THIS IS A DEATHFIC!

Right after dusk, Kid was in the middle of making camp, when his beloved horse Katy started to stir insecurely by the tree, where she was tied up for the night. He walked over to her, stroking her neck carefully.

"What's the matter, girl?" he asked with a soft voice, trying to help the animal relax.

But he wasn't very successful.

"Come on, what's wrong?"

He looked around, pulling his gun and cocked it. He took a few reluctant steps toward his bedroll and sat down on it, still keeping three eyes open for something, anything, that might have spooked Katy.

Darkness fell over him, where he still sat by the fire, holding his gun close and a cup of steaming coffee in the other hand.

Buck saw a man by the fire, evidently nervous about something, holding his gun in a tight grip. He had seen the fire in the darkness, had been waiting for several hours now. The darkness made it impossible to identify if the man was a soldier or not, and the possibility that he was made the Kiowa wait even longer, patient and careful. If a soldier from Fort Laramie saw him, he wouldn't even have time to pronounce he was going to die.

The horse the white man by the fire had, was apparently very upset about something, and Buck guessed it was his presence that made the animal so restless. Maybe, since the horse was in such a distress, that had made the man careful as well, Buck thought. That was why he had a gun in his hand.

Another hour passed, the exhausted Kiowa wishing the man would relax and go to sleep. All he was planning to do, was find out if the man was a soldier and then 'borrow' his fire for awhile. Only until dawn. Then he would keep walking, like he had been walking for days. Anything to get away from Laramie. He couldn't make his own fire, in case there were soldiers chasing him still. They would see him.

Kid sighed. This was getting both old and tiresome, Katy just wouldn't stop stepping around.

"Katy, will you stop it already?" he called, somewhat irritated, tossing a handful of dust toward the tree.

Buck spun around. What was that he heard? Katy? And that voice… He decided this was worth the risk of stepping into a soldier's camp. He had to see if that man, just a few feet away, was Kid.

He rose and took a step out of the bushes. Katy nearly pulled free from the tree in shock. Kid was instantly on his feet, waving his gun nervously in the air.

"Who are you? What do you want?"

"I don't want anything, and I think you know who I am…" Buck started, now certain. It was Kid.

"Do I? Yeah, who are you then?"

"I'm hurt, Kid! Don't you recognize your old friend?" Buck smiled weakly, taking another step toward him.

Kid eyed the stranger cautiously. He saw a man, wearing a torn shirt without sleeves and a pair of buckskin trousers, a beaded belt around his waist and a black vest. Kid stated he was barefoot, and very filthy, looked weary and tired. Around his neck he wore a black medicine pouch, which Kid recognized sooner than the stranger's face.

"Buck? Buck, is that you?!"

He dropped the gun on the ground and threw himself over Buck with his arms open. Buck instinctively wanted to shy away, but bit his teeth together and let his friend have his way, not showing his pain.

"It's good to see you too," he smiled.

"Dammit, I thought you were dead!" Kid said, pulling his friend with him to the fire, picking up the gun on his way.

"Really?" Buck asked, slowly sinking down on the ground beside his friend.

"That Indian fight, back in -62. It was all over the country in days, 'all men killed'," Kid said, looking back at himself and Lou the day they heard Buck - the tracker the army had hired, going after some renegade Indians - had been killed when the tribe fought back, just like all soldiers had been killed.

Kid sat in silence for a few moments, remembering the tears and frustration he and the others went through, as soon as the news of the Indian attack reached Rock Creek.

"I remember…" Buck said silently, realizing what hurt and sorrow he had caused his friends.

"Why didn't you let us know you were okay?" Kid asked, almost angry, but tried to keep his composure. After all, Buck was there now, alive.

"I didn't know the renegades were Kiowas. When I realized what I was almost doing to my own tribe, it was too late. They attacked the soldiers, killed every man standing. I got some minor injuries, and my brother told me… no, begged me, to come with him, live with him and what was left of his tribe. I had no choice," he concluded, saw the anger rising in Kid's eyes.

"You cold have refused, dammit!" he spat.

"I almost let the soldiers kill my own family, Kid! I owed it to my brother to go with him," Buck said, calming himself.

Kid sat silent for a moment, saw tears in his old friend's eyes.

"I never meant to let you believe I was dead. I thought of you every day, wondered what you heard of the attack. Guess I just never thought of what you'd heard about me…"

"I understand, Buck, I'm sorry I got mad," Kid murmured, shaking the memories of newspaper headlines and messengers out of his head.

"So, how come you're here now? I mean, it's quite a coincidence, isn't it?" he asked, Buck shaking his head.

"Not really. You never did learn how to be invisible at night, did ya?" Buck smiled, Kid chuckling.

"I just don't understand how you can make a fire black!" he laughed in his defense.

"I'll have to teach you some day…" Buck smiled again, looking down at his hands.
"But there's another reason why I'm here. I thought you were a soldier from the Fort at first."

"A soldier? Come on, Buck, why should one soldier, alone go from the Fort?" Kid asked with a smirk, but to Buck it made sense.

"Of course, I should've thought of that…" he murmured, Kid placing a hand on his shoulder.

"You okay, Buck? You look a little…"

"Messed up? Say that again…" Buck sighed, rubbing his left arm.

"You cold? Damn, where's my manors, you must be freezing!" Kid said, looking around for his blanket.

"It's okay, Kid, I should get going anyway…" Buck trailed off, not wanting to be of trouble.

"Buck, look at me," Kid said seriously, his Kiowa friend rising his gaze slowly.

"You're sick. The light may fool my eyes, but I bet you're sick, you really look bad. And come on, we both know the Buck I used to call my best friend, knew soldiers travel in groups these days. What's happened to you, what are you doing sneaking around here in the middle of the night? And you just said you should get going. Whereto, Buck?"

