___ / /__ R A C K I N D U C E D __ /__] / \ E A L I T Y _____________________________ __ / _ /__/ A I D E N : ___ ___ /_ / / /__ P I S O D E /__/ N E ====================================================================== Ancient Rhythms by: CBIzumi Riffed with author's permission. Thanks! ^_^ ====================================================================== Things were black. Very black. X /liked/ black, but at the moment, it only annoyed him. "I... am... SO... incredibly... /bored/." "Only two days ago you said you were /so/ incredibly happy to be rid of those mortals," Y remarked. ".../yes/," X replied irately, "but that was two /days/ ago, and besides, I'd forgotten how /bloody boring/ this place really is." Y sighed. "No doubt that means you have a /new/ fantastic plan." She didn't, X noticed, sound overly enthusiastic. Of course, he /knew/ that his last thirty-four 'brilliant' plans had ended up being complete and utter failures, but that wasn't /his/ fault. Well, except for #23. That had been his fault. Oh, and probably #17 as well, although that was mainly to blame on the duck, the 'enlarge' potion, and the seaweed-scented deodorant. He seemed to recall some trouble with #11 as well, although that was rather hazy. Come to think of it, the haze was probably the cause of all the trouble. How was HE supposed to know those mushrooms weren't for eating? Eh-EM. ANYway... "Actually, it's quite simple." "It usually is." Y's voice betrayed no emotions. Of course, it almost never did. It seemed a bit more purposeful this time, however. X glowered at her. "/Simple/," he repeated. "I will just bring back the three lunatics and show them some more painfully bad fanfiction." Y groaned. And Y /didn't/ groan. It was one of those things that just plain did not happen. X glared venomously at her. "Do you perchance have any /better/ ideas?" he asked acidly. "...how about /anything/ else?" Y suggested, with a slight tone of sarcasm in her voice. X fumed. "Never /mind/ that! I'm gonna do it before I go insane..." Y didn't reply. She just sank through the floor - if there had ever /been/ a floor; perhaps it, too, was just blackness. X sighed, and cast the spell. ====================================================================== The setting... is a café. A rather nice one, even. It consists of one large room with about fifteen or sixteen round tables, with lots of space between to allow the guests to some privacy, although not /too/ much. Everything needed in a café seems to be in order... only /very yellow/. Various foodstuff and drinks can be found at a counter further in. Everything, from sandwiches to cake to garlic-boiled slugs, looks very nice and fresh, and if we blame this on magic, we're probably on the right track. There's no one behind the counter to take money for any of these things, however. In fact, there's only three people there at the moment, and all of them are guests. They are seated at a table close to one of the large windows, having a nice view of the street outside. One is a short, dark-skinned woman with rather long, silvery-white hair and green eyes; another is a lanky young man with brown hair and green eyes; and the third, a second woman, this one brown-haired and blue-eyed... and with large black, silky-looking batwings growing from her shoulders. The others seem to pay no attention to this whatsoever. The three seemed to have helped themselves to whatever foods and drinks they could easily recognise, carefully avoiding the multitude of things they /didn't/ recognise - especially after seeing some of the more exotic pieces move - and taken the best seats they could find, which meant the two women had carefully positioned themselves in a way that gave them clear vision across the room, hid them from anyone who might be looking in, and, most importantly, kept their backs to the stone wall. The man, on the other hand, slouched comfortably on the other side of the table, paying more attention to the street outside than the room itself. None of them seemed really comfortable with the situation, and the mood wasn't the best. For quite some time, the group was silent. "The food here's not as bad as all that, Jeanna," the man said suddenly, as if he was continuing a discussion. The dark-skinned woman made a sour face. "...yes it is," she insisted. "/Any/ moron knows it's /lime/ and not lemons that goes in this tea." In spite of this, she was on her third cup, and didn't seem all /that/ terribly displeased. "/I/ like it," the other woman