG + Stelas + Eleni: ... o_O >Terra: Next stop, New Doma! >They arrived in a few hours. >Gau: Welcome friends! >Terra: Gau? >Cyan: Welcome to New Doma. >Zor explained why they were here before they could ask. >Cyan: ANOTHER evil power. Silver: [Cyan] Ho hum. The THIRD this week. >Gau: Damn! I was hoping for more time to rest! >Locke: Looks like you've tutored him very well. >Cyan: Thank you. Silver: [Cyan, thinking] After all, what Locke doesn't know won't hurt him... TSG: Please don't remind me of the fic "Mr. Thoooohhh!" Shane: Mr who? Silver: You are embarrassing me, Shane. Shane: Whyzzat? Eleni: Aw, c'mon. Naivete is so rare in MSTing these days. Silver: It's... [looks back and forth between Shane and Eleni and sighs] Never mind... Stelas: You won't win, you know. Silver: Hey, just because YOU never do, it doesn't mean we ALL have to be losers. [Silver gets beaned by a Stelas plushie from Eleni's direction.] Eleni: Shush, mage. Silver: [looking at plushie] Well, okay, but only if I can have one of these that looks like you. ^_^ >Zor: Next stop, Ramza's time. >They opened a time portal and went through it. All: ... Eleni: I think that speaks for itself, quite frankly. Silver: Yeah. Even _I_ think that's ridiculous, and I can DO it! >Guard: King Delita! A portal has opened and a flying ship has come >through it. The people from the ship wish to speak with you. Shane: [Guard] [hiccups] I wouldn't trust them. I think they wanna give you an ANAL PROBE. TSG: ... o_O; No more Pepsi for you. Shane: Whaaa? No more pepsi? Meanie! TSG: Look, it's for your own safety. In the last few riffs you've vibrated across 4 chairs and back. I think that's enough. o_O; Shane: Hmph! You're no fun. [pouts. And keeps vibrating.] Stelas: Is anyone even the slightest bit worried JL has a vibrator? JL: Hey! That's a damn lie! And don't do it again. Stelas: Itaaiii... >Delita: Let them enter. >The group entered the throne room. >Delita: Welcome to Zel.. You guys?! What are you doing here? Shane: [Zor] We're here to give you an anal probe! Stand still! [TSG facefaults heavily.] Silver: Oookay, now you've gone far enough. Shane: Wha? [stops vibrating, blinks, and falls over] Owwie. JL: ..._decaf_? Silver: [shrugs] ...whatever. It WORKS. TSG: Isn't that a Minor Avatar Power? Are you holding out on us, Silver? Silver: [grinning widely] Would I...? Shane: [from the floor] Someone help me up, please? I think I've sprained something... >Zor: I am sick of hearing THAT. We need your help. >Delita: Why? >Zor explained. >Delita: OUCH! Your entire world? >Red4: Yup. >Delita: Chancellor! >Chancellor: Yes? Eleni: [Delita] Show me respect, dammit. Stelas: [Chancellor] Y-yes, sir. Silver and Stelas, together: [Rapper-esque] RE-SPECT! Eleni + Shane: ... TSG: Don' make me bust a cap in yo' ass, boy. Stelas: ...that sucked, whiteboy. Silver: I'd like to see him try. We be on MY turf now, homey. JL: Silver, NO ASSAULTING VISITING AVATARS! You're giving me a bad name! [Shane suddenly lobs a fireball... at Eleni. o_O She catches it on her short sword, jumping into the air, her sword glowing red as she slams it into the ground of the theater. Flames rip across the area, lightly charring Stelas, TSG and Silver.] Eleni: [standing back up] Now. Let's have no more gangsta, please. Silver: [soot-black] Who you callin' a gangsta? >koff< JL: Probably you. Now could we PLEASE finish this MST so I can go shoot myself for ever thinking up something as stupid as bringing someone else's avatar up here? >Delita: I'm leaving for a while you're in charge. >Chancellor: Sweet. Shane: That gives me access to the... ROYAL KITCHEN! Muwafwahaha! Silver: ...that spell might not work as well as I thought it did. >Delita: Orlandu! >Orlandu: Yes, my King. >Delita: You're coming with us, we need your help. Stelas: [Zor] You'll have to helpfully shout where we are next! Shane: [Orlandou] Sounds like an honourable mission. I accept. Not. Sucker. Stelas: [Zor] Damn you! Someone not under my Avatar Thrall! I shall have to use my SKILL to beat yo--ohcrap. Eleni: That was /bitchy/, Stel! Stelas: Why, thank you. Eleni: [patpats Stelas] Goood bangboy. >Who knows where... Stelas: Disneyland? Eleni: The Mysterious Cities of Gold? TSG: Anywhere but here? Silver: [charging spell] DIMENSION X...? Shane: Meep. [ducks] Silver: Get back here, you lousy excuse for an apprentice! >Ramza: Something's