Buck swallowed. He had no explanation, just a long story. He was tired, hungry and cold. Kid might have a point, but he would never admit it.

"Buck, can you please explain what's going on?" Kid begged.

"You first, what are you doing here?" Buck asked, Kid placing the blanket around his shoulders.

"I was just to Laramie, escorting a friend of Lou's. She would've gone herself, but… Well, she's gonna have a baby soon and…"

"That's great news, Kid," Buck said, trying to sound happy but failed.

"Yeah, it is," Kid smiled, then returned to the story.
"I heard of some Indian trouble when I was there, do you know anything about that? They said an Indian was creating some sort of revolution in one of the prison camps, and is causing some serious disturbance in the Fort. He must be very brave, or perhaps stupid, daring to go against an entire fort like that… Wonder who he is, maybe I've heard of him…?" Kid trailed off, oblivious to Buck's serious face.

"You're looking at him."

Something snapped in Kid's head.

"What did you say?!"

"I said, you're looking at that stupid Indian," Buck repeated, his voice darker than just a minute ago.

"Wait a minute, you are that one Indian everybody talks about in Laramie?"

Buck nodded silently, pulling the blanket closer around his shoulders.

"It's a long story, Kid, you don't wanna hear it…"

"Oh yeah, I do alright!" Kid insisted, Buck sighing deeply.

"Then you better offer me some of that coffee, or I have a feeling I won't get half-way," he smirked, Kid handing him the cup with a smile, reaching out to take the coffee pot from the fire.

"I got some sandwiches here too, would you care for one?" he asked, his Indian friend nodding frantically. It had been much too long since he ate anything at all.

Buck cleared his dry throat, sipping the black brew carefully. His split lip sent an arrow of pain through his head at first, but soon he got used to the hot coffee and began his story.

"The soldiers tried to avenge the attack against them in 1862, the attack where I… hmm, 'died'… They sent several parties to destroy us, but they didn't make it until three years ago. They took the survivors to a prison camp, in Laramie, and well… We've been there since. They said they'd take us to a reservation 'soon' but so far there's been no change. We don't get anything to eat or drink, so we are forced to steal and hide away stuff. You'd be surprised if you knew how many underground tunnels there are in that camp!" he smiled, then turned serious again.
"Awhile ago my brother was killed, trying to escape with his family. Since he was the leader of the tribe, there was chaos for a time. Until I had had enough, and started fighting the soldiers. Not with force and weapons, but with words. Hard, powerful words… I still can't believe people actually listened to what I said. We were a group of perhaps fifty who worked for justice and freedom. I was proclaimed leader, and also all soldiers' target. Just awhile ago they got permission from the governor to kill me, to shoot me in the back if necessary."

He sat silent for a moment, collecting his thoughts, trying not to cry as the worst bit came.

"I had no choice but to escape. I hid in one of the tunnels for awhile, I don't know how long, until the tribe decided to help me get out of the camp. I just took what I could get and left everything else behind…"

Kid listened with big eyes, his friend staring at a blind spot as he told his tale. Kid couldn't believe what Buck was telling him was true, but on the other hand, why not?

"I'm sorry, Buck, I can't… Wow," he started, trying to show his friend there wasn't a such word to explain the sympathy he felt.

"I can't believe I did that either…" Buck sighed, still thinking of what he left behind.

After that they both sat silent, none of them knowing what else to say. Buck stared at the ground, pulling the blanket around his shivering body. The hunger he had felt before, and for a long time, was suddenly all gone. But not because of the sandwich. He thought of whom he had hurt by leaving like he did, not a word to explain what was going on, not a last goodbye. Kid once again placed a hand on his Indian friend's shoulder, squeezing it gently. Buck thought Kid didn't know half the reason why he was so upset, but still it didn't feel good to tell him. Not yet.

"Perhaps we should get some sleep, it's late. We can think about what to do in the morning," Kid suggested, Buck shaking his head.

"No. The entire army is after me, if I stay the night at your fire they'll kill you too."

Kid looked into the weary eyes of his long lost friend, wondering what to say.

"Buck, there are no soldiers for miles. We're far from the Fort, they won't find you here," he assured, not convincing Buck very much.

"They will, believe me. I'm their worst enemy right now, they won't win if I tell the free tribes what I told my own. Then they can't get away with killing just me, they'd have to kill hundreds of Indians. But right now I'm the only one they want. And you're a fool if you think they won't get me, sooner or later…"

CHAPTER 2

Kid was awake long after his friend had fallen into a restless slumber. He had been able to convince Buck into staying at his fire, just for the night. Buck lay with the blanket wrapped tightly around him, head resting on his left hand. Kid watched him with slight amazement, trying to grasp what he had just been told. He let out a sigh and lay down on his bedroll. He had a hundred questions in his head, and he would demand answers. But right now both of them needed to sleep.

It was only a few hours before dawn, the darkness hiding what the Kiowa had been through, the numerous bruises and wounds on his face and body slowly healing, as he finally slept somewhat soundly again, for the first time in weeks.

Buck looked up, into a pair of black eyes, smiling at him in the night. He was tired, wanted to sleep some more, but the beautiful woman by his side didn't have to ask him twice to stay awake.

Her pinkish lips parted in a wide smile, eyes glistering like stars in the moonlight. Her long, slightly waved, black hair fell over her shoulder, touched his face ever so lightly.

"I knew you hadn't left me, Running Buck," she said, her voice as clear and refreshing as the rain.

She leant down and kissed him. Buck felt her lips touch his, her warm breath against his cheek. He couldn't help but smile too, kissing her back with all the passion and desire been buried in his soul, for much too long.

"Iza, I love you," he smiled, hearing her soft giggle in response.