remarked. "...so you're not just /any/ moron, then," the first told her calmly, and emptied her cup. "...hmph," the brunette scoffed. "There's no need to get all angry, is there?" the man hurried to say as the two women exchanged evil glances. "...no, since I already /am/ all angry," Jeanna informed, and refilled her cup. "...oh." The man seemed to be thinking for a few seconds, and continued, "So, ah, what's this X person like?" Jeanna shrugged, showing a certain lack of enthusiasm. "...think insane," she said after a second of thought. "And then some. I don't really know much more about him." "Not my type of person, I take it." Jeanna shrugged. Silence reigned for another couple of minutes. This time, it was the brunette woman who overthrew it with a simple question. "So... What do you do for a living, Jeanna?" "I... do a little bit of everything," Jeanna replied. There was a pause, and then, without any real interest, she did what she was expected to, and continued: "And you two? Kaneruil?" The other woman smiled. "It's pretty much the same thing for me too..." Jeanna gave her a steady look. "I can believe that," she said with a significant amount of sarcasm. Sensing some tension in the air, the as-of-yet nameless man once more tried to turn things towards a more pleasant conversation. "So, ah..." He seemed to search for a subject. "...why exactly did you suggest not going in that theatre?" Jeanna glared at him. "...because," she stated, "I'm /tired/ of theatres." It was at that point that things decided to turn inside out. A few seconds later, a half-emptied teacup shattered against the yellow stone floor. The hand that had held it, and the body attached to said hand, had vanished. The room was now devoid of life. ...well, apart from some of the sandwiches. =================================================================== The all-too-familiar feeling of travelling through a dark tunnel at breakneck speed had ended against a hard, horizontal surface. More exactly, it had ended in a heap. Jeanna was not happy. This was becoming a habit, and she /didn't like/ that. "Get... off!" she growled, her voice slightly muffled by something soft, the exact nature of which she was sure she didn't want explained to her. "Grr! Why do I /always/ have to end up at the /bottom/ of the pile when this happens?" The person on top of her, who had started to move, sniggered and, in a tone that suggested either drug use or, more likely considering recent events, severe magic-induced teleport lag. "I'm... sure I don't know." "Oh, yes, /sure/ you don't!" Jeanna fumed. "And don't pretend like /this/ isn't your hand, but /that/ part belongs to /me/, thankyou- verymuch! ... /Ack/! DON'T-DARE-AS-MUCH-AS-MOVE-A-FINGER!" Jeanna rolled away and got to her feet, still fuming. "If I /ever/ find out that you did that on purpose, I'm going to turn your thighbone into a hairbrush!" Before things could turn sour, the young man from the café materialised in the air, and slowly floated down to the floor, quite composed. "So..." he started, seemingly more curious than surprised, "where exactly is this place?" Jeanna looked around. It was fairly dark in the room - that was all she could be sure of; it /was/ a room. A rather large one, too. She couldn't make out any distinguishing features anywhere. Things were made much clearer, however, as someone spoke, in a rather puzzled tone of voice. "...WTF? Who the hell are /you/ people?" Jeanna froze in position. Then she drew her sword. Pointing said sword accusingly at the ceiling, she called out, in a tone that suggested that using the word 'rage' to describe her feelings would, by far, be insufficient: "/YOU/!" "...yes," the mysterious speaker told them impatiently. "/Me/. And once again, /who/ are these people?" "Hello... X, is it?" Looking slightly down and to the left of Jeanna, the young man seemed to address empty air, or, possibly, something /beyond/ the air. "My name's Reniharu. The succubus is Kaneruil." Kaneruil, meanwhile, was busy blinking, and trying to clear her head from teleportlag for the /second/ time that day. Fuming, and ignoring everything except the bodiless voice, Jeanna snapped, "Never /mind/ that! What the hell are you up to, anyway?" X seemed to smirk. "I was just getting to that. You see, I'm bored. And when I'm bored, Things Happen. Only I make sure they happen to other people. Catch my drift?" Still staring at, apparently, nothing, Reniharu asked, "Are you sure you're able to make sure?" "I have been able to manage so