not right. >Alma: What? TSG: [Ramza] We're in... a Zorfic. All else: DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUN! >Ramza: I can feel it. Eleni: [Alma] Well, thanks, but wouldn't you rather wait 'til this audience isn't watching us? Stelas: [Ramza] Sorry, Zor's got us down for a lemon this time. TSG: ... eww. And to think I have you two in my head most of the time. [The fourth wall comes tumbling down once more.] TSG: ... besides, they're brother and sister. Stelas: That never stopped Luke and Leia. Shane: But they never-- Stelas: Oh, please. What do you think those Jedi Mind Tricks /really/ were? Shane: EW! Like, that's SO TOTALLY _EXTREMELY_ WRONG! Stelas: Whahuh? Eleni: Stel... [she grrs] Shane: >explosion like sound effect< TSG: [to a smoking, rather pained Stelas] You /deserved/ that one. >They exit the woods they were in just as the Falcon lands. >Ramza: WHAT THE HELL? Stelas: WHAT YOU SAY?! Eleni: ... move every cushion. For great pain. [she thwops him with a cushion] TSG: ...we would like to apologise for the Zerowing reference. Apparently it's in a charter or a local law or something we have to have one. JL: LOCAL law? Hey! What are you accusing me of?! >Alma: Isn't that the Falcon? >Ramza: Setzer's airship? Shane: [Alma] Nooo, Setzer's All-Mighty Flying TOOTHBRUSH, genius! >Zor: Care to join a force to fight evil again? Shane: "Want to go kill a Dark Force?" >Ramza: Sure! Stelas: [Ramza] Does it involve 18 pointless fetch quests, 12 plot twists, 6 playable characters and 2 bonus mini-games? Silver: [Zor] If I write it that way! Stelas: [Ramza] WOOHOO! >Cloud: Where's Agrias and Zalbag? >Ramza: Agrias is at Orbonne Monastery, a short distance to the east. >Zalbag is dead, he was resurrected temporarily only for that fight. >They arrived at Orbonne and picked up Agrias. Zor explained what >happened. And they opened a portal to Cloud and his friends' time. Silver: [tiredly] ...and space, and dimension. [sighs] >Terra: This is horrible! Eleni: [Terra] Zor can easily molest ANY of our worlds! Silver: [Zor] What would I want with a world when I can have you? Obviously, you'll fall for me, 'cuz I'm the avatar and all. Wanna scr- Shane: Silver: Itai. >The entire world was destroyed, mountains were flattened, and towns >were leveled. Shane: Towns level up? Eleni: Of course. How else do the shop's contents change? Shane: Um, because they get new deliveries? Eleni: [thinks] Hmm.... nah. Shane: Why not? It makes perfect sense! Silver: Shane, you're thinking REAL LIFE again. Please refrain from doing that in here... ohshit. [>crash<] Eleni: Besides, Stel here is an RPG character. You see any sense there? [>crash again<] Stelas: [looong pause] Hey! Eleni: Wow, 16 seconds. He's getting faster. >Orlandu: Who did it? >Cloud: He called himself.. Zemus. All: ARGH! >Terra: I've heard that name before. Zemus was an ancient evil creature >who was defeated by a paladin named Cecil. Silver: [VERY tiredly] ...who happens to live in another DIMENSION... [facepalms] I wonder if this world will EVER recover after everything Zor put it through... >Voice: Welcome to the world of death. Silver: Shane's bedroom? Shane: Hey! >Zor: ZEMUS!!!!! SHOW YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TSG: Oh, please. Just combine your Avatar skills with your apparent AOHELL lamer sk1llz and drown him in exclamation marks before he can do anything. JL: Bitter? TSG: [dark] Be glad you don't see some of the rejected RPGamer fics. JL: [in a very annoyingly happy voice] I am. ^_^ >A creature formed in front of them it looked exactly like the evil >they fought together against last time. Eleni: So it looks unoriginal? Well camouflaged, then. Shane: Umm... I'm confused. What did they fight the last time? And how did it look? Silver: Well, it looks like something Zor can't describe. So, it's probably a fuzzy vorpal bunny of doom. Again. >Zemus: You can't kill me. I'm the only thing keeping this world alive. Silver: Oh, REALLY? You don't mind if we test that theory a little, do you...? [charges spell] Shane: MEEP. [ducks] Stelas: You do that a lot, don't you? Shane: [from the floor] WAY too often. >Zor: BULLSHIT!! You're presence is killing the planet! We'll kill you >if we have to commit suicide to do it. Eleni: Do the supporting cast get any say in this? Stelas: [Zor] [looks around behind him] Where'd everyone