"I love you too, Running Buck, don't ever forget that!" she said, her voice suddenly changing into anger and frustration.

"Iza, I never meant to hurt you! Don't go, please!" he begged, her head slowly turning.

In seconds she was gone.

"Iza!" he called, but she wasn't there anymore, the dream turning into the real nightmare he had lived in since he left Fort Laramie.

He silently cried himself back into the gray fog, where he longed to stay, forever. Only there he was left alone, from the dreams and memories haunting him every hour of the day, every second of the night.

Kid could barely see Buck, the pre-dawn darkness was too thick. But he heard his friend mumble something, though only a few words came out in clear English.

"Iza… love you… Iza… don't…"

Kid listened to how the tone in Buck's voice changed, from sheer happiness to desperation. He didn't want to wake his friend, knew he needed the rest. But hearing him trapped in an apparent nightmare wasn't very much better. He sighed and rolled over, to look if Buck wasn't really awake after all. No, he slept by the almost faded fire, stirring slightly, still repeating that word or whatever it was; Iza… Kid thought he would ask his friend about it the following morning, but until then he knew he would be very curious, and also very sad as his friend seemed to be in despair. He sighed once more and closed his eyes, tried to sleep.

When Kid opened his eyes the next time, Buck was sitting up, his head heavily in his hands. Kid could only see half his face, but what he saw was enough. He had a big bruise on his forehead, another one on his cheek, crowned by an apparently deep cut, that couldn't have been tended to for days, the dried blood making it almost black. Another cut reached over both his lips, and finally there was a darkness under his eye. His hair, which was much longer than last time Kid had seen him, was tied together in a braid behind his head, but it looked like it had been done a long time ago. On his arms and upper body there were cuts and bruises as well, and his clothes were torn, looked old and worn close to the limit.

Buck knew Kid was awake, but he didn't care. His head was hurting from both fever and lack of sleep, but also from the memories and nightmares. His eyes were closed, but still he saw the pretty face of Iza; her smile, her dark sparkling eyes and her thick coal hair, that almost turned into a bluish shade in the sunlight.

"You okay, Buck?" Kid asked carefully, starting to revive the fire to make coffee.

His friend didn't answer, still sat silent with a tortured look on his face.

"I'm making breakfast, do you want some? You really should eat, you look…" Kid couldn't finish the sentence.

To say Buck looked bad was an understatement, and anything else seemed too meek. He sighed and turned back to the fire, his Kiowa friend still lost in his own mind, not listening at all.

It took several minutes for Buck to pull himself together and look up at Kid. He sat by the fire, trying to make the small flames bite the sticks he had added, hoping to get something to eat soon.

"Take out three or four sticks and try again," Buck said quietly, Kid looking up with an embarrassed smile.

"I'm not very good at this, am I?" he chuckled.

"I've seen worse…" Buck started, then remembered where he was and why.
"I gotta go, Kid. You'll be in trouble if I stay any longer."

Kid stared at him, dropping the sticks he was holding, almost burning his fingers.

"You can't just leave!" he cried.

"I have to. If the army finds me here, they'll kill us both! Kid, I'm sorry," Buck said, his voice trailing off at the end.

"You're sorry…" Kid nodded, rising to his feet.
"Look at yourself, Buck!" he cried again, standing over is friend with an angry look on his face.

"I don't think I want to…" Buck murmured, rising also, trying not to groan in pain over his cracked ribs.
"Kid, I don't want you to end up in trouble, not because of me."

With that he corrected the braid at the base of his neck and stood silent for a moment.

"Buck, what's happened to you? You look like a battlefield…" Kid nearly whispered, taking his old friend by the shoulders.

"I don't know, Kid, I messed up…" Buck sighed, memories flashing in his head again, making him turn away and break loose.

"Who beat you up like this?"

"I give you one guess," Buck muttered lowly.

"Okay, so the soldiers at the fort beat you up, but why? I mean, I thought you said they had orders to kill you…?"

Buck sighed, turned away again, covering his face with his hands.

"I don't know why they didn't kill me when they had the chance, but I guess they just wanted to extend it… The tribe helped me get away, and now…"

Kid looked down at his feet. He realized what he was asking from Buck wasn't easy for his Kiowa friend to explain, but still he wanted to know. He hadn't seen him in almost ten years, and he was evidently in trouble.

"Buck, I wanna help you," he said the thought out aloud, looking up again.

"There's nothing you can do, Kid. I'll just keep walking until I find someplace safe…"

"Like Rock Creek?" Kid tried.

Buck shook his head forcefully, the headache all but decreasing.

"I would bring hell with me there, you understand that, don't you?"

"As a matter of fact, I don't!" Kid raised his voice.
"Dammit, it sounds to me like you're just making excuses!"

"For what?!" Buck spat back, venom in his eyes as he looked straight into Kid's face.

"I wanna help you, there are people in Rock Creek who wants to help you! Dammit, Buck, come with me there, come home!"

Buck calmed himself slowly, taking deep breaths.

"What could you possibly do to help me? I'm wanted dead by the army, what can you do?!"

"We could hide you until you're safe," Kid said, lowering his voice again, sighing deeply in despair and frustration.
"I haven't seen one single soldier in Rock Creek since after the war, and they wouldn't have a reason to look for you there. Please, Buck. I beg you, come back to Rock Creek and let us help you. At least 'til you're stronger," he concluded, Buck sinking down to his knees silently, again cradling his face in his hands.

"I can't go, Kid, I can't leave her there to die…" he whispered, his hands going through his hair, making it even messier than before.

"Who?" Kid asked, cautiously kneeling beside his friend, at a loss of what to do next.

"Iza… I haven't seen her since I left the fort."

"Who's she? Iza, who is she?"

