Mystery [Insert Pun/Injoke Here] Theatre 3081 proudly present... Episode 5: Return Of Darkness By Daniel Aitken Another PS SI fic (well, MILDLY SI. This isn't Zor) here. Can't seem to find that many FF ones... at least not ones that would be riff- worthy enough. Oh, what is there to say? Roll it, #$&%¤£! (Oh, and this isn't the best I've done, but... hopefully, not too bad. Sorry.) ------------------------- ===[?]=== The door to the theatre slowly opens. The room is dark, but a darker shadow is slowly creeping in - Suddenly, the room is flooded in light, and Queen's 'We will rock you' starts playing. The shadow, who is really Jeanna, sighs. "Damn!" "You didn't think I'd give up on this device?" X asks. "It's so much fun!" Jeanna mutters something rude, and ignores him. She puts down a footstool in front of her usual seat, sits down, and puts the stool to good use. 'We will rock you' fades out as another woman enters the room. "Mornin', Shane," Jeanna greets her. The words are drowned out as Beethoven's Fifth Symphony kicks in. Shane jumps, then glares evilly at the ceiling. "Dammit X!" "You didn't like the Sailor Moon theme," X tells her, "so I changed the program. It still produces random theme songs for you, of course, but no more Sailor Moon." "KILL!" Shane shouts, and fires random spells at nothing in particular. Once that is done with, she takes her regular seat. "Try not to mind!" Jeanna shouts over the music. "It's better that way!" Suddenly, the music stops... ...and is replaced with "One-winged Angel" from FF7. "What the...?" Jeanna sputters. A black rift appears in the air, crackling with blue energy. After a few seconds, the rift expands into the size of a regular door, and someone steps through - There is a "WAI!" from three different girls as Silver enters the room. Unlike the last time they saw Silver, he is not dressed in his simple robe. In its place, he wears something rather like it, but in a heavy, fine-meshed cloth that follows the contours of his body in a way that makes it almost impossible NOT to see that he is, in fact, built quite like Sephiroth. Silver patterns adorn the black cloth - runes, hexa- and pentagrams, and strange shapes that seem to be moving around on their own accord. The mage's beard, which is normally in a style called "I-just-keep-it-short-to-get-it-out-of-the-way", has been trimmed down to a stylish goatee, which makes him look rather sinister. "WHERE did you get THAT?!" Jeanna gasps, chorused by Y, whose image has appeared on the large movie screen. "Like it?" Silver asks as he unceremonially takes his usual seat, between Jeanna and Shane. "It's awfully formal, so I usually don't wear it... but X threatened to send us something..." He winces. "Send us what?" Shane asks warily. "'Chibi-Usa's Eighth Birthday: Pikachu's revenge - the PJ mix'." The girls slowly fall over, green-faced. "So I figured that if I'm going to have to call down the Wrath of the Powers on this miserable place, I might as well look good doing it. After all, you don't invoke the Powers EVERY day," Silver continues as they slowly crawl back into upright position. "Agh...!" Jeanna manages. However, as she looks at Silver, she practically starts drooling. Despite the threat of something that would certainly turn all three of them into vegetables, all she can manage to think is, *WOW!