far, thankyouforasking," X informed, still with the smirking feeling in his voice. "...oh, and, that's my reflection in the monitor. Thirty centimetres to your left, that's a good boy." "Oh yes," Reniharu replied calmly, shifting his gaze accordingly. "My bad. So you want us to read something horrible? ...and no, Kaneruil, X isn't going to be interested in you." Kaneruil, having almost finished blinking, pouted. "Actually..." X's voice took on a slightly unpleasant tone. "...I am /quite/ interested. You see, I was making plans for /certain/ people, but since they are nowhere to be found, for /some/ reason, which I believe I can put a name on, damn I hate that wizard, you may as well fill in for them while they're gone." Reniharu smiled. "Actually, I think they're already doing what you want us to do. ...and no, the lemon would not be a wise choice at /all/." "Wouldn't dream of it!" X told them, far too happily. "You see, some of the people I was expecting to show up today are allergic to those, and I don't want the dry-cleaning costs to be any higher than they need to. No, what I intended to offer you this glorious evening is a prime example of... Mary Sue." And with that, he fired off a rather impressive, if quite standard, Evil Villain Laugh(TM). Jeanna, seething, thrust her sword towards the ceiling. "You /know/ I have decided to carve a chocobo out of your spleen for the entire theatre thing, X," she growled, "but for /this/ little escapade, I think I'll just have to use your left kidney as well!" X sniggered. "Ooh. I'm positively /shaking/ with fear. Now can we get this over with so I won't be bored anymore?" "...very well. But would you mind putting us back afterwards?" Reniharu asked. "I was rather enjoying the food." "...we'll see about that," X said, keeping the smirking overtone in his voice. "Let's just say that good children may enjoy a nice reward, shall we...?" "...mmhmm. Where exactly are we, did you say?" X's audible grin widened. "...I didn't. Oh, don't worry. Unless you try to get out, it should be perfectly safe." Reniharu blinked. "...red... dust? I... see." "Yes," X said, rather acidly, "I noticed that. By the way, unless I see the three of you inside the room to your left in about five minutes, you'll be able to see a lot more red dust. Ta!" There was a "snap!" sound as X's "presence" vanishes and the speakers went dead. Jeanna sighed. "...I hate him," she confessed. "A /whole/ lot. ... Anyway, popcorn, anyone?" "Sure," Reniharu replied, and after casting a glance to his left, disappeared. Jeanna, not in the least phased by this, simply addressed the empty space where Reniharu had been a second ago. "...I'm not carrying it for you, you know. It's in the drawer. ...of course, you probably know where, anyway." She scowled. As she turned to leave, Kaneruil, still blinking occasionally and shaking her head, prodded her shoulder "...what just happened?" Jeanna opened her mouth to give a lengthy answer, decided against it, and went for a short version. "...we were kidnapped. And threatened by a guy whose spleen is getting dangerously close to assuming the shape of a chocobo. Grab some popcorn and meet me in the next room." Not about to ask more at this point, Kaneruil did so. As the two entered the theatre, Reniharu, already seated in the front row, looked at Jeanna and blinked. A box of popcorn appeared in his hand. "Showoff," Jeanna muttered. "Oh, and if you are about to start making perverted comments as well, I should warn you that I have a lot of 2x4s and a mean backhand swing." With that, she sat down in her usual seat, to Reniharu's right. "I," he said, way too innocently, "have /no/ idea what you mean." As Kaneruil slowly took the seat to her right, Jeanna glowered at Reniharu. "...I won't even dignify that with an answer." =B=E=G=I=N===M=S=T==================================================== > Ancient Rhythms > > Author: CBIzumi Reniharu: A member of the EBI? Jeanna: Sub-division of NBCI? Reniharu: Close. Close. Not quite that Evil, however. > PG-13 > Action/Adventure/General > > > > CBIzumi: Well, this is it! My first Final Fantasy 7 > story/series! Yay! ^___^ All: ACK! Jeanna: DoNOTmentionficbeingyourfirstevilauthorevilevilevil! (Kaneruil and Reniharu blink, and shift away from Jeanna, who, at this point, doesn't seem to notice.) > Cloud: You call? > > CBIzumi: *jumps, startled* Kaneruil: [Author] ACK! Runaway chocobo! ...oh, it's just you. > Davis: Hey, what's he doing here?! I thought this > place before each story was for Digimon