"She's my wife to-be. Was…"

"Buck, you gotta tell me the whole story here, I wanna help you if I can," Kid said calmly, his hand on Buck's shoulder.

Buck sighed, rising with some effort. He walked over to the fire, which was now burning wildly. Kid followed him, digging in his saddlebags for some jerky. Handing it to his friend, he too sat down and warmed himself, the chilly air around them making them both shiver.

"After we were captured, and taken to the fort, they separated men and women. After awhile, we managed to make a narrow tunnel between the two camps, so we could see our families, but when the soldiers found out, they forced down as many women as possible in the tunnel and filled it with dirt. After that Red Bear tried to escape, but he too was killed. We could only see our wives and families through a barbed wire fence, too high to climb."

He paused for a moment, Kid feeling somewhat scared he wouldn't continue, but soon he collected his thoughts and went on with his story.

"Iza and I were to be getting married just a few days after the army found us. When I last saw her, she was…" he stopped again, looking into Kid's face with tortured eyes.

"What, Buck?"

"Nothing, never mind that. She wasn't feeling well either… Several men and women, and especially children, died in the Fever. I don't know if Iza had it, but she was sick."

"Like you?"

Buck looked up from the flames with a startled look on his face.

"I don't know," he sighed, letting his thoughts trail off again, as the memories of Iza came back, haunting him.

"You ain't feeling well, are you?" Kid asked, though the answer was obvious.
"Why don't you come with me to Rock Creek, maybe we can help you?"

Buck sighed deeply, torn.

"You can go back when you're better," Kid stated, rising, extending his hand for Buck.

The Kiowa rose too, nodding silently.

"I'll come with you, but I won't stay longer than necessary. I gotta get her out of there, or I can't live with myself," he said, Kid nodding understanding.

CHAPTER 3

Lou was just preparing dinner when she heard some commotion outside. To her great joy, Katie was just coming around the corner of the barn, met by their three children and an older boy, her brother Jeremiah. She never saw someone sitting behind her husband, just ran outside and stayed on the porch with a wide smile on her face.

"Hi, Kid, welcome back!" she greeted, her husband jumping down on the ground, immediately surrounded by the laughing children.

He picked one up, hugging her tightly, then moved over to his wife, placed a kiss on her cheek.

"How's the baby?" he asked, patting her round belly with a soft hand.

Lou smiled then turned to see what the children were seeing; a stranger on Kid's horse. She watched him with wide eyes, for a moment struck by a flash of recognition, then taken aback by the fact that he was an Indian. Looking mighty wild too. Buck slid off Katie's rump, careful with his still aching body, then stood silent beside the horse that had taken him to Rock Creek. Home.

Lou took a couple of stiff steps toward him, still not sure what to think. Even with the bruises and the welt across his cheek, she couldn't not see it was Buck. She threw herself around his neck, hugging him tightly for a brief second, then loosened her grip and started sobbing against his shoulder.

"I thought you were dead, you bastard!" she scolded, her fists hitting him loosely in the back.

As her sobs subsided only seconds later, she broke out in a laughter. Half-laughing, half-giggling against his chest, she hugged him again.

"I can't believe it's you," she whispered in his ear, feeling his weak arms around her back.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled with his face hidden in her hair, hugging her tighter.
"I'm really sorry, Lou."

Kid looked on with a content smile on his face. As Buck's embrace grew tighter around Lou, he knew his old friend would stay until he was better. The three of them were startled by a dark voice speaking from the porch.

"Am I invited?"

Kid turned around, smiling at Jimmy. Lou broke loose from Buck, who looked up with tired, yet excited eyes.

He took a step toward his gunfighter friend, again embraced by a pair of arms, only this time they were much stronger.

"Thought you died out there, Buck. Did you forget something, or what?" Jimmy joked, taking a step back to look at his friend.

Buck was at that moment starting to feel dizzy, thought it was all the excitement, though it was getting harder to stay on his feet. He smiled weakly, trying to think of something to say. The words wouldn't come to him, and he stared dumbfounded at Jimmy. Then everything began to swirl around him, and he heard his friends scream. Something hard hit his back, before a bright light and a nausea broke in.

Lou sat by Buck's bed, stroking his forehead with a damp towel. Kid, Jeremiah and Jimmy stayed back, unsure of what to do. Doctor Clayton was going through his bag, finding a smallish bottle with something white in it. While giving Lou instructions how to use it, to keep Buck's fever down, he also told her he would be back the next day. Shortly after that he had gone back into town.

"You sure he ain't got the Fever?" Jimmy asked with an uncertainty in his voice they all heard, and in a way understood.

"Doc said we wouldn't catch anything, Jimmy, you can relax," Kid said, somewhat irritated over his friend's self-centered worries.

"I know, I just…" he started, then went silently toward the kitchen instead.

Kid turned his attention back to Buck and Lou.

"What else did he say?" he asked.

"That there's no way of telling. He might die, he might live," Lou started with a growing despair in her voice.

"It's okay, Lou," Kid promised, taking her in his arms, holding her tightly until she had stopped sobbing.

That night Lou went into labor. Kid first thought it was only the excitement, but before he knew it, he held a tiny little human body in his arms, smiling widely. Lou wanted to stay awake, both for the baby and for Buck, who was still overtaken by a high temperature, but doctor Clayton told her to remain in bed and rest. She reluctantly did so, but the moment the sun rose by the horizon she was up.

She held her baby in her arms, looking at the sunrise. The dark sky turned orange, then pinkish and finally blue. She rocked the newborn carefully, hushing her as she nearly awoke a few minutes later.

When Kid woke up, he instantly started to fuss over his tiny wife, told her to stay in bed.

"I can take care of things while you rest, okay?"