* "Especially since one of the Powers is a rather nice lady, whom I happen to know a little -" Jeanna's starry-eyed demeanour turns back to normal in a flash. "Silver!" The Second Most Powerful Mage In The World grins at her. Under the assault of that smile, Jeanna's eyes start sparkling again. "I think you misunderstood," X says. He doesn't seem very pleased - and the fact that Y is STILL staring at Silver with Anime-ish sparkly eyes doesn't help things much. "The fic I'm going to send you today is a Phantasy Star one - 'Return Of Darkness' by Daniel Aitken. It doesn't contain EITHER Chibi-Usa, Pikachu, OR PJ. Y! Get back here; we have a fic to show." "Silver-sama!" Y says, staring dazedly at said mage. "Y!!" "Silver-sama!" Silver makes a gesture. A screen of impenetrable darkness falls down betwen him and Y. "Wha?" Y asks, waking up from her trance. "Did something happen?" "THE FIC!" X reminds her. "GET BACK HERE, DAMN IT!" "Ah? Oh, on my way!" Y's image disappears. Silver dispels his shield. A low "Silver-sama!" can be heard before X cuts the connection and starts the fic. ===[WARNING! YOU ARE ENTERING MST ZONE!]=== >Return Of Darkness Silver: Or, the Return of the Return of the Return of the Return... of the RETURN of the Bad Fanfic About The Return Of Darkness. Again. AGAIN. Jeanna: [thwaps Silver] Don't do that! Shane: Where's Draco? Silver: Asleep and not giving a damn. Shane: Did I even have to ask...? Silver: I guess X finally gave up on him. >By Daniel Aitken Shane: Who? Silver: never heard of'im. But, 'no news is good news'. Shane: ...yeah, I guess... >"Chaz...Chaz...Chaz!!" called Rika, "Get up! We aren't >going to that picnic if your not up! Come on Chaz! Get up!" Jeanna: And we have... ALREADY! Silver: Hmm.... I'm not so sure of that... Shane: She's right. Rika doesn't act THAT immature. >"Oh, no, the picnic! I forgot that I promised Rika that we'd >go!" groaned Chaz. > >Reluctantly, Chaz got out of his bed, slipping on some boots >Rika had made for him. Jeanna: Egh. Silver: Wha? Jeanna: Egh. Just Egh. Silver: Besides, you DRESS bfore you put on the boots. Well, you CAN do it the other way around if you're wearing a robe, but Chaz isn't. > Lazily, he went downstairs, taking a >moment to look into Alys' room. Silver: ...which happens to be on the first floor, together with Chaz' own room. FYI. >"If only I had known," thought Chaz. Silver: [Chaz] If only I had KNOWN that Zio was this SUPER-POWERFUL WIZARD WHO COULD CONJURE AN ENTIRE CASTLE OVER NIGHT, I wouldn't have called him a 'scumsucking son-of-a-sandworm...' No, that's a 'sandworm-sucking son-of-a-scum'- [Jeanna thwaps Silver] >Everything was left just the way Alys had it when they left. >It has been nearly a year since her death. Though revenge >was served, he didn't feel certain that it was. Shane: ...er? Either it IS or it ISN'T, right? Silver: ...you really don't want to know that at your age, Shane-chan. Jeanna: ...'Shane...chan'? Silver: Alright, let it pass already... >Continuing downstairs, he heard Rika. Silver: [Rika] Rune... ooh! Not HERE Chaz could come down at any second OOH and speaking of COMING - [Silver casts a 'Globe of Invlunerbility' spell, and follows it up with and a 'Stoneskin'] Shane: Jeanna: >Wham!< >Smack!< >Crash!< >Foom!< Silver: ^_^ Ouch. Not. ^_^ Girls: [fume] >"Chaz Ashley, if you don't get down here I'll come up and >get you myself!" Silver: [Chaz] Is that an invitation? Jeanna: Grr! [whacks Silver with a 2x4, which breaks] Silver: You forgot the Stoneskin. By the way... Isn't that 2x4 thing getting a _little_ old by now? Jeanna: [silence] ... ... Yeah, but it's hard to come up with a substitute... >"Yes mother!" teased Chaz. Silver: Mother... OK. NOT an invitation. [Jeanna whacks Silver with a baseball bat] >"Get down here Chazy boy!" replied Rika. Silver: Then again... [Jeanna whacks Silver with a tennis racquet] >The two got their coats on, and started outside. > >"Oh, I forgot the sword!" Chaz blurted. Jeanna: ... Silver: '...'? Jeanna: Yeah, '...'