characters only! Jeanna: Pocket monsters, digital monsters, whatever - I'm just glad Shane isn't here... Reniharu: What's wrong with the cute and fuzzy cockfighting seizure monsters? > Cloud: Well, since she's writing FF7 stuff now, it's > my duty to be here > > CBIzumi: *under her breath* I shoulda requested > Sephiroth... Jeanna: Sephy-kun! (sparkly-eyes) > Cloud: What did you say? > > CBIzumi: Nothing! *nervous laugh* Anyway... *turns to > the reader* This being my 1st FF7 series, please go > easy on me! X: Sure I will! That's why I hired the /best/ for this job! Jeanna: ...flattery will get you SOMEwhere, X. Definitely SOMEwhere. > I've never done any video game stories > before ^^; Anyway, Marina Norland and Imperia are > copyright ME, Jeanna: [Author] I 0wnz0rz 'em. Reniharu: Augh! Not her! ...what? What? Why are you looking at me like that? > but everyone else is copyrighted to Squaresoft. Also, > the first few stories in this series All: SERIES? AAACK! > are closely related to the game, Jeanna: No, /really/? And here I thought this was a /fanfic/... > more so than the rest, the game being what I > used as a crutch to get me started. Don't worry > though, they'll depart from the game more and > more with each story! Reniharu: But... fanfic... > Cloud: So let's get on with the show! Kaneruil: [Cloud] First I'll take off my-OW! Hey! That hurts! > Davis: *sweatdrop* > > > Ancient Rhythms Chapter 1: Jeanna: "In the Ghetto"? Kaneruil: "Ride of the Valkyries"? Reniharu: "Overture for Two Small Stones and One Big Rock"? > Ancient Tale > > "Your Chocobo is turning out great" Choco Billy > complimented. Jeanna: [Billy, badly dubbed] But your Chi is weak! > "He is, isn't he?" Aeris said, feeding the large > bird a Gyashi Green. It chirped with delight. Reniharu: [Gysahl green] Wai! I'm being eaten by a chocobo! > "Well, we gotta go" Cloud announced, walking up to > the Chocobo. "Take care C.T." Reniharu: Barnum. > he said, patting it on the head. C.T. squawked, Jeanna: Chocobos WARK, dammit. >.< > and Cloud, Tifa, and Aeris walked out. > > "When do you think we should race C.T. again?" Aeris > asked. > > "Well, he's at B class right now..." Tifa said. Jeanna: (twitching) Game... terms... evil... > "I think we should let C.T. rest for a while, and > then---" Cloud began, but was > interrupted by a loud, reptilian roar. Reniharu: (Badly dubbed) Godzilla is coming! > "What was that?" Aeris asked, startled. Kaneruil: That was... THE END OF THE WORLD! Reniharu: (sings) ...and I feel fi~ine... Jeanna: (blinking) ...you know, I never thought /anyone/ could make /that/ song sound good... Kaneruil: ...lives up to your expectations, does he? Jeanna: ...quite. (she slips on earguards) I got spares if you want. > "That's the Midgar Zolom! Come on!" Tifa exclaimed, > running towards the marsh. Jeanna: [Cloud] Silly Tifa. Why go /that/ way when we can, uhm, /run away/ or something? > Cloud and Aeris looked at each other and nodded > before running after her. (Kaneruil stares at Cloud's rear, while Jeanna fumes since Sephiroth isn't present.) > When the trio arrived, they gasped in amazement at > what they saw. The huge snake was working on breaking > ice off the end of its tail. Reniharu: With no hands? Jeanna: ...Reniharu, it doesn't /need/ hands to break it /against the caster/. Reniharu: (blinks) ...good point. > Standing at the edge of the marsh, sword in hand, was > a girl who appeared to be around 18. She had dirty Kaneruil: Thoughts. (grins perversely) Jeanna: Methinks someone /else/ here is having those... Kaneruil: And there's something wrong with them? Jeanna: No. Not wrong... just dangerous. > blond hair in a braid that came down to her ankles. Jeanna: Thus she kept stumbling and would be in need of a Phoenix Down /any/ minute now. > She was wearing sunglasses, and had fair skin. She > was also wearing an open, short sleeved denim jacket, > which ended just below her breasts, Kaneruil: Hmmph. You don't just reveal what you have. Jeanna: No, you most /definitely/ don't. People generally aim for the biggest target. ... Hm. Reniharu: (nervously) ...why are you looking at my head? > and a white long sleeved shirt beneath it. Her jeans > were loose, the folds nearly covering the simple brown > boots she had on. Jeanna: Argh! The jeans are loose! /The jeans are loose/! Run for your lives! They got the boots! They got the goddamn /boots/! Run! /Run/, I say! (blinks) ...Boots... (blinks) ...does anyone know what the /fuck/ was in that cereal we had before we came here? (Kaneruil