"Kid, I'm fine. Really," she promised, kissing his cheek, walking over to the cot where Buck lay asleep.
"Now, tell me about Buck. He must have told you quite a lot on the way back here, didn't he?"

"Yeah, he did…" Kid nodded slowly, unsure of how to continue.
"He told me some pretty scary things."

"Like what?" Lou asked, letting her husband take the newborn, instead grabbing a towel and started damping Buck's brow.

"Like what's happened to him and his tribe…"

"Tell me, Kid. I wanna know what he's been through, and I don't think he'll tell me if I ask him when he wakes up," she begged.

"Why wouldn't he?" Kid asked, hoping he wouldn't have to retell all the horrific things Buck had shared.

"I just feel he wouldn't. Not all of it, anyway. Please, Kid."

Kid sighed, sat himself down on a chair by the window, his youngest daughter sleeping in his strong arms. Hesitantly he began to tell Lou what he had heard from Buck, and as he finished she was staring at him with her big brown eyes.

"I understand he wants to go back there, even if it's a living hell…" she sighed, thought of what Kid had said about Iza.

"That's just the problem, he can't go back. They'll kill him."

Before Lou could reply, Jimmy and Jeremiah came out of the bunkhouse. Kid sighed and nodded.

"Time to do some chores," he said and headed for the door, after leaving his daughter securely in her mother's arms.

Just then Buck stirred, looking up with weary eyes, unable to see straight.

"Buck?" Lou called softly, still wiping at his feverish forehead with one hand.

"Lou…?"

She smiled widely, brushing some hair back from his face. She felt his fever was much lower now, though not completely gone.

"How are you? You really scared us…" she asked, just as her baby started whining.

Buck looked on as Lou made an attempt to keep her daughter content.

"Maybe if you hold her?" Lou suggested suddenly, to Buck's major surprise.

"Me? I don't know how to handle little ones…" he excused himself, as Lou helped him into a sitting position, propping some pillows behind his back.

Lou thought after all he had been through, he might want something else to think about, and so she suggested again he should hold the little girl, who by now was getting mighty uncomfortable in Lou's arms.

She placed the baby by his chest, two almost trembling arms carefully embracing her.

"There you go, you did know!" she encouraged with a wide smile.

Buck's face expression changed in a second. A soft, almost dreaming look fell over him, the baby growing silent.

"I almost think she likes you," Lou smiled.

"When was she born?" Buck frowned, certain she was pregnant the last time he saw her.

"Just last night. Isn't she the cutest?"

Buck nodded silently, sat with deep thoughts going through his mind for several moments.

"So this is what they look like, huh?" he smiled, Lou nodding slowly.

"They sure do," she agreed.

Buck carefully handed the baby back, Lou taking her with a smile.

"You tired?"

"A bit, but I just…" he started, not sure of how to continue.

Lou decided to change subject.

"Kid told me what you've been through, in Laramie and everything…"

Buck looked surprised for a moment, then nodded silently.

"He also told me about Iza…"

A darkness fell over Buck's face, but he kept his composure and looked up again.

"You must really love her," Lou stated, again feeling his forehead.

Buck sighed, looking down at his hands. He decided it was best to be direct.

"We were having a baby."

CHAPTER 4

Lou didn't know whether to be happy for what he had coming or sorry it might never happen, and so just sat there in front of him with a neutral look on her face.

"The baby should be born any day now… Maybe it is born already, I don't know…" Buck spoke, the words coming out as a distant whisper as he trailed off.

Lou rose reluctantly to leave her baby in the cradle across the room, then though the best thing to do was comfort Buck, so she wrapped her arms around him. To Buck that gesture was first very awkward. He hadn't met Lou in a whole long time, and this kind of affection seemed like something totally new. Something they didn't even have ten years before. But he let her arms stay around him, hug him until he found some solace at last. But he couldn't make his own arms respond to the embrace, they just lay limply along his sides, resting heavily on the blanket.

When Lou let go of him, he felt tears in his eyes. She looked at him for a long silent moment, wishing he would let those tears fall so she could wipe them away, but he just sat there, eyes moist and face a mixture of grief and sadness.

"Why don't you tell me a little about her? It might help to remember the good things about her and what you did together before your tribe was captured…?" she suggested, Buck drawing a deep sigh.

"I can't think about her," he replied silently.

"Why not? You always encouraged me to think about the good in Kid when he was far away, and it really did help," she managed a faint smile.

"I know, but when I think about her, I always remember what the army did to her… And why I can't go back, and all that's happened lately… Lou, I love her so much it hurts," he spoke honestly, noticing he was laying out his entire heart and soul to her, a woman he loved as a sister, but still never dared to talk to about things like that before. He thought motherhood had changed her in a way, though it barely showed on the outside. She was just different in spirit.

"I know," Lou smiled to herself.
"That's the way I feel whenever Kid ain't around. Even if he's just gone into town for supplies, I feel like I'm gonna fall apart if I don't see him soon enough."

"I dream about her, every night," Buck continued, still amazed how much he had longed for this moment without knowing it. He felt now he needed to get it out. All of it.

"I know," Lou chuckled.
"I dream about Kid all the time, even in the days!"

Buck's face fell somewhat, the tears close to falling this time.

"My dreams scare me, as well as they nearly seduce me. She's so beautiful, Lou, but in the dreams she always end up yelling at me. It scares me, and it hurts even more," he whispered out the last sentence, feeling Lou's arms around him again.

"Buck, there are no words to explain how sorry I am that this has happened to you," she whispered into his ear, holding him tighter.

To her relief as well as surprise, he hugged her back this time.

A week passed by before Buck was allowed to leave bed. He was finally relieved of most of the pain in his body, which had rested more than ever. But still his head was filled with sorrow and pain, and at night he couldn't sleep any better than before. He had had several talks to Lou since that first one, and it had almost always ended with an embrace, where she tried to comfort his tortured heart and battered soul.

