This page describes my friends and family who come from the tiny, inbred City of Durham. All the people here have committed incest at some point or other.
To see other pictures of my sister, brother, James Gibson, Graeme, Lee, Muzz & Rod click here: Durham pictures

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David Carr, 1977+

Svelte superlover David can be seen with a different lady on his arm every night of the week. He could teach his older brother Richard a few things about erogenous zones.

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Gidd (Andrew Murray), 1977+

Ghostly Gidd has no skin colour and weighs only 6 and a half stone, despite being tall. He sleeps over 12 hours every day to conserve what little energy he has and cannot speak above a very low whisper. Not, being able to afford the medicine he needs to stay alive, he relies on charity from his older brother Muzz

Graeme Jackson, 1975+

Graeme's biggest claim to fame is that his sister was due to go to the very Buck's Fizz concert that was cancelled when they had a terrible coach crash on the way.

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Hannah Davies, 1977+

Now that my sister has retired from the world of showbiz she has stopped doing drugs and even smoking. In her sordid past she managed to meet Damon Albon from Blur, The Buzzcocks, Garbage, These Animal Men and The Backstreet Boys. The high point of her life was when she appeared on the Good Morning talkshow with Punch & Richard on ITV. She appeared as a Courtney Love look-a-like before Courtney acquired any dress sense.

Hill, 1974+

I don't know what Hill is doing now, but I have this story to tell about him:
Me, Jackson & Kevin were coming out of The Bridge in Durham. We'd just met Hill who was on his own. Hill is a funny one, and in The Bridge he downed a wide range of drinks including several he knew he hated, because he wanted to "get pissed quick". So we were on our way up to The Colpitts to meet some more of our mates, and on the way up we met two friendly guys who were dressed up as Winnie the Pooh & Mickey Mouse, collecting money for charity in a yellow bucket. Winnie the Pooh said, "Any money for charity lads?" in a really friendly and cheerful voice, so we started digging deep into our pockets.
Except Hill that is who asked, "Who are you looking at?"
Given the friendly nature of his request, Winnie must have thought he misheard Hill, while we got out our change and threw it in his bucket. Hill needed to make a point however, and he squared his extremely weedy and small frame up to Winnie and said again "Who are you looking at?" (no response from Winnie). This was followed by "Are yer starting are yer?" It didn't take a genious to see where this situation might lead and so Kevin said to Hill, "Hill, you can't have a fight with Winnie the Pooh!" But Hill said, "Winnie the Pooh? Winnie the fucking shite more like!" This was the moment that Winnie had had enough. Suddenly The Pooh, who was around ten times larger than Hill ripped off his head to reveal a huge fat sweaty bloke who started laying into our acquantance. Mickey was trying to calm him down, "Hawway man, he's not worth it." So here was a fat sweaty Winnie the Whatever laying into our pathetic pal, and Mickey Mouse trying to break it up. We laughed ourselves to bits.

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Kevin Murphy, 1974+

When Kevin is not mutating or slicing living animals (dogs, monkeys, mice & squirrels) for a living, he is an excellent writer, making up for his dull life in his fantasy world. He is a strict vegetarian because he's scared silly of chickens.

Kevin Hindley, 1973+

Accountant Kevin loves tax and is proud of the fact that he spends his spare time counting his bills. He is not a man to anger however because he has done some serious karate and can break a man's neck with one flick of his limp wrist.

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Lee Anderson, 1975+

He is 5'10''
His birthday is 9/2/75

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Muzz (James Murray), 1974+

Daybreak... Makes me nervous. Lovely Muzz has a band heavily influenced by Boy George, called Dead America (they're not trying for the US market). Could be quite famous one day in one of the pubs in Camden. See his website here: Dead America
Muzz's best moment was at his friend Decknall's house party. He was sitting outside on a deckchair, when he was suddenly sick all over himself. Decknall's mum was attending the party and she came out with a big hose and hosed James down without saying a word while he was still sitting in the deck chair. Muzz tried hard not to laugh, but broke out into a fit of cheeky little giggles.

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Nicholas Davies, 1983+

Now that I am not in regular contact with him my little brother does not have any good role models in his life, and has lapsed a wreck, where once he a was a polite little boy. Things he has done since I moved (involving alcohol) are:

At a friends house party, he got everybody (including the guy whose house it was) to get the chairs and smash them by throwing them off the balcony.
Knocked himself out falling off a wall.
Helped himself to Ł200 of whisky when my parents went away on holiday.
Been sick on himself and hid his clothes in his wardrobe for 2 weeks until my mum wondered what the smell was coming from his room.
When he couldn't find his cloakroom ticket at a Durham nightclub he took off his top, and then starting taking off his trousers until his friend took his wallet off him and opened it to reveal the missing ticket.

Let me tell you a little story about when I was living in Durham and I had a gas fire in my bedroom. When I was too busy to light it I got my brother to light it by turning on the gas, and then lighting the gas in the fire with a match. Unfortunately for him, he was only three and was quite slow to light the fire, by which time a lot of gas had escaped. Because he was small he bent right over the fire to light it. Whoosh! A huge wave of fire went up and burnt his hair. Which sounds quite serious, except all the little hairs on his head sizzled and frizzled until they were crazy and curly, and my brother was the unwilling owner of a blond afro hair-do. Looked amazing, but smelt very unpleasant.

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Richard Carr, 1975+

Geordie Richard Carr enjoys the finer things in life like Cockburns port, Cuban cigars and pot-pourri cigarettes. He likes to spend his free time in any quiet pub, sipping on a pint of bitter and meeting old gentlemen.

Richard Laybourn, 1987+

As you can see from this picture my cousin Richard has no friends and stays in his bedroom planning mass murders.

Roderick Graeme, 1974+

Rod does nothing except play football & drink beer.

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