blankly shakes her head, as Reniharu not-so-discretely shuffles away from Jeanna.) > A sheath was around her waist, and a > silver armlet was on her right arm. The sword she held was, > to Cloud's surprise, a Murasame Blade. Kaneruil: Daggers are better than swords, they're much faster. Jeanna: ...and easier to conceal, and hopefully not /cursed/... > "Come on you big cobra" she challenged. The snake Kaneruil: Mmmm. Snakes. Jeanna: O.o Ick... > shook off the rest of the ice, and turned towards the > girl with a roar. > "Let's go help her!" Cloud ordered. Jeanna: [Barret] What for? Let's just cross while the snake's busy... > Tifa tightened the straps on the Platinum Fist; Aeris > twirled her Prism Staff, and Cloud drew his Rune Blade. Kaneruil: Not a Rune Dagger? Jeanna: I'd prefer Rune Walsh. He's hot. > They ran towards the marsh, joining the girl. The mysterious > young lady looked at Aeris, who was on her left, and Cloud > and Tifa, who were on her right. Reniharu: And then looked back at Cloud who was on her front, and Aeris who was on her back... (Jeanna draws her sword and smacks Reniharu over the head with the flatside, breaking his chair and leaving Reniharu sitting on the floor with several wooden splinters in his backside.) Reniharu: What? What? What'd I say? (Jeanna seems about to say something, but ends up blinking several times, opening and shutting her mouth a bit, and facepalming while moaning "Why me...". This does not help Reniharu's state of confusion very much.) > "Aeris, use any advanced Magic you have. Tifa, you > and I will attack physically. You, girl, use whatever > you're best at!" Cloud commanded. Kaneruil: ["Girl"] All right, but it'll cost you 450 gil per person - >wham!< Jeanna: (fuming, tossing killer whale over shoulder) ...I'm letting you off with a warning this time. > "Right!" Tifa and Aeris called out simultaneously. > Aeris floated her staff in (Kaneruil snickers. Jeanna, without looking, whaps her with a seat cushion stolen from TSG's house.) > front of her, casting Bolt2. Tifa punched and > kicked, while Cloud slashed. The new girl held > her sword upright, then parallel with (Kaneruil has to be physically restrained, and is, if you count "aggressive use of extensively large flounder" as "restraint".) > the ground, which cast Ice2. Jeanna: [ground] Ph33r me! I know ice magic! Reniharu: I know kung fu! (This would be less impressive if not for the fact he is standing in mid-air while posing.) Jeanna: (muttering) Great... I /hate/ bloody show-offs... > This was enough to chase the Midgar Zolom off, which > dived back into the marsh. Reniharu [Midgar Zolom]: Aaaack! Avatar! I'll be good! I'll be good! > "Thanks for your help..." the girl said quietly, > resheathing her sword. She turned to walk away. > "But I didn't need it" Jeanna: Oh no, of /course/ you didn't. Reniharu [as girl]: I had a Fire materia linked to an Elemental materia in my armor! (Jeanna twitches severely.) > "Hey wait" Tifa called out. The girl stopped walking. > "Can we at least know who you are?" she requested. > > "Marina...Marina Norland" the girl said quietly, Reniharu: What's neither water nor land? Jeanna: ...lame... Reniharu: What are you asking, with stuff like this to work with? > turning to face the trio. > > "I'm Aeris Gainsborough" Jeanna: [Aeris] ...and I've lost my fullstop! Will you help me look for it? > "Tifa Lockheart" Kaneruil: [Tifa] Sure... ack! Yours grabbed mine and ran off with it! /This means war/! > "...Cloud Strife..." Marina looked at Cloud, seeming to > study him. Kaneruil: Hmph. He's too good for someone like you. Jeanna: Egh... look... /Cloud/ isn't too good for /anyone/, okay? > "Your eyes...they're SOLDIER eyes..." she said quietly, > after a moment or two. Jeanna: [Avatar] You're lucky they aren't Betty Davies' eyes. If they were, I'd rip them out. > "How did you know that?" Cloud asked, looking at her > in confusion. > > "Because I... Reniharu: [Marina] ...played the game. Jeanna: Duckfourthwallfallingon- >crash< Jeanna: ...you. > no, nevermind" Marina said. Jeanna: (jumps up) Aaaah! The gnomes! The gnomes! Not the gnomes! (Kaneruil and Reniharu sweatdrop. Jeanna eventually calms down and goes back to her seat, several shades redder.) > "Please tell us" Aeris pleaded. Marina sighed, > removing her sunglasses. Her eyes were closed. Jeanna: [Marina] No. Because /that/... is a secret. Reniharu: I want to meet Xellos one of these days. Jeanna: (fingering sword) Me too. Me too... > "Because they're just like mine" she