He had been given a fresh new shirt from town, now with sleeves, which Lou had insisted he accepted, but he refused to give up on his buckskin trousers. His hair had been finally straightened out, but he refused to have it cut. It reached below his waist, and it seemed a lot thinner than before. The doctor said it was most likely from lack of nourishment, and he was highly concerned for Buck's thin body. Buck himself just said he was used to it, and that was that. He had more important things on his mind, didn't think he needed the extra concern. All his energy still went to the thoughts and dreams about Iza, but Lou probed he ate until he was completely full every day, at every meal. He complied without making a fuss, which pleased Lou even though she was still worried. But she had to remind herself that he was a grown man and used to small meals. Though she couldn't help but keep an eye on him at the dinner table.

"So, Buck?" Kid spoke, swallowing a mouthful of coffee.

"Huh?"

Buck had been sitting in his own thoughts since the dishes were done. Iza had as usual invaded his mind and refused to leave.

"Since you're feeling better, I was wondering how it's gonna be," Kid repeated.

"I was thinking on that…" Buck started and sought a way to continue.
"I need to go look for Iza."

He looked up and met the concerned eyes around the table. Even the McCloud children stared at him.

"You going away, uncle Buck?" five year-old Mary McCloud asked.

Buck nodded. He wished he had just left a note like he thought he'd do, but he also realized he couldn't just leave them all again. He owed it to them to at least let them know when he left this time.

"When?" Lou asked, the hurt obvious in her eyes and voice.

"First light…"

Kid sighed deeply and let his cup down on the table, staring at his old friend with hard eyes. Then he suddenly softened and lifted his head high again.

"I'm going with you."

Kid closed the door to the house and walked up to his friend, who was sitting on a hay bale by the barn, apparently looking at the stars above. They had all argued ever since dinner, but Kid was determined. He was going with Buck. Jimmy had considered going too, but decided it better to wait before he told Lou that. Buck welcomed Kid by scooting closer to the edge of the bale, offering space beside him. Kid sat down and also looked at the stars for awhile. When he spoke he still had his eyes fixed on the dark yet starry sky.

"So, when are we leaving?"

"You coming after all? What does Lou say?" Buck asked, turning his gaze to look at Kid.

"I don't care," Kid said casually.

Buck turned stared him down, and when Kid met his eyes he knew his old friend demanded an explanation.

"Since when?" Buck awed.

"Of course I care 'bout what she says, but this time that's not gonna hold me back. I'm going with you Laramie. End of discussion."

Buck nodded silently and let his gaze wander up to the stars again.

"Thank you."

Kid smiled, also looking at the white dots on the velvet sky.

"I have to get my horse back somehow," he chuckled and clapped Buck's back brotherly.

Before long Jimmy joined them. He hadn't told Lou about his plans yet, but he did before they all went to their separate bedrooms an hour later. By first light they were under way, all three of them, riding hell for leather toward Fort Laramie.

CHAPTER 5

"Now, where did you say the women's encampment was?" Kid asked, surveying the land ahead of them.

They were less than half a mile from the Fort, but Buck had insisted they turned south, toward the prison camps.

"Down that ridge," Buck pointed, urging his mount forward.

Jimmy and Kid followed, trying to keep up with Buck's tempo. They saw the desperation in his eyes, but every action he made also proved to them how he longed to see Iza again. Although he never spoke of her, they both knew about his horrific dreams, and every time he trailed off they knew where his thoughts went. Buck couldn't believe he was so close to her again, yet so far from saving her. So he urged his horse on.

The barb wire fence was as high as the buildings in the camp, and the numerous wires created a net of thorns. No wonder no one could escape, Kid thought as he gazed over the prison, where so many dishonored souls were forced to live by the rules of the white soldiers. The wardens paced back and forth by the fence, clutching their loaded rifles in their arms. Buck's stomach writhed at the sight, the disgust he felt obvious in his eyes. He swallowed hard and turned to his friends.

"I can't ask you to be a part of this."

"And you didn't. We're with you anyway," Jimmy smirked, but Kid's face remained serious.

"Exactly what are you planning to do?" he asked.

"I don't know. Wait 'til dark, I guess. By then I've thought of something," Buck replied.

"Thought of what?" Kid persisted.

"I gotta go in there, Kid, with or without your help!" Buck snapped, sensing Kid's doubt, but he calmed himself shortly.
"There's a tunnel not far from here. The soldiers filled it up, but there's been a lot of digging since then. When I left it was almost done. Unless the bluecoats have seen it, there shouldn't be much left."

"You mean we help dig?" Jimmy asked.

"From the outside?" Kid finished for him.

"Yeah. It's worth a try, but we can't start until dark. The wardens always have dinner after sundown," Buck explained, leading his horse down into a small gully.
"We can hide down here," he spoke lowly over his shoulder, hoping the wrong ears hadn't heard.

They had dug for hours already, but still there was only more dirt to move out of the way. The soil was soft, as a proof Buck was telling the truth before. The tunnel had been filled up not too long ago.

"Buck!" Kid whispered.

Buck came back from inside the tunnel they had dug, his entire body covered in dust and sand.

"What?" Buck asked back, taking his water bottle.

"How much further? It's late," Kid pointed out.

"I'm digging as fast as I can. Here, move this away," Buck ordered, shoving more sand toward his friends. Jimmy did his best to move the sand away from the opening where Buck sat, and the Kiowa went back to work a moment later.

"Hurry," Kid begged, but only heard Buck murmur something from far inside the tunnel.