! [snaps] YOU DON'T _FORGET_ YOUR _FUCKING_ _SWORD_ YOU MINDLESS LITTLE - Silver: ... . Jeanna: - FUC- Thanks. I needed that. Silver: You're welcome... ^_^ >Chaz always took a sword with him, no matter what Rika said. >It was the sword that defeated Zio, nearly a year ago. Silver: [sword] _I_ beat Zio! You only helped! Shane: [Chaz] Did not! Silver: [sword] Did too! Jeanna: ...argh! Silver: Not to mention that that's a LASER sword, which can be kept in a pocket and isn't really that much to bicker about... and besides, EVERYBODY sells that sword when they get to Dezoris, because the Laconian stuff costs MONEY. >"Why do you insist on taking that old thing around everywhere?!? >You never use it!" said Rika, annoyed. Silver: [Chase] Because if I _didn't_ bring it, I _know_ I would need it. Shane: DING! Silver: 'Ding'? What for? Shane: Because! ^_^ Silver: Well, don't! Apart from the fact that - unlike Certain Authors that I could (but won't) name - Terry _knows_ what he's doing, Richard is SO obviously SelfInserted, and I'm allergic to those. Shane: Y'know... I never thought of that... but now that you mention it... Dammit, another illusion gone... Silver: [pats Shane on the back] You'll feel better soon. >"Well, for one thing, it has sentimental value, second, it has >to do with fighting evil, and..." said Chaz. Silver: Okay, but that's CHAOTIC Evil, and don't you forget it! Shane: Aw, forget it. It wouldn't change anything. Er... ! But it DOES make me feel better. ^_^ >"All right, all right! Forget I asked," said Rika, "Let's go, >I'm starved!" Silver: [Chaz] WHAT? I thought... But if you are Starved... where's Rika? Jeanna: LAME! >When they reached the park, they set up. > >"Mmmm.. Chicken!!" sighed Chaz. Silver: Mmm! Tastes like chicken! Er... no, actually, it tastes like _fish_ - [ducks a 50x100] I didn't mean you should start using the metric system! >"What the heck are you sighing about? It's just chicken!" said >Rika. Silver: No, dammit, FISH! [ducks again] >The two finished their lunch, and settled down for a nap. Silver: What! In PUBLIC?? [The girls fireball/whack Silver] >Just as Chaz was nodding off, a football came from out of >nowhere, and hit his head. Silver: Summon Football! Very useful spell for sports freaks... or people who just like to drop 'em at others, of course. Jeanna: Silver, NO ONE is going to think that's funny. Silver: Good! I don't think I'd still be here if no one thought I was funny, so I'm just trying to be as boring as possible - [a cream pie appears from out of nowhere and hits him in the face] X: But THAT was funny, so I think you'll have to stay for awhile... Silver: [fumes] >"Ouch! Hey, who threw this?" Silver: [wiping cream pie from his face] X did. And he WILL pay for it. [the cream turns into dust and vanishes] There... >One of the two boys replied, "Sorry!" Silver: WHICH boy? Where did he come from? Jeanna: No, WITCH boy - Silver: That's WARLOCK! Dammit! >Again, Chaz tried to get back to sleep, and this time he >succeeded. He was awakened by a man who looked an awful lot >like Zio. Silver: [Chaz] Eh? Oh, that guy who was a nuisance a year ago when I was Lv. 25... Oh, well, MEGID... I'm gonna go to sleep again. [Jeanna whacks Silver with an eggplant as the Fourth Wall groans in the background] >"You, you, you..." screamed Chaz, as he readied his sword. [All make "light sabre" noises] >"Woah, calm down! I just wanted to see if you were who I >thought you were!" defended the man. Silver: Who did? Jeanna: ... >"Go ahead," said Chaz. > >"Are you Chaz Ashley?" asked the man. Silver: [Chaz] I asked you first! Shane: [Zor] Did not! Silver: [Chaz] Did too! Shane: [Zor] Did not! Silver: [Chaz] Did not! Shane: [Zor] Did too! Er... Silver: [Chaz] Nya ha ha! BAGGED YA! Jeanna: ...this is like a bad dream... >"How.. b. but... I've.. y.. you.. and.... How do you know >my name?!?" stumbled Chaz. Silver: [man] Because... I _AM_ Zio! Die! MEGID! [himself] The end! ^_^ Jeanna: ...