go? Silver: [Cloud] To get popcorn. We REALLY want to ENJOY seeing you kill yourself. Break a leg! Oh, and everything else too, of course. >Zemus: You really want to die, huh? Then come to my tower... if >you can. Eleni: [going into rant] No! Why are all bad guys such /dumbasses/? Kill them /now/, when they're at low xp! Don't let them roam around getting /powerful/! Silver: Whoa, whoa, calm down. Don't you know that's impossible? It's in the Bad Guy's Handbook: No Killing Heroes While They Are On Low Levels. First page! >Zemus blasted the Falcon blowing it into a million pieces. >Setzer: NO! >Cloud: We're stuck now. TSG: So much for gravity, then. Shane: [Setzer] Dammit! Why do these things have to fall into a million pieces every time they break? >Zor: No we're not. Follow me. >Zor went over to an area of a mountain that still stood. He reached >into a crack and pulled on something. Stelas: ...mmf. Eleni: [hand over his mouth] Don't you dare. >Tifa: What are you doing? Stelas: ...MMF! Eleni: I said no! Silver: Come on, let him... Shane: No! DON'T let him! >A door opened. TSG: A cog whirred. Stelas: A buzzer rang. Shane: A bell dinged. Eleni: A thing that was meant to go 'parp' went 'parp'. Silver: And thus the world goes on. >Zor: Please, enter. >They all entered after going down about a mile of stairs they entered >a room full of.. aero-fighters! >Cid: What the? >Setzer: Hell? All: ... o_O TSG: ...yep, that's /pretty/ much what we're all thinking here, too. >Zor: Did you two think you were the only people who could build ships? >Red4: There are operating manuals in each one, they are very easy to >pilot, we'll locate Zemus' tower while you figure out how to control >them. Shane: [Red4] Of course, you'll have to do that WHILE FLYING, but I estimate that Zor will only let about 64% of you die. >They each entered a fighter, as they did Zemus' troops entered the >room. Silver: [random Zemus trooper] Planes. Fuel. [holds up small black sphere] Grenade. Planes + fuel + grenade... = BOOM! [throws sphere, which goes "pop!"] >Red4: No time for learning we got to move! Everyone, the handle on the >right controls throttle and the one in front of you controls movement. >You should easily be able to figure the rest out. Eleni: That'll be one hell of a crash course. Quite literally. Silver: Now, if Zor can make PORTALS TO OTHER DIMENSIONS, why doesn't he just TELEPORT them where they need to go...? Shane: Because Zor is stoopid? Silver: ...that's a pretty good explanation, actually... >They each went down the launch tunnels their fighters were aimed at, >and came out in an.. ocean? >Zor: Pull up! >They pulled back on their direction control stick and exited the >ocean. Silver: ...except for the people who don't know that to go UP, you pull the stick TOWARDS you. We don't know where they ended up, but for some reason, we envy them. >Aeris: These are easy to fly! Eleni: Wow, she actually /did/ get another line. Even if it /is/ just repeating one of Zor's posse. Silver: She still talks too much for a DEAD woman. >Ramza: What do these buttons do? >Zor: The ones on the control stick fire your weapons, and the one on >the throttle stick activates your after burners. TSG: [Zor] As for the 30 or so other switches, eh, they're just useless. Stelas: [Gau] Fuel... release? Sound fun! Silver: [Cyan] "Self... destruction"? What mighst this device do? >Cloud: Let's find the base! >Zor: Zeromus aerial forces attacking. Stelas: What you say?! Eleni: Move every Zor. Off cliff. For great splat. Silver: You know what you doing. ^_^ >Gau's machine guns wouldn't stop firing. >Zor: Grab any weapons they drop. How many you can get depends on your >fighter type. Stelas: Ohdeargod, it IS Zerowing. >_< TSG: Riffback! [Eleni thwaps Stel.] Shane: O.o Silver: Try not to think of it. >Terra: How do we grab weapons? >Zor: Approach them and press the button marked 'manipulator'. Eleni: That... sounds so wrong. Stelas: But at the same time, so >thwap< -hey! >Cyan: Thou spoke of fighter type? >Satanitron: Look just above the windshield, you'll see your fighter >type listed their after we take these guys out we'll explain the rest. Silver: [Satanitron] Well, I'll explain it to THE SURVIVORS. Both of them. >Everyone was firing, stealing weapons, and firing and getting weapons, >and they're fighting and they're fighting and they're fighting and >they're