Kid watched the wardens pace back and forth. They had already quarreled with several Kiowas who had come too close to the fence. It often ended with fists flying. Kid turned back to the tunnel, which by now - an hour from dawn - was getting mighty long. Buck came crawling out with a lantern in his hand. He stood stiffly, stretching his back with a moan.

"How's it going?" Kid asked.

"Better than expected. There's not much left now, I recognize the branches in there. We should meet the diggers from the inside any minute."

"Can't I help?" Kid asked.

"No, I need to do this alone. And remember what I told you!" Buck warned.

"Yeah, yeah, if someone comes we draw our guns and call you our prisoner, I got it," Kid assured him.
"But me and Jimmy haven't done anything, you must be exhausted?"

"I'm fine, I'll rest once this is over," Buck said and turned back to the tunnel.

Jimmy went back to shoving sand away and Kid held guard.

"Guys!" Buck called a few minutes later.

He crawled out and waved frantically with his hands.

"I'm through!"

Jimmy paced angrily with his arms crossed over his chest around the tunnel opening. Kid looked at his pocket watch with a sigh. Buck had been gone for an hour and it was now daylight. The opening had been covered with branches and leafs, so if someone came by it wouldn't look so suspicious. But waiting for Buck to come back, without knowing what went on inside the prison camp, was to say the least frustrating. Jimmy finally uncrossed his arms and flung them up in the air.

"I'm going after him!"

"Jimmy, you can't!" Kid warned.
"We gotta wait for him to come back, what do you think the army would say if they found you in there?"

"He could be dead for all we know!" Jimmy whined.

"There's been no commotion, I'm sure he's fine," Kid muttered, though he convinced no one.

They settled in to catch some rest, sipping coffee to spend the time waiting.

"Yellow Horse!" Buck whispered.

His voice reached the ears of Red Bear's widow. Buck had been hiding behind a screen in one of the buildings for over an hour, but no one had come inside until now. To his great relief it was someone he knew.

"Who's there?" Yellow Horse called nervously.

"It's me, Running Buck!" Buck whispered, waving for Yellow Horse to come closer.
"Cover me, the door is still open. Pretend you're looking for something," he begged and Yellow Horse did so.

"What are you doing here? The bluecoats wants your scalp!" Yellow Horse whispered.

"I've come for Iza. Have you seen her?"

"Yes," Yellow Horse replied.
"She is well. She had the baby."

"She did?" Buck asked, and his body relaxed against the wall, his face softening somewhat.

"Yes, before sundown yesterday. She had a baby boy," Yellow Horse smiled.

Buck mellowed over the fact that he was now a father, that he had a son. But his thoughts were shortly disturbed by a shout from outside.

"I must go," Yellow Horse said, turning to her brother in-law.
"I will tell her you are here. But how did you get in?"

"Through the old tunnel in the back. But you mustn't tell anyone, you hear me?" Buck warned and Yellow Horse nodded.
"If the others find out about this, there'll be a rush over here and the bluecoats will know something's wrong. Don't tell!"

"I won't. Now I must go. What do I tell Iza about you?"

"Tell her to meet me here after dark. But not a word to anyone else!" Buck warned a final time.

Yellow Horse nodded and turned to the door. She glanced over her shoulder at her late husband's brother, who settled in to sleep some behind the screen. There he would be safe, especially with the blankets he found there pulled over his body. Yellow Horse hurried outside and closed the door.

CHAPTER 6

Buck woke from some noise in the room. The instant he realized where he was, he stopped breathing, listening sharply for any sounds. He heard soft moccasin clad feet brush over the plank floor, and the rustling of a thin deerskin dress. He pulled the blankets away and rose behind the screen, taking one confident step out.

"Running Buck!" Iza cried and ran into his arms.

She hugged him hard, though careful so their son wouldn't get hurt. Buck hugged her back, inhaling her, almost trying to melt into her. He pulled back the moment he realized something moved against his chest.

"Meet your son," Iza spoke, her eyes teary from happiness.

Buck was speechless, staring at the small bundle in his beloved's arms. Iza carefully let their child travel to Buck's arms, and watched him hold his son, looking with tear-glazed eyes at the infant that proved their love.

"He's beautiful," Buck stuttered, touching the child's cheek with one finger, which seemed unnaturally big to the small face.

"I missed you so much, where have you been? The bluecoats said you died, but I knew they lied. What happened to you?" Iza asked, falling into her beloved's arms once again, her hand touching his cheek, where the welt was healing nicely.

"I got away," Buck stated simply, leaning his head on her shoulder.
"The men helped me escape. I've been with friends," he explained.

"Your Pony Express friends?" Iza asked and kissed his cheek lovingly.

"Yeah, most of them. I meant to come back sooner, but they wouldn't let me," Buck said and pulled back enough to give her lips a real kiss.

"I love you, Running Buck. That you're here now is all that matters," Iza assured him and took their son back, still standing in Buck's arms.

Buck looked over her shoulder absently, his eyes discovering that the door behind her was open. He had only enough time to state that before a bluecoat came by and spotted the embracing couple, shouting for backup. Buck leaped away from the door, pulling his wife with him.

"There's a tunnel in the back room, use it and get away from here!" he shouted a second before two soldiers entered the building, running after him through another room.

Buck had no way out and was forced to fight them. He grabbed a clay bowl from a table in front of him and threw it into one of the soldiers face. From what he saw that meant one man down. The other one forced him against the wall, standing on one arm's length with an evil smirk on his face. Buck felt a window behind him and decided he had only one way out of there. He kicked with all his force at whatever he would hit, and leaped through the window before the bluecoat could get up again. Buck cut himself on the broken glass, but didn't care, he just ran for cover. He heard gunshots behind him, people screaming. One bullet grazed his arm but didn't stop him from running. He saw an open door in a small bunkhouse not far away, and decided he had no chance of fighting off another soldier out in the open.