[sweatdrops] >"You were the man who defeated the Profound Darkness! Who >doesn't know you?" answered the man in an annoyed tone. Silver: [Chaz] Well, if you want a list... Jeanna: Silver...! >"Well, it did take a lot of courage on my part and...Ouch!" > >Rika elbowed Chaz, and said, "Well, his friends helped a >little to you know!" Silver: Hey! I LIKE that part! [Jeanna & Shane eye Silver warily] >"Mere technicality! Anyway, as I was saying...Ouch!" > >Rika elbowed him again. > >"Before we continue on the BRAGGING!" said Rika, "Who are you?" Silver: Hey, mebbe X took the wrong fic...? This doesn't seem _that_ bad. >"I am Ture, son of Zio. You destroyed my father Silver: Ah! [deadpans] You killed my br... _father_. Now you die. Jeanna: ...grr. Silver: Well... maybe it IS that bad, after all. Drat. >before madness >could, and before he could destroy Motavia, and for that I am >thankful! Silver: Aww... >He was driven mad with power, and destroyed many a person. >With all the people he killed, my mother was one. I, luckily , >got out in time, before the fire destroyed me. Shane: Nani? What fire? Silver: Probably the SI's Fourth Level Technique - MegaFoi! Jeanna: [looks around worriedly] Watch who you're dissing! That could be bad for your health. Silver: Phah! I'm the - [a safe (manufactured Franz Jaeger) falls on him] Owwie. Shane: Heh! DING! Heh heh! Jeanna: You were saying? ^_^ Silver: OWWIE. >You were in his >fortress the day I was to take him on myself. Being only 18 at >the time, I knew my magic was not enough to take him on, but his >wrongs were so heinous, that I felt it my duty to try, but as I >approached, I noticed some people who were attacking him. Silver: It's the... All: RUN-ON SENTENCE FROM HELL! Silver: Heh... I just love doing that... >I saw >one jump before you to save you. I followed, and waited. When I >saw the casket, I noticed that you were there. I wanted so much >to help, but I felt my appearance too close to my father's, and >left." Jeanna: Um... Silver: Er... Shane: FROM HELL! [the others give her quizzical looks] Shane: FROM HELL! >He continued, "Many months of hard training in the arts helped >my powers to increase a considerable amount. I went to attack, >and remembered what had happened to her. I remembered how much >pain my father had caused you, and decided that I was to help >you . Shane: FROM HELL! Silver: Uh... Shane... you can stop that now. Shane: FROM HELL! [Silver sweatdrops] > I was about to approach you, when I was captured by my >father's guard, and was ordered to death. The day you killed my >father was the day I was to be executed. I soon after escaped, >taking my father's journal as memory from when he wasn't corrupted. >I r eturned to Krup, and dug the woman out. All: AARGH!! Shane: _FROM HELL!_ Jeanna: Not PJ! Silver: Shane & Jeanna: AAAAAAARGH! [both repeatedly whack Silver with 8x16s] Silver: ... >Using an ancient power in the journal, Silver: [ruffles through a small book. Upon closer examination, the book turns out to be "Adventurer's Journal - Pool of Radiance"] Nothing... damn... Jeanna: That's a big no-no, Silver. No 4th Wall-abusing books. >I revived her. She had much to tell about >you, herself, and a powerful magician named Rune. I traveled to >Rune after the great war. Shane: WHAT war? Did I miss something? Silver: No. He's dreaming. Sooner or later, the seven fat cows and seven thin cows will show up, and we'll be certain. Shane: ....DING! Dammit, I almost missed it... >He taught me many a spell. I told him >about Alys, and... Well, he said that I must not do that. Silver: [Ture] I told him about Alys, and he told me I shouldn't do that. He didn't want to hear. He said he has a new girlfriend now - Jeanna: Silver, that is JUST plain stupid. Please stop doing that. >Her >soul was corrupted by the Black Energy Wave. Soon after, she >changed. She went on rampage, breaking everything in sight!" >Ture explained. Silver: ...that actually makes sense... except that Rune wouldn't just go around teaching people spells, but otherwise, not too bad. What's WITH X today? [he fingers his robe] I thought I was finally going to get some USE for this thing... [Jeanna's eyes start sparkling again] [In a