said simply, > opening her eyes. Kaneruil: [Marina] Look into my eyes... you are getting horny... (Jeanna takes a deep breath, and lets it out slowly. Then she starts glowing. Her hand slowly moves closer to the hilt of her sword - there is a flash of light - and Jeanna appears on the other side of Kaneruil, slightly crouched, sword in hand.) Jeanna: (still glowing) ...try saying that again... without vocal cords. (she wipes the blood from her sword - although it's hard to tell against the black blade - and walks back to her seat, sitting down as if nothing happened. Just as she sits down, however...) Kaneruil: Okay! If you insist... (Jeanna blinks. Then she turns to glare at Reniharu, who grins.) Silver's voice: One /thinks/ you would learn after all this time. (There is a very ^_^ feeling in the air.) Jeanna: (still glowing) I /have/ learned. The next time, I'm cutting off /both/ their heads. > The group gasped when they saw > the same green, Mako glow that was among the rich blue > color of her eyes, just like Cloud's eyes. She > slipped Jeanna: (still glowing) ...and fell and broke her neck. The end. X: Oh, /please/. /That/ is just /pathetic/. And it's been tried... lemme check... um, this is a /lot/ of numbers... Jeanna: (coldly, powering down) We /get/ it, X. X: (happily) Good! > her sunglasses back on. > > "You're in SOLDIER?" Tifa asked. Kaneruil: Don't you mean that the other-OW? Jeanna: (rubbing her elbow) Just... argh. Look, even the /wizard/ realises /that's/ lame. Silver's voice: Well, yeah, but this /stops/ me from saying it anyway just /how/? (The ^_^ feeling returns, slightly stronger this time, and Jeanna fumes.) > "I WAS in SOLDIER" Marina corrected. "Sorry, I have > to go. Jeanna: [Marina] I have a weak bladder. > It's Imperia's feeding time" Kaneruil: [Marina] ...on second thought, why don't you people come along...? > "Whoa, Imperia? You mean that's your Gold Chocobo in > the stall next to C.T.?" Cloud asked in amazement. Reniharu: No, mine's the Puce Chocobo. Jeanna: Bah. Any avatar worth her Materia knows that /plaid/ chocobos are in style this year. > "Yeah. Hey, if you guys wanna talk, I'll be at Choco > Bill's" Marina announced, walking off. Cloud and the > others hesitated, but followed. Jeanna and Reniharu: (Zombielike) Where... Avatar... goes... we... must... follow... (Jeanna glares, and whacks Reniharu over the head with an Ultima Online box.) > ~*~ > > "Here you go" Choco Bill said, refilling Tifa's > teacup. Kaneruil: Refill? I didn't know they could go empty! Reniharu: That's /D/ cup, Kaneruil... oh my. Jeanna: (fuming, looking back and forth between the other two) Hmm... Who to hit... oh whatever. (Jeanna whips out two sturgeons, and SPLATs them against Kaneruil and Reniharu.) Well, I /do/ have two hands. > "Thanks" Tifa said. Choco Bill nodded, and moved on > to Aeris. Tifa took a sip from the cup and Jeanna: ...fell over, victim of Bill's Robber Tea. Reniharu: That's Suikoden, not Final Fantasy. Jeanna: Yes, /that/ is, but /this/ is MSTverse, and owdammithatehatehatefourthbloodywall. (Aforesaid fourth wall reconstructs itself while Jeanna keeps spitting PG-13-rated swearwords.) > looked at Marina. "So, where are you from?" Reniharu: Jusenkyo Mordor. It's at solate- Jeanna: GAH! (Jeanna dives to the side as the Fourth Wall, somewhat sluggishly, falls over again, neatly hitting Reniharu, and /only/ Reniharu, on the head, and straightens up again, noticeably slower this time.) > "Midgar" Marina answered, looking at her reflection > in her Silver Armlet. (Jeanna collapses) Kaneruil: ...you okay? Jeanna: (from the floor) Caps... indicating... ingame... objects... pain... >.< > "But I haven't been there since I left SOLDIER" > > "Cloud, I thought they didn't let girls into SOLDIER" > Aeris said thoughtfully. Jeanna: [Cloud] What? Oh, no, you misunderstood. I said /you/ couldn't get into SOLDIER. > "Can we drop it? Why do you think I wear sunglasses? X: (popping up in front of the riffers, wearing Ray-Bans) Because dey be cool, man! (X vanishes, a millisecond before several random but fatal objects land, and in one case levitates to, where he was standing.) > It's to hide the fact that I was in SOLDIER. > Besides, I don't want to talk about Shinra > anymore" Marina said disdainfully. Jeanna: [Marina] Because I have a Mysterious Past(TM) with a Dark and Terrible Secret(R). Standard Avatar toolkit. > "You hate Shinra too, huh?" Cloud asked. Marina > nodded. "Yeah, that's why we created AVALANCHE. Reniharu: I thought that was because