Entering the building he looked around frantically, seeking a place to hide or a possible weapon. The soldier on his tail was shortly standing in the door, waving his handgun at Buck.

"I gotcha now, Injun!" he sneered and closed the door, launching himself forward, knocking Buck over.

Buck was pinned under the larger man's weight, fighting to get away from the gun that was between them. He managed to get a hold of it and forced it away, at the same time smacking the soldier on the mouth. It gave him enough time to get on his feet and run to the other side of the bunkhouse.

"You think you're so smart," the soldier growled and wiped at his bleeding lip.

Buck's left hand searched the table beside him for something to throw, and soon he had his fingers wrapping around a lit lantern. He knew what throwing it meant, but he never hesitated. The bluecoat howled in pain and was shortly burning all over, the fire spreading to the blankets in one of the bunks he fell into. Buck had no windows on his side of the room and the soldier kept running around, his arms flung up in the air, screaming his endless agony. Buck couldn't risk running past him. The room was shortly overflowed with flames, and finally the soldier fell dead on the floor.

Buck jumped over the body and headed for the door. Locked. He used all his weight to force it down, but it wouldn't budge. He felt the panic overcome him though he tried to keep it on a distance, his hands clutching at the door like crazy. He heard himself almost sob in fear, panicking more and more by every second that went by. He was coughing from the smoke, his skin burning from the incredible heat around him, and his face was stained with tears of desperation. He gave up on the door and tried to get to the windows, but it was impossible. The floor was burning. He was trapped, all because he threw that lantern. He scolded himself, closing his eyes as if everything would go away if he stopped thinking about it. The minutes went by and the bunkhouse was ready to explode. Buck thought of Iza and their son, and they gave him the courage he needed to run for the door one last time.

CHAPTER 7

"I'm goin' in there, you can't stop me!" Jimmy cried and headed for the tunnel opening.

"Dammit, Hickok! We don't know what's been goin' on in there, we might get killed!" Kid shouted back, pulling Jimmy's sleeve.

"And what if Buck gets killed?!" Jimmy roared back.

Kid sighed and let go of his friend. He looked around, his eyes locking on the dark smoke that welled up into the air from the camp. When he turned back to Jimmy, he saw his gunfighter friend had already pulled aside the branches at the tunnel opening.

"Come on, hurry!" he called and crawled down under ground.

Again it was useless. The door didn't move. He sighed a deep sigh and clutched his hair, looking around in the burning room. He heard a creaking above him and knew the roof was coming down any minute. He looked at the closest window, but it was all black due to the flames that kept licking against it. He had no idea what was happening outside, if someone was perhaps trying to save him. He started banging on the door, screaming for help, swallowing the fear for a second. The ceiling, like the rest of the room, was all covered in flames and small pieces of wood were already falling down. He heard a loud and indescribable noise the second he launched at the door again, and the roof came down over him.

Iza, who had been standing outside with the rest of the women and soldiers in the camp, cradled her son tightly against her chest and tried to hold her head up high. She saw her husband to-be stumble out on the porch half a second before the roof came down, covering most of his body. She never hesitated before running toward him, kicking away still burning planks from his body. He lay in an awkward position with his face down. Iza carefully rolled him over, looking at his absent face expression. He stared at the sky, his luminous eyes all teary from the smoke. She clasped his hand and held it tightly.

"Running Buck? Speak to me, Running Buck!" she pleaded, bringing his hand to her face.

"Iza?" Buck spoke, still staring at the sky.

"I'm here," she whispered, looking over her shoulder.

The soldiers all stood shocked and perplexed, as did the other women.

"I'm here, Running Buck."

"I love you," Buck said, his eyes moving unfocused.

"I love you too," Iza assured him, knowing she was about to lose her beloved.

"I love our son."

"I know," Iza squeezed over her lips, her eyes overflowing with tears.
"I'll name him Brave Buck," she whispered.

"That's a good name," Buck smiled weakly, his eyes staring at the sky again.

"You are so brave, my love. It's the only name for your son," Iza said.

Buck swallowed and closed his eyes for a moment. When he looked up he seemed weaker.

"Kiss me," he begged.

"What?" Iza asked, straining to hear his dying whisper.

"Please… Kiss me."

Iza sniffled and carefully bent down, placing her lips over his, feeling his last breath on her cheek. When she looked up his eyes were closed and his body still. She turned with a shivering lower lip to the spectators.

"A brave man is dead," she spoke loudly.
"Honor him in your hearts, he did this for us," she demanded, rising with her son in her arms.

She never wiped at the tears that streamed down her cheeks. She stood over her beloved's body and stared angrily at the bluecoats. They never dared to come near her, merely watched from a distance.

"I… I'll get serge," one of them stuttered and left in a hurry.

"Yellow Horse, Staring Eagle," Iza called.
"Help me carry him away," she begged.

Her friends came to her assistance and together they lifted Buck's body up high. They walked through the group of stunned people, carrying the body of their savior with them to the building where he had waited for Iza earlier. Iza had them place him there, in the back room, near the tunnel opening, which was covered with planks so it looked like the floor. She grabbed a sheet from one of the bunks there, and wrapped it around her beloved's body. All along she was working like in a haze, the shock yet not overcoming her. Her mind was blurred, and she was dizzy. But Running Buck had to be covered with that sheet.

It was only early in the afternoon, but it seemed like the longest day of her entire life. She left Buck's face uncovered, and she sat for an eternity just staring at him. Yellow Horse and Staring Eagle had left her alone, standing guard outside the building. The soldiers knew the Natives had some sort of ceremony whenever one of their loved ones died, but they had never come to respect it. But to avoid further trouble in the camp, they wouldn't interfere right now. Though the woman inside would definitely be punished later.

TO BE CONTINUED…