place very far from Earth, a certain black-haired and red-eyed girl utters something that sounds suspiciously like "Silver-sama!"] >"But.. But Alys would never do that!" interrupted Chaz. Silver: [Chaz] She wasn't into S&M! Shane: METALLICA! YAY! Jeanna: [dropping 2x4] [sweatdrops] >"I'm not done," Ture replied, "I locked her up, Silver: [Chaz] Shackles? I told you, she ISN'T into that! [Silver gets whacked with large "Microsoft Windows" logo; it breaks, of course, leaving him unharmed] >and went to sleep. >That night, I heard screaming. The next morning, she was gone. Her >door splintered, the lock broken in two like an animal attacked it >for her, she left no trace. Not even a footprint! So, I wanted to >inform you on this! I feel that I might have created a monster." Silver: And IT'S ALIVE!! Jeanna: ...ack. >"Well, that might be a problem!" remarked Chaz, "Lets go and see >Rune. He might give some insight on this problem." Silver: Which MIGHT present a problem... because RUNE LIVES ON ANOTHER PLANET! Jeanna: WHAT? Silver: >They walked on to Aiedo. Coming to Rune's house, Silver: ...namely the Esper Mansion ON DEZO... >they had a problem. Shane: Wasn't the fact that they HAD problem the REASON they were going to seek out Rune in the FIRST place? Jeanna & Silver: ...yeah. >They noticed that Rune left a note. It read, "To anyone coming to >seek information, come later. I am at a magicians' conference. Will >be back in five months." Silver: Yeeeeaaaah, riiiiight... >"Well, that's a problem," sighed Rika. > >"Wait, there's more!" Silver: If you order NOW, not only do you get a problem - you get ANOTHER problem FOR FREE! Call now at 071-I-AM-SCREWED-AND-DIDN'T- EVEN-KNOW-IT! >"The conference is in the Ladea tower. Feel free to come. Signed, >Rune Walsh." Silver: AND WE HAVE...! Damn FAQing idiot... Jeanna: How come YOU can get away with saying things like that? Silver: [^_^ -ing] What? Lost your skill of Hear Spelling? >"Well, what are we waiting for, lets go!" said Chaz. > >They arrived at the Ladiea tower one day later. Silver: As opposed to ONE SECOND later, via Chaz' Ryuka technique! Jeanna: What's got up YOUR pants? Oh, I forgot - you... aren't wearing... any... pants... [gets sparkly-eyed (again) as she looks at Silver] Silver: ...[sweatdrops] >"Where's Rune??" asked Ture. > >"Who called me?" asked Rune, "Why, it's the pip-squeak, and his >friends! How are you doing kiddo?" Silver: THAT's more like the Rune I know... Shane: NANI? Silver: THAT's more like the Rune I... waitaminute... ! Shane: NonononoIdidn'tmeanitlikethat! Silver: <...BRANnnn...> eh? Shane: Phew... >"Well, Ture here has come with a question. It seems that he has >revived Alys, Silver: [Ture] She was GOOD! I give her a "9"! Girls: ACK! [they severely thwack Silver] >and she is nowhere to be found," said Chaz. > >"You WHAT?!?! But... She was hit by the Black Energy Wave! That >means... Oh, God! Shane: ...er... 'god'? Wasn't that 'The Great Light'? Silver: Right! Even got the Caps right. Shane: ... >You just revived the spirit of dark force! Damn!" cried Rune. Silver: [Ture] Oh, poopie... Jeanna: [whacks Silver with a Beta-Max] >"She...err. 'it', is now doing what all the spirits do, create a >Garubak tower and living there! We must go and confront her before... >bfore... se reproduces the Profound Darkness!" said Rune reluctantly. Shane: [Rune] Or before... before... she finds a way to make me TALK COHERENTLY and use CORRECTLY SPELLED WORDS! The HORROR! Jeanna: [singing] It's the end of the world as we know it... >"Oh, great! Not it again! The first was bad enough, but two..." >gasped Rika. Silver: [Rika] TWO? You think I can take TWO at the same time?? Okay, but you better bring LOTS of lubricant - [Jeanna and Shane whack Silver with 32x64s] >"Well, we can't beat it alone! I'll call Demi, Wren, Kyra, and Raja! >They'll come, I hope... But we need to get