This cheesy page is dedicated to friendship, empathy and my arse.

B

Chris Bath, 1973+

Tiny batty boy Chris is only 4'6" tall and keeps getting mistaken for a pre-pubescent teenager. He keeps challenging people to running competitions and losing, but to be fair to him he can run very fast for his size.

Beardie (John Elks), 1975+

Beardie looks the way he does because he's hoping to be taken for the new Messiah. He has the following special powers:

He eats only nuts, birdseed & lentils AND survives.
He can turn wine into water, using his liver.
He can withstand crucifixion (this needs to be tested).

Ben Holland, 1975+

Never trust Ben! Ben is hack and spends must of his time working out how he can stab his friends in the back. He has also had sex with his younger sister.

Borg, The Phil, 1973+

Four-eyes Phil won a drinking competition in Oxford by drinking the equivalent of 13.5 pints of lager. He threw up twice, once in the Oxford Union bar, where drunken Spliffy ate some of his vomit. Finally he threw up all over himself on his bedroom floor where he slept.

D

Dave Meredith, 1975+

Dour Dave Meredith is always unsatisfied. He was unsatisfied with the jobs available in England, and moved to America. He is currently unsatisfied with his life there where he is living with his unsatisfying girlfriend.

David Niven

Debbo (Mike Debenham), 1976+

When Mike was at university he wore one pair of jeans for 3 years. He has an encyclopaedic knowledge of pop music though. However this did not help him when he appeared on Channel 4's popular quiz show 15-1, when he was one of the few contestants to be knocked out without saying a single word.

G

badgazza, 1973+

Alcoholic Essex boy Gazza likes nothing better than driving around London drunk in his Green Ford Escort listening to rap-music, shouting at girls and saying "Yo! Black brother" to all his mates. Not to be mistaken for the alcoholic Gazza with a football talent. He has never been arrested, at least he has not been arrested in England for particularly serious crimes.

M

Mark Collins, 1976+

Lanky Mark Collins is also spouting crap.

R

Rachel Roberts, 1976+

Evangelical Christian Rachel Roberts reads the bible at breakfast. She once got drunk and smiled at someone and has been repenting ever since.

S

Spliffy (Simon Smith), 1975+

Everyone knows Spliffy, or at least they should. See a picture of him in action here: Big Spliffy

T

Tim Emiola, 1974+

Big bad Tim knows how to talk. In a very loud voice. Unfortunately he doesn't know how to listen. And he is still a virgin at 26. He was one of my housemates at university.

Z

Zura, 1971+

The many faces of Zura. Notice that he is an understudy to the professor out of Tintin.

Zura is my GREATEST Georgian friend! He is lovely and always looking out for new BEST friends so he can talk about Bruce Campbell (Evil Dead) with them. Visit his website here: Zura