getting weapons, and I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!! All: ... TSG: Funny coincidence, that... >After the fight ended. They began explaining the weapon systems. Stelas: ..if they didn't know about the weapons, then...uh... Silver: Easily explained. You think the regular cast did anything of note in that battle? >Testiclops: There are three fighter classes; Endymion FRS Mk. II, >Endymion FRS Mk III, and Astraea FGA Mk I. Stelas: Intense Naming Action! Shane: Endy... THAT'S SAILOR MOON! KILL! [Silver smacks Shane over the head with a Stop sign] Shane: Xwypfskt. [falls over] >Zor: We call them by Mk number when in a hurry. Eleni: So you could just have called them 1, 2 and 3. Thanks for giving us more information than needed about your creations. Again. >Red4: The Mk II can equip three extra weapons; two inactive and one >active can instantly adapt to battle conditions by activating a >different weapon. The Mk III can load one weapon. And the Mk I can >load two but they are active simultaneously and when you have two your >weapon equipped on top is fired with the machine gun trigger. Stelas: ...um? Silver: [Red4] Actually, we just ripped it from a videogame, but you don't have to know that. >Gau: That's pretty simple. Eleni: [Tifa] We know, but we have to put up with whichever SI we're given. Silver: [Gau] Really? Me not know that. Why we not just kill him and go beat bad guy like we always do? >Zor: Before Zemus destroyed the world I was going to have Cid put these >in mass production. Stelas: [Zor] And utterly break the fantasy world we're in! Silver: ...FANTASY world? Stelas: ...in terms of technology, Silver. >Gau: Let's find that asshole's tower! >Zor: I'm beginning to like you, Gau. Silver: [Gau] No TOO much, me hopes. >A few hours later, they found it and blasted forever, until Zeromus >came out in his own fighter. Eleni: /Great/ description there. Silver: And it's SO original. Note the sarcasm. Stelas: Ah, well, that's why we have the slashes. Shane: The wonders of text files. ^.^ TSG: ...that's my line. Silver: And that, too, is /very/ original. >Zor: TIME TO DIE ZEMUS!!!!! >Zemus: I don't think so All: ... Silver: [Raiden] I don't _think_ so...! Shane: SIR MAGE. >.< ...the MOVIE? Silver: Well... Shane: ...great. Now I KNOW he's insane. Silver: I'll assume that's the Pepsi speaking, and spare you... THIS time. [glares] Stelas: Hey! That movie was the perfect watch to turn your brain off to! Eleni: The trick is learning to turn it back /on/, Stel. >Let's put the fight this way they fought, and they fought and they >fought and they fought and they fought and they fought and I CAN'T >STAND IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All: LIKEWISE! >Finally Zeromus retreated to his tower, which immediately broke off >it's foundations and floated into the sky. TSG: Damn cowboy builders. >They landed their fighters grabbed their weapons, and left to find >Zeromus. And found him waiting in the ugliest room you could think >of(I'll leave it to you're imagination, it's better that way). Silver: [sighs, imitates Zor] And we all know that this is BECAUSE you don't have the imagination to think it up yourself. AS... usual. >Zeromus: Time to die. Stelas: Cake... or... death? TSG: Uh... cake? Stelas: Sorry, we're all out. TSG: So my choices are death... and... or? Stelas: That's about the size of it. Silver: Not at all. Look. [gestures; a cake appears] Cake. [tosses cake at TSG] Happy? ^_^ Shane: [sweatdrop] It IS good to know he's in a better mood, but... >Terra morphed and attacked faster than even Zor can. Eleni: ...but nothing else happened involving her because she's a canon character. Silver: [Zor] WHAT? She's FASTER THAN ME? Oh SHIT! This calls for... AUTHOR AVATAR CRYSTAL MAKEUP! Shane: AAAARGH! [Stelas and TSG wince as one.] TSG: Must... stop... image... Stelas: Of Zor... in... fuku... Silver: [soot-black, blinking] That... image... never crossed my mind. O_o [turns to TSG] You know I hate you now, right? TSG: ...you did already. Silver: Then I hate you even MORE now. >Zor: You destroyed my home, an entire planet just so you could have >absolute control over it, for that you will die. Stelas: But... uh... if something's destroyed, how can you have power over it? Cuz it's... sort of not there anymore. Eleni: Smile and nod. >Ultimate Change! TSG: Dragon...! King...! Slice...! Stelas: Feel my power! Sky Dragon Slice! Eleni: [bored] Stuff of Nightmares. Silver: Shane: AAAACK! NOOO! >Red4: The power of the planet will revive life as we know it, but >you're stopping it, so we have to stop YOU! Eleni: Logic 101! Silver: You mean the one Zor failed...? Eleni: And thus, by his logic, the one he passed. Silver: Hey, I never said he made SENSE. >Alkarl Change! TSG: Secret Move! True Dragon Rise! Stelas: Beast-King /SLASH!