you kept yelling all the time. Jeanna: [Barret] Don't diss da CAPS, foo! > Well, Barret did, we just joined..." he continued, > trailing off. It was Marina's turn to be surprised. > > "You mean you guys are the AVALANCHE??" Jeanna: [Barret] No, we be da LANDSLIDE. Youse gots da wrong resistance group. > "Well, some of us, anyway" Aeris replied. > > "Who else is in the group?" Marina asked. Jeanna: [Cloud] Well, there's Lina, Gourry, Zelgadiss, Amelia, that annoying-ass Xellos... Kaneruil: [Cloud] ...Millenia, Elena, Ryudo, Mareg, Tio, Roan... Reniharu: [Cloud] ...Gremio, Cleo, Viktor, Mathiu, Camille, Tai Ho, Yam Koo, Luc... > "Well, there's Barret, Reniharu: [Cloud] ...Giovanni, Krin, Kirkis, Gaspar, Meg, Sheena, Viki, Valeria... > Cait Sith, Cid, Yuffie, Reniharu: [Cloud] ...Leonardo, Milich, Qlon, Ivanov, Kasios, Kasumi, Lester, Georges... (The girls sweatdrop.) > Vincent, and Reniharu: [Cloud] (hurriedly, breathing fast) ...Pesmerga Crowley Leon Griffith Warren Kasim Vincent Max Sancho and Sonya. >Red XIII. You'll get to meet them > all eventually, if you join" Tifa answered. Reniharu: AVALANCHE is technically disbanded before you can get Vincent, is it not? Jeanna: Forget AVALANCHE - exactly /how/ bad do you have to be at this game to have problems with /Midgar Zoloms/ when you're /that/ far into the game? > "Can I join?" Marina questioned. > > "Cloud...?" Tifa said, looking at their spiky-haired > leader. Kaneruil: [Cloud] Well, is the bed big enough - ACKputthatawayIdonot- wanttospendfivehoursgettingbloodstainsoutofmyclothesagainthankyouvery- mucharen'tthestainsfromwhenyoucutoffmyheadenough? > "Well.." Cloud said slowly. "How are your fighting > skills?" > > "Well, my physical fighting could stand to be > improved, Jeanna: [Marina] I'm only level /97/! > but I'm really good with Materia" Marina > answered. "Let's see here. I've got > an Ice crystal that's up to Ice2, (Jeanna twitches) > a Restore crystal that's up to Cure2, (Jeanna twitches again.) > and a new summon called AQUA Bahamut" Reniharu: [Leviathan] Hey! That's /my/ job! > "A new summon? Sounds interesting" Cloud commented. > > "You know, I have a race tonight, if you'd like to > come and see" Marina offered. Kaneruil: A Sadie Hawkins Race? > "We'd love to" Aeris said, smiling. > > "Shall we ship Imperia to the Gold Saucer, or are > you going to ride him?" Choco Bill asked. Kaneruil: Hnh, hnh, /what are you doing with that Pretzel/?! Jeanna: (digging trough Portable Hole) Hmm... Pretzels... pretzels... what the heck... (digs deeper) Bloody hell... (Jeanna vanishes into the PH. Muttering can be heard. Moments later she returns with a box labelled "PRETZELS". She studies this and its contents closely, takes a bite out of the latter, and blinks.) Jeanna: ...what the /hell/? I don't /even/ want to /know/ what you were referring to there. (Jeanna throws the box over her shoulder. Reniharu telekinetically catches it as it falls, making it float back to him, and absent- mindedly starts nibbling on a pretzel, while Kaneruil doubles over laughing.) > "Ship him. And do you think you can give us a ride?" > Marina asked. Kaneruil: [Cloud] Not /you/, but we'll be glad to take the bird... Jeanna: [Aeris] There's a /reason/ why the company is called FriedChocoboWingsRecords. ^.^ > "Sure, no problem" Choco Bill said, walking out. > Marina got up to follow him. However, as she did, Kaneruil: ...she walked into the door, causing herself severe embarrassment. > she looked at Aeris. 'I sense something about her' she > thought, walking out. However, little did she know, > Aeris was thinking the same thing about Marina. Reniharu: [Aeris, thinking] I can store boats in her. > > ~*~ > > "Hey Ester" Marina greeted. Jeanna: [Marina] Intense... Avatar... Omniscience... Power... /make up!/ /I knoweth thy name, insignificant NPC person!/ Reniharu: But it /said/ she's been doing that for- Jeanna: (glaring) So /what/? That's a /perfectly/ good riff! > "Hi Marina. Come this way" Ester replied. She walked > into Jeanna: ../another/ door. > the jockey's quarters, with Marina following. Aeris walked > up to Cloud and Tifa, who were watching the big monitor Reniharu: ...which then disabled itself at the stroke of two. > in the center of the room, as Chocobos lined up at the starting > line. Jeanna: (darkly) ...unaware... of the fact that /someone/... had replaced the starter gun with a sawed-off shotgun... > "Hey Cloud" she said. > > "Hold on" Cloud said, as Marina and Imperia walked Jeanna: ...into a door. (A coconut falls on Jeanna, making a "clonk" sound and splitting in two as it hits) > up to the starting line. The bell rang, and they were > off! Cloud turned towards Aeris. "What were you > saying?" Reniharu: [Aeris] Someone set up us- >whap!