to the machine center! >Hopefully, the computer has been brought back on-line, and I can >send the message via telecommunication!"Rune dictated. Silver: [Rune] Well, of course I COULD teleport up to Wren with my magic, seeing as I can planet-jump without problems and stuff, but that's just so EASY... >"Well, what are we waiting for? Lets go! We have to stop her!" >cried Chaz. > >At Zelan, Wren receives a message. Silver: YEAH! Lezzee now... how did it go... oh, yeah: INTENSE UN- TENSE TENSE-CHANGING ACTION!! Jeanna: Argh! [thwaps Silver] Silver: Ha! ^_^ "Demi, come quick! We have an incoming transmission from the machine >center on Motivia, and it's from Rika!" said Wren, "They say we have >trouble! Come quick, and bring Raja and Kyra!" > >"Let's take the Landale! Destination, Dezolis," said Demi. Silver: That's Dezo_R_is! Shane: Dezo_L_is! Silver: Dezo_R_is! Shane: Dezo_L_is! Silver: Dezo... Shane: [hurriedly] Dezoris! Dezoris! Silver: ^_^ What I said. >Meanwhile, Hahn and Gryz meet Chaz, Rika, Ture, and Rune. Silver: INTENSE UN-TENSE TENSE-CHANGING ACTION!! Jeanna: ARGH! [whacks Silver with 4x8] Silver: Owwie. ^_^ >"Who... Zio!" cried Gryz. > >"I am not Zio, though I am related, but Ture. My father was Silver: [Ture] ...gay. That's lucky for me, because otherwise, he'd never have started dating my mother. Jeanna: >_< PAINFULLY bad, Silver. >Zio," >said Ture, "I saw my father burn your village too, but, I thought >you were destroyed! I am so glad that you survived! None deserved >to die from my father!" > >"Well, now that's settled, what's the problem?" asked Hahn. > >Just then, the sound of jets crossed overhead. Silver: Jets... Yeah RIIGHT... they don't use those engines to travel IN SPACE, after all... >"Well, they're here!" said Rika, joyfully. > >"Kyra could make it, but Raja couldn't come," Wren said. Silver: ... er - ARGH! BAD MENTAL IMAGE! _BAD_! Jeanna: ...urk. Pervert. >"As I was saying... why are we here?" asked Hahn. Silver: Ah, well, there is a number of answers to that question, none of which has been actually proved, but- Jeanna: [places a hand over Silver's mouth] Look, theological discussions LATER, OK? Can't stand both THAT and a fic at the same time... Silver: [licks her hand; Jeanna quickly removes it and glares evilly at him] Mmm! Tastes like chicken! ^_^ >"Well, it's a problem with Alys. Ture here revived her a couple of >months ago, and she, er, 'It', Shane: EEEEP! Silver: [sigh] Not THAT "It"! Dammit! >has become lost, and we need to destroy 'It' before 'It' reproduces >the Profound Darkness, and have that fight again," Chaz explained. > >"But I thought Alys was good!" said Hahn. Silver: Yeah, but she's CHAOTIC good, and don't you forget it! Jeanna: ... Shane: '...'? Jeanna: YES! '...'! Damnit! I said '...'! Now will you LAY OFF?! >"Well, it has something to do with the Black Energy Wave," answered >Chaz. Shane: Is there ANYTHING in that world that DOESN'T have something to do with that? Silver: ...em, no. >"It's mutated her mind, and destroyed anything that might have >linked her to her past self," added Rune. Silver: [Rune] ...which is why Chaz is sitting here looking so healthy. Any further questions? Girls: [SWEATDROP] Baka... >"We have to get to the Garubek tower before it's too late." > >"Lets go! We are wasting precious time!" cried Rika. Silver: Was that just Brought To Us By The Department Of Redundancy Department, Which Brought Us That? [gets thwapped] Just asking. >They traveled for days in search of the tower, looking for anything >that could give a clue to where it is, and finally found it. > >"Searching on possible life forms.... Found 1 life form... It's >Alys!" said Demi, "We must enter!" > >Just as they walked in the door, a voice boomed Shane: [Voice] Shinra Flame-Proof Pyjamas! Available for a limited time only! [Silver sweatdrops] Jeanna: ...I knew I shouldn't have told her about that... >"Who dares enter my sanctuary? You will survive this trip nevermore! >Prepare to die! Minions... attack!!!" boomed the demon Alys. Silver: No 'you killed' line? No fair! Jenna: ^_^ >Three giant robots came out from the shadows. > >"Wren 486... Primitive, yet... Intriguing," said Wren. Silver: [Wren] But I'm a Wren III 970MMX with triple-speed DVD - >WHAM!