/ Eleni: [bored] Lotus Flower. Silver: Shane: NOT THAT ONE EITHER! >Testiclops: The fate of the planet will be decided as it SHOULDN'T >be, in mortal combat. Stelas: ... o_O TSG: [shouting] Moooooooooooortal KOMBAAAAAAAAT! [Stelas + TSG simultaneously begin air guitar and headbanging.] Silver: Now he's corrupting MORTAL KOMBAT as well! [pulls notebook out of his sleeve] That's reason number... >Alkaiser Change! >Alma: Magic Barrier! >Locke: Master of all destruction, pure energy! Ultima! >Edgar: Flare! TSG: I-- Stelas: Get-- [Eleni whaps them both, hard.] Eleni: /Enough/. Shane: [glaring at Silver] Yes. VERY enough. Silver: Aww. [grins] [Shane fumes] >Zor: Yeah, here. All: ... o_O TSG: Uh... Shane: Nani? o.O Eleni: ... >They'd been fighting for hours, and hours, and hours, and hours, and >hours, and hours, and hours, and hours, and I CAN'T STAND IT >ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All: ... Stelas: ...nah, I can't be bothered. Silver: You're giving up already? [turns to Eleni] This guy has NO stamina at all. Shane: SIR MAGE!! [Eleni flushes slightly.] >Finally, after all that fighting Zemus dissolved...literally. TSG: Gloop. Shane: [Zemus] I'm melting! I'm MELTING! >Zor: ALL RIGHT! >Alkarl: Ultima sweetness. Silver: Spell fetishism? Isn't that unhealthy? Stelas: No flashbacks to the AD+D Book of Sex for you. Eleni: ...while we're at it, no sex for you period. Silver: [smirks] I'd like to see you stop me. Shane: O.o I would NOT have said that. EVER. Eleni: [to Silver, mock-haughty] You're stopping yourself pretty well anyways, Silver. Silver: [still smirking] Oh, but am I...? >Locke: We did it! >Alkaiser: Reversion. Don't we always? Shane: [glaring at TSG (the closest Author)] SOMEthing is stopping ALL of us pretty well... TSG: Hey, look, it's not /my/ fault we're here. Shane: Says you! [keeps glaring] Silver: Ignore her. That time of the month, y'know. TSG: ut-oh. [Stel, El and TSG duck.] [Silver gets smacked by a LARGE fireball] >Suddenly the place started coming apart. >Alma: We better get outta here! >They ran for the fighters arriving to see that Zor's fighter was >missing. The ground beneath Zor's fighter had collapsed. Silver: [Zor] Poopie. Ah, well, it was time to come up with a new power anyway. >Zor: There isn't enough room for two in any of the fighters. Stelas: Psh. So unimaginativ-->whap!< Hey! Eleni: ...mph. >Zor looked down and then jumped down to a falling and stared jump >down from falling rock to falling rock to rock to rock and I CAN'T >STAND IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!! All: ... >He finally got to the rock his Astraea was on, he boarded and >launched. >Zor: Let's move! Silver: For great justice? >thwap!< Hey, just asking... >As the fortress blew up, Tons of spirit energy returned to the planet >restoring it to exactly how it was before it was destroyed, people, >towns, everything. Stelas: Intense Contrivance Action! Silver: [dark voice] ...I sense a great disturbance in the force. >Terra: Your world is beautiful. >Zor: Hey, I got 3-million gil want to rent out Gold Saucer and have >another party? >Barret: Notta bad idea. Shane: No, but WHERE THE HELL DOES HE KEEP THREE MILLION GIL? Stelas: In his pants, of course. Silver: Shane, I'm disappointed. I thought you READ those webcomics. Shane: Webcom...? O.o Silver: [facepalm] Oh, man. I sense a great disturbance in the Fourth Wall, too... >Zor: Aw, come on, stick around for the party. >Edgar: It sounds like fun, you've been depressed back in Figaro, and >it might help you, Terra. >Locke: Okay, let's stay. Eleni: [Zor] NO CHOICE FOR FEMALE CHARACTERS! THEY ARE WEAK! [TSG and Stelas edge gently away from the fuming Eleni, and Shane O.o-s as she edges away from the equally fuming Silver] >When they arrived, Dio was standing in front of the entrance. >Dio: I take it you want to have another party? >Cloud: Yup. >Dio: No charge this time. >Zor: Sweet. TSG: Short sentences. Stelas: Ayup. TSG: Ancient evil. Stelas: Uh-huh. TSG: Avatars. Stelas: Psh. Silver: Hey, TSG... TSG: Yup. Silver: Are you REALLY the right person for that last line...? >They took the place for the weekend and had the time of their lives. >Zor: Hey, Cid. About my fighters... >Cid: Don't worry, I'll make a military force out of those things. >Zor: That's a little more than I expected, but okay. Silver: [Cid] Then you'll REALLY be surprised when you see what USE I intend to put them to... >Terra: This is the most fun I've ever had! Silver: [Tina] Well, apart from that time when I- Shane: WE DON'T WANNA HEAR IT! >Zor: Wait until you see what's gonna happen tomorrow. Eleni: [Terra] Oh YEAH! That's when I bloodily murder you! >Red4: Hey, where's Locke? I gotta ask him something. >Zor: What do you need to ask him? Stelas: [Red4] If he'll uN-- Eleni: [clapping her hand over his mouth] /No/. Shane: There's that word again... what does it MEAN? Silver: I... [slumps in his chair] ...don't know what to say. Stelas: ...we'll tell you when you're older. And when Silver's not in the room. >Red4: Oh, I don't know like, maybe WHERE MY RUNESWORD IS!!! >Zor: He left early to be with Celes. >They've been partying for two days, Celes and Locke managed to return >for about half of the second day. Silver: [Locke] Wow! Celes! I never knew you- [Silver gets beaned with the handle of a wakisashi, a fireball or two, the flat of a large two-hander and finally, a 2l bottle of Pepsi, which Shane catches on the rebound.] >A voice: Ha ha ha ha ha. >Zor: Who's there? TSG: [Voice] GREETINGS GENTLEMEN. ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US. Shane: You're GOOD at that. TSG: It comes with my usual job. Shane: [fumes] THANKS for reminding us. >Voice: You people are such morons you sit here partying while Zeromus >gets ready to destroy the world. Silver: [Zor] What? WHAT? Eh, no, that is, er... I mean... dammit! Time to grab a random Plot Device again! [Silver closes his eyes, reaches out, and -] >poit!< [- comes altogether too close to groping Eleni.] Silver: ...ohshit. Eleni: You die now. [Cue the comedy smoke screen as Eleni beats the snot out of Silver with elbows, claws and wakisashi. Stelas merely meeps and looks small, whimpering slightly.] >Satanirton: Who's Zeromus? >Zor: SHIT! I forgot about his second form! Silver: [from the floor] I SHOULD say, "You KNEW about his second form?!", but I'm in pain right now so I think I'll skip it. Ow. >Zeromus: What a bunch of morons, did you really think you killed me? >Zeromus appeared in front of them, everyone except Zor drew their >weapons. Silver: [still on the floor, imitates Zor] Stand back! To demonstrate the power of the Plot Device I just grabbed - OW! - I shall slay him myself, WITHOUT WEAPONS! [himself] Hey, stop kicking me! Eleni: [with a nice collection of +'s on her head] I [kick] am [kick] NOT [kick] a [kick] Plot [kick] Device! Silver: Ow! I didn't OW say YOU were one! OW! Just your... ack! No swords! No swords! Stelas: I have this to look forward to? Oy. TSG: Mwaha. If you think I'm gonna rewrite her you've got a thing or two coming. Er, figuratively speaking. [TSG dives to the side as an enraged Eleni lunges for him. In the background, Shane sweatdrops. Then she steals TSG's Pepsi.] >Zeromus: Only one of you can kill me, and even he can't do it alone. Shane: [giggling insanely] PEPSIMAN! TSG: Oh noooo... that explains where my Pepsi went... Shane: Yup! Hiccup! Got more Pepsi? ^.^ [All facefault. Experimentally, Eleni tries handing Shane one of the scattered empty bottles.] Shane: Hey! It'sempty! GimmegimmegimmemorePepsi! [Eleni sweatdrops. TSG sighs, and hands over a bottle.] TSG: If nothing else, at least I'll leave with the knowledge I've tortured Silver a little somehow.. Shane: Waii! ^.^ [glomps TSG, then starts on the Pepsi]] Silver: [from the back row] I'll get you for this, avatarboi. I'll get you. Mark my words. TSG: [dazed] ...I... I got glomped... an MSTer actually showed me some kindness... Stelas: Enjoy it while it lasts, avatarboi. Silver: [now in his usual seat, and glaring EVILLY at TSG] Because it WON'T. >Everyone (except Zor) charged and ran into a barrier before they >could even pass Zor. Eleni: [calming, and plunking back down in her seat] That's not a barrier, that's Zor's ego. >Zeromus: Zor, you will fight me...alone. >Zor: Fine. Ultimate Change! Stelas: [badly dubbed] ULTIMATE-AH! CONFIDENCE-AH! >Zor held his hand in the air. A red blade extended from his hand he >swung his hand in the air and the blade flew off revealing a red >sword. Zor caught the sword. TSG + Silver: Eh. That's easy. [All o_O and edge away. TSG and Silver exchange looks, then shrug] >Zeromus: Die, Zor! >Zor: Asura! >Zor charged and slashed Zeromus three times, he then jumped in the air, >the sword quadrupled in size [Silver doubles over laughing] Silver: Now... THAT... is what... I call... WISHFUL THINKING! Stelas: But what would Freud say? Eleni: "Good God, you've got problems!", I expect. >and Zor slashed down on top of Zeromus. >Zeromus: You asshole! Silver: [Zeromus] I... shall... not... perish... as... long... as... there... is... evil... in... the... hearts... of... men... puff. >Zeromus blasted Zor with a powerful spell, it didn't even stun Zor. Eleni: ...then it wasn't exactly powerful, was it? Silver: [fuming] My words EXACTLY. Shane: [to Eleni] He'sjustangrybecause, itwasaspellanditdidn'twork, yousee. Silver: [still fuming] ! [Shane falls over.] >Zor: AsuraRevenge! >Zor repeated the combo only this time after the swords size quadrupled >Zeromus was lifted off the ground in an energy ball and Zor slashed >from underneath before bringing the sword down on Zeromus' head, >causing the energy ball to explode. Eleni: Then the big gribbly RunOnSentenceMonster attacked again, together with the StupidlyLargeAttackRobot. Shane: [from the floor] SOMEONE has been playing too much Final Fantasy VIII, I think. Oh, and I would appreciate it if someone could help me up. >Zeromus: You.. bastard! I will return in two thousand years.Zeromus died. Shane: [now upright] So Zeromus said, "I will return in two thousand years. Zeromus died"? TSG: Nah, he missed a space, too. Shane: ...yeah. That too. O.o Stelas: The wonders of text files. Silver: You'd think someone who has lived as long as HE has would be more careful. Shane: Um, Sir Mage, I DO NOT think you are the right person to say that. >Aeris: Great, Zor! Eleni: [Aeris] I must sycophate to get any lines! Stelas: ...that's not a word, El. Eleni: Neither's most of this story, I think. >Gau: Question: If you could've used that sword before, why didn't you? TSG: [Zor] I must establish my superiority in varying steps, for maximum... superiority-age. Eleni: ...and you have a go at me? Stelas: ... >Zor: I feared I might hurt other people with it. I didn't have time to >practice with it, I only gained it two weeks ago when >IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII've said enough. All: ...MORE than enough. >Terra: No, go on. What did you do? >Zor: You probably noticed that my cape and armor are white now. I >became a paladin, so that the evil could be defeated. Eleni: [Terra] You /knew/ about this? Then why didn't you, say, destroy him before he destroyed your world? Stelas: [Cecil] And give me back my cape. Silver: [Zor] Because if I had, I wouldn't have you people to show off to. Duh, what did you THINK? Stelas: [Cecil] ...we can't. You're writing us. Silver: [Zor] ...oh yeah. Good point. Stelas: [Cecil] And I still want my cape back. >Ramza: Why didn't you tell us? >Zor: I didn't think it was necessary. >Gau: You asshole. All: Woo! Shane: [Gau] Me UUUUUAAAAOOOOW all of you! You asshole! [herself] Umm... not right? >Zor: I'm REALLY starting to like you, Gau. Stelas: [Zor] Because I'm secretly a masochist with a BSDM stre-->whap!< [Silver closes his mouth and tries to look innocent] >Everybody is ready to return to their own time. Stelas: To the not-so-distant future? TSG: Somewhere in outer space? Eleni: ...we're going to get sued. Silver: [smirks] You know... the GOOD thing about being stuck inside someone's head is that you can make HIM pay for your expenses. >Red4: Setzer we got a gift for you. >Setzer:Red4: Bring it! Stelas: Uh, Setzer, you're not on IRC. >crash!< JL: [sheepishly] Sorry... that was MY wall. >A large airship (that looked like the Blackjack) flew over themountains. >Red4: A parting gift to replace the Falcon. >Setzer: Cool, thanks. >Zor: See you. All: Woohoo! X: Get back here. >Will there be another evil power they'll need to fight? Maybe, who >knows? Ha ha ha ha. Stelas: Fwofofofofofofo. Eleni: Mwahahahahaha. TSG: Brouhaha! Brouhaha! Silver: No, no. This is how you do it: BWAFWAHAHAA! Shane: [wincing] Sir Mage, PLEASE lower your voice. My CHAIR VIBRATED when you did that. >The End [Eleni stands up and concentrates. Then the lights go out. When they come back on, there's a large number of slashes in the cinema screen: the fact they read out "Eleni :)" might possibly point to the culprit. Eleni's not seemingly moved, though.] Shane: _MEEEP!_ NEATNESS! Silver: [grinning] I can't WAIT to tell Jeanna about that. She'll be SO jealous. JL: NOW, if you'll excuse me, I have a few things to... DISCUSS with a certain guest- [TSG vanishes] JL: -so you can do whatever you like. Go ahead, SHOO. [There is silence for a while] Silver: [to Stelas & Eleni] ...anyway, would you two like to relax a bit before going back to that Totally Sloppy Gnat character? Take a walk somewhere or something... Stelas: As nice as it would be to see some trees and stuff again... Eleni: ...I REALLY don't think TSG'd appreciate it if we got out of the house. [glowers at Silver] Beyond what we just did, I mean. Silver: ...and...? Stelas: He's an AVATAR. He'd hunt us down and drag us back, probably in a quite embarrassing and painful way. Silver: [sweatdrop] Er... well, even if I can't put you down anyplace else but that house, I CAN give you time to rest for a while. You could always use the MR room if you'd like to see trees. Stelas: "MR"...? Eleni: The Magically Resistant room? Silver: [harumphing] That's MAGICAL REALITY. As opposed to VIRTUAL ditto. Shane: Yeah, and it's really cool! You can get trees and mountains and rivers and everything! ^.^ Stelas: [confused] How do you get THAT on a SATELLITE? Silver: How did I get the two of YOU out of someone's HEAD and onto the satellite? Stelas: Uh... Eleni: [lightly thwaps Stelas] MAGIC, Stel... Silver: Have a Tilde! ~! [Stelas leans his head in his hands and groans] Shane: Yay! Tildes! Gimme! [nabs the Tilde and runs off with it] Eleni [sweatdrops] This is mad... Silver: [glowers at Shane's back] ANYway... oh, heck, I'll just show you. [he teleports into the MR room with Stel + Eleni, who stare at the blank steel walls with some scepticism] Don't let its appearance fool you - it can turn into ANYTHING we want. Hmm... trees, you said... a nice forest, perhaps? [he waves a hand, and the MR room turns into a lush, green forest, complete with the smells and sounds associated with one of those] So how about it? Stelas: It's... really a forest?? Wow... Silver: [smirks] Yes, REALLY. Really a VIRTUAL one, but still REALLY. Eleni: Quite a realistic thing. Silver: I told you so! ^_^ Stelas: [curiously poking a tree] I haven't seen a forest since... Eleni: ...since TSG trapped us in that house. >.< Silver: And now for the weather... hmm, [grins] given what I'm sure you'll be doing after having declared your undying love for one another... well, not exactly that, but close enough - anyway, some _rain and clouds_ might be fitting for the occasion. [he gestures again; then, with a wink, he vanishes, leaving Stelas and Eleni alone] Stelas: Huh? What? ELeni: I don't understand that man. I COMPLETELY... do not understand him. [she shakes her head] Stelas. Me neither... and what's up with this Rain and Clouds? [Eleni turns slightly red] Eleni: Eh, nothing... that is, I... haven'tgotthefaintestidea! Come on, Stel, let's walk! [And so Stelas and Eleni walk away, hand in hand, slowly through the gently falling rain-] JL: HEY! Cut that out! You- you- you spoony scriptwriter! [Who, me?] JL: Yeah, YOU! What the hell are you doing with the soppy romance scene? This is supposed to be an _MST_, not a frickin' Sandra Bullock movie! [Sorry... I'll just-] JL: Like HELL you are! Cut! CUT! I don't wanna see this! CREDITS! ______________________________________________________________________ "Yet Another Evil - the MSTing" a MYSTERY [INSERT PUN/INJOKE HERE] THEATRE 3081 production, in association with TSGMST Starring: -THE SECOND MOST POWERFUL MAGE IN THE WORLD as "SILVER"- -JEANNA STARSBLADE as JEANNA- -SHANE AI SHALAIDA as SHANE- -STELAS ELDRASIA as STELAS- -ELENI HIKAKEN as ELENI- -VINCENT VALENTINE as X- -TIFA LOCKHEART as Y- with -ALAN KNIGHT as The Voice of TSG- -JONATAN L as The Voice of JL- and -DRACO as DRACO- Soundtrack available on FriedChocoboWings Records Contact the Authors at... JL - draco_argenteus@hotmail.com TSG - stelas@rpgcafe.net ...because feedback is always appreciated. ^_^