< Jeanna: Urg... all... your... base... must... die... > "Oh nothing, it's not important..." Aeris replied. > 'Just that Marina might be an Ancient...' she thought. Kaneruil: Not that we're telepathic or anything. Reniharu: Speak for yourself. Jeanna: Meanwhile, Uematso ponders changing Aeris' theme to "You're Not Alone", in spite of the fact, Avatar, that she /is/. (glowers) > ~*~ > > After the race, Marina, Cloud, Tifa, and Aeris were > standing in the main room, smiling. Kaneruil: [Cloud] Duuude! That's some /good/ Marijuana tea! > "Another race won!" Marina said happily. Jeanna: [Marina à la Naga] /They/ have /no/ chance against /me/, /Marina/ the /Avatar/! Ohohoho! > "Congrats" Cloud said, smiling. Marina looked at him > and returned the smile. Kaneruil: That will be $5.99 for one hour's rental. (Jeanna /almost/ tosses a herring in Kaneruil's direction, but pauses just as she is about to let go of the fin she was holding it by, and blinks.) Jeanna: ...that wasn't... what I thought it was... was it? Reniharu: No. It was much less obscure. > "Hey Marina, can I talk to you for a moment?" Aeris > said. Marina nodded, and followed Aeris over to a quiet > corner. "Are you Jeanna: [Whomever] ...Dark Phoenix? > an Ancient?" Aeris whispered. > > "Yeah" Marina replied quietly. Kaneruil: [Marina, to Aeris] Why are we whispering? Jeanna: [Aeris, to Marina] Because we don't want that bastard psychic to hear us? Reniharu: Hey! I heard that! Jeanna: (smirking) ...I know. That's the /point/ of comments like that. (Reniharu sags.) > "I knew it" Aeris said. "So am I" she added. Marina > looked at her, blinking. Reniharu: Hey, don't steal Jeanna's shtick... (Jeanna whaps Reniharu with the TSGhouse pillow) > "I thought I was the only one left" she said. > > "So did I. Until now" Aeris informed. They smiled, Kaneruil: If it weren't for that damn informant, I would have got away after... why are you looking at me like that? > before turning to Cloud, who had called out their > names. He places the PHS back in his pocket. Reniharu: As opposed to the PM- (Reniharu soon realises that this is not the wisest thing to say when in the company of two women. Actually, he realises this rather physi- cally. No, don't ask.) > "Cait Sith says the tram is shut down, but he got us > rooms at the Ghost Hotel. Come on, let's go" Cloud > announced. Jeanna: [Cloud] Yeah, just like I planned... I /finally/ have a chance to kill that annoying Aeris... Mwafwahaha... Sephy-Kun will be /so/ proud of me... [herself] Hmm, Sephy-Kun... (sparkly-eyes) Kaneruil: What do you see in him? Jeanna: /In/? No idea! I like what I see on the /outside/ though! (sparkly-eyes) Mm, Sephy-kun! Kaneruil: ... (sweatdrop) > Marina and Aeris followed him and Tifa out, > Marina trailing behind slightly. As she passed a > trashcan she stopped, taking off her sunglasses. Kaneruil [Marina]: This trashcan isn't cool. I'll give it some help. > "I guess I won't be needing these anymore" she said, > smiling. She threw them away before running to catch > up with the others. Kaneruil: I don't know, sunglasses are useful for not having to look at ugly people, like, oh, Sephir-OW! Jeanna: (fuming severely, and holding a broken 4x8) /Don't diss my Sephy-kun!/ > ~*The End*~ > > CBIzumi: So, what'd you think? (Reniharu begins concentrating.) > Cloud: Please read and review! X: Been there, had someone else do that. Hehehe. Jeanna: ...I'm gonna kill you, X. /Twice/. X: Ooh, but /then/ how am I going to feel severe pain as you carve my spleen into the shape of, I think you said... a chocobo? Hmm? Reniharu: There is a lovely thing where I was a little while back, called the... Nexus. X: Yeeees? Your point bei- (At this, the screen explodes, sending Kaneruil and Jeanna diving to the floor. Reniharu sits unscathed, and smirking.) Jeanna: (on the floor, to Kaneruil) G'ah... Just when I was beginning to like him, he starts acting like that stupid wizard... Silver's voice: But with less style. (Jeanna opens her mouth. Then she shuts it again. And then she starts hitting her head repeatedly against the carpet.) ====================================================================== THE REAL END! ====================================================================== > You, girl, use whatever you're best at!" Cloud commanded.