< Ow. Jeanna: ...baka. >He pulled his Photon Eraser out, Silver: THAT'S a new word for it - [ducks] Shane: ! Silver: Ow. >and with one single blast, Silver: DISGUSTING! ^_^ Jeanna: ARGH! [breaks the Beta-Max over Silver's head] >they were positronic piles of rubble. > >"How... how did you destroy them? You... you must not survive! You >will fight me now!" boomed the voice. Silver: Ha! [deadpans] You killed my... eh... minions. Now you die. Jeanna: ...ynk. >A shadow came into the light. Silver: There's SOMTHING wrong with that sentence... >"Alys!" cried Chaz. Silver: [Chaz] Boo hoo! Jeanna: IDIOT! [whacks Silver with a cucumber] Silver: Bleah! And now you've ruined a perfectly good cucumber! Do you know how much FUN you could have had with that?? Jeanna: _KILL_!!! [whacks Silver with a 60-kilo anvil] Silver: [quite a bit shorter than usual] Owwie! Owwie! ^_^ Owwie! >"Alys is no more.. Only... DARK FORCE!!" screamed the figure, >"Prepare to die!" Chaz bared his sword. Gryz bared his ax. Wren bared >his gun. Rune bared his cane. Ture bared his daggers. Rika bared her >claws. Demi bared her gun. Silver: YUCK! Jeanna: _ARGH_! [whacks Silver with a microwave oven] >Kyra bared her slashers. Dark Force bared it's teeth. > >Chaz took a slash, and missed. Silver: "Silver attacks"! Jeanna: "DARK FORCE"! Silver: "And misses"! Er... "And hits for"! Jeanna: Oh no you don't! "0 points of damage"! Silver: Jeanna: Ow... Okay, "16 Points of damge"! Silver: "Dark Force goes down"! Jeanna: [sigh] ..."and is dying". >Dark Force countered and cut his arm. >"Ouch!" cried Chaz. > >Rune muttered, "Flaili!" Silver: DAMNIT!! IT'S A BLOODY DF!! USE EFESS YOU _STUPID_ _IDIOT_!! Jeanna: WHAT? Silver: Jeanna: ...gnk. @_@ Shane: [sweatdrop] How come she ALWAYS does that at the LEAST APPROPROATE MOMENT...? >A bolt of fire attacked 'It'. Shane: IT?! NOOO!! GET IT AWAY FROM ME! Silver: ...STILL wrong "It", Shane. Shane: Glp... >The magic hit it's mark. Rika >went in for a double slash, and hit! > >"Ohhh!!" groaned Dark Force. Silver: [shivers] Don't go there... >Wren and Demi Both fired. Wren hit! Kyra threw her slashers, >and missed. Silver: "Kyra attacks"! Jeanna: Not AGAIN... Silver: Aw, you're no fun. >"What's that sound??" > >Dark Force's mouth slowly opened. > >"Oh, oh no!" Silver: I'm NOT EVEN going to say it. NOT EVEN. Jeanna: Good boy. ^_^ >A bolt of darkness flew, Barely missing the group. Chaz slashed, >and hit! Gryz whispered a word, and Dark Force suddenly expanded! Silver: "Silver casts a spell"! Jeanna: ...I pass. Shane: Me! Me! I'll do it! Silver: Okay... "Silver casts a spell"! Shane: "DARK FORCE takes 99999 points of damage from magic"! Silver: GOOD! At least SOMEONE gets it! Jeanna: ... >Dark Force wailed in pain! > >Ture cried, "Natzie!" Silver: FunkyAnimeStyleAttackName! Jeanna: Ultra Mega Hyper Super-Duper GROIN SMASH! Silver: [grimaces and sweatdrops] >And a magical bolt, like a star came crashing out of his fingers, >colliding with Dark Force! Dark Force slashed at Gryz, cutting his >chest from one side to the other! Silver: Ow. That's gonna leave a mark. ^_^ >"Gisar!" cried Rika. Silver: ...Gisar is a MULTI-TARGET MID-LEVEL healing spell. For wounds like THAT, you use NARES! Baka yaru! Shane: ...er... it's just a fic... >A flash of light grew around Gryz's chest, closing the wound. > >"Efess!" Silver: FINALLY! >Rune cast a spell, calling beings from another realm. Silver: [Rune] Go Pikachu! Shane: AACK! POKEMON! _KILL_! Silver: Itai... > They attacked >Dark Force! Wren attacked . A chest plate opened, and a bolt of fire >came out Silver: [soot-black] ...of the closet. Damn shame, too, because she was a HOTTIE - Shane: ! >, hitting Dark Force. >Chaz went for the closing blow, and >missed! Dark Force slashed Chaz's chest and throat, making it >impossible to breathe. "Nasar!" bellowed Chaz through the blood and >pain. Jeanna: Er...? Silver: Yeah, _er_. Not to mention the fact that CHAZ CAN'T CAST SAR! Girls: [grinning insanely] WHAT? Silver: ... Girls: [sweatdrop-ing and waving white flags] WE'RE SORRY! WE'RE SORRY! >A light circled him. Rune went for the final blow! > >"Najasika!" called Rune. Silver: [Rune, on the phone] Hello? Ah, Najasika! How are you! Oh, fine... So how about we get together and have lunch or something? Monday? Fine, I'll be there... CYA. Jeanna: Silver. The ONLY reason I didn't whack you for that, is because it was called for. Don't forget that. Silver: So For called too? [ducks] Hee hee... ^_^ >His body became enveloped by light! Suddenly, a beam reached out, >hitting Dark Force! > >"Ohhhhhh!" groaned Dark Force! Silver: Ack! I said, _Don't go there_! [shivers] I'll get 'Quest for Aerith' flashbacks if you keep that up! Girls: AAAAAAAAACK! >A bright light flashed, blinding all of them! When the light >subsided, they all saw Alys sitting on the ground. All: How CONVEEEENIENT... >"Alys!" cried Chaz. > >"Chaz... (Cough) Y.... You have done well... I.. It's nice to see you >again... You got your wish... I... I am proud of you... I (Cough) I >hope... To say... Good-bye.... Chaz... Ch.. az..." said Alys. Jeanna: "Said"? It looks more like "gasped and coughed and babbled" to me! Silver: Jeanna, that's NOT like you. Your tolerance level is usually quite high. Jeanna: Well sod it! Tolerance level my foot! >"She... She is.." Shane: [Rika] ...in the microwav... [herself] wait a minute! That wasn't called for. Silver: But say it anyway! ^_^ Some people LIKE that joke. >"Sleeping," interrupted Rune. Silver: [Rune] ...with me. Mmm, first Rika, then Alys - [ducks 4x8] You're getting old, Jeanna. Normally, I'd have to cast a Fullcure after saying something like that. >"Come on! Lets go get dark force!" said Chaz. Silver: [Chaz] Yeah, let's go get Dark Forces! It's SUCH A COOL GAME! Jeanna: Argh... >"Too late! Dark Force is no more, and Alys is alive!" said Rune. > >"I'm glad. Lets go home Alys," said Chaz. Shane: Wasn't Alys, like, unconscious? Silver: S&N... >"Ture, I... Ture??? Where'd he go?" > >"He left," said Hahn. All: EXIT! STAGE LEFT! >"Thank you Ture," whispered Chaz. ===[?]=== Silver: ...end...? X: Yes, end. Silver: Then you don't need this theatre for a while? X: No I don... ... I mean yes! I need it! Silver: Too late. ===[Somewhere very far a away from Earth]=== X: AARGH! THEY DID IT AGAIN! Y: I TOLD you he'd be trouble! X: [not listenting] And the Theme Song Generator fried before it even activated! I'm gonna make them PAY FOR THIS! Y: Eh... want me to check the archives for PJ fics? X: ...well... Y: I TOLD you he'd be trouble! X: [small voice] ...I give up... I'll send him home... Y: ...maybe that's the best idea.... X: Yeah... he'd probably find out where we put them soon anyway... Y: That's not good, is it? X: No. Y: So... X: Yeah. I'll send him home next time we talk. But for now... [X presses the large red button that appears in empty air] \ | / \ | / \|/ ----O---- ZAP! /|\ / | \ / | \ [silence] X: ...Y... would you like me better if I dressed up like Sephiroth? THE REAL END! ...of Episode 5. Sorry; this one wasn't really bad enough (except for the "Chaz attacked. He missed." part), but heck, it's better than nothing. The next one will be better.... er... worse... The MSTing thing will be better, of course. [sweatdrop] I talk too much. Anyway, that's it for now. Later... (Oh, and a tilde for anyone who notices